Love Equals Sacrifice
by She'sAShipper
Summary: Rory and Jess find out about love, sacrifice and life as Jess adjusts to life after a devestating car wreck. Story Complete. Sequel planned for late 2008.
1. Chapter One

Title:  Love Equals Sacrifice

Author: LadyCommish

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the first two and a half pages of dialogue.  Everything beyond that and the thoughts during the conversation is all mine.  Read and review.

Rory was shocked to see Jess come through the doors of her dorm room, especially on this particular night, the night of his mother's wedding.  But after two years, nothing that Jess did should have surprised her. 

"I need to talk to you," Jess announced ignoring Dean's presence all together. 

"Jess," Dean says as if he's about to explain something to him, something that is hard to understand.

"I _need_ to talk to you," Jess repeated with more emphasis.

"What's going on here?" Dean asked Rory like she was supposed to know.

"What are you doing here?" Rory asked him, confused and angry that Jess was once again showing up in her life for the last two times he'd shown up he'd left her shattered.  This day had been bad enough.

"Rory, please," Jess says, he seems desperate to talk, but is trying to hide it behind a stern mask and calm voice.

"Rory?" Dean asks a question in his voice, as if he was asking Rory what she wanted to do, more precisely what she wanted him to do.

Rory ran a hand through he hair nervously, "Go," she says to Dean, "Go home."

"No," Dean said plainly.

"Yes," Rory countered, "Go, you should go."

Dean left as he was told to, angrily pushing the door to the dorms as he went.

"Why won't you leave me alone?  You won't go away," Rory complained once Dean was gone.

"Rory," Jess began, but she interrupted him, "What do you want?"

"I don't know," Jess replied, not able to hold her gaze steadily, "I just…wanted to see you, talk to you…" he looked away again, his voice was tight with the emotions in his throat, "I just…"

"What?" Rory pressed.

Jess took a deep breath, "Come with me," he said simply.

"What?" Rory asked not believing what she'd heard.

"Come with me," Jess repeated more forcefully this time, as if he was now convinced this was the right thing to say.

"I don't know," he replied, "away," he said, motioning with his hand, suddenly not so sure of his plan once again.

"Are you crazy?" Rory asked, that idea seemed logical to her.  This was by far the nuttiest thing Jess had ever come up with and there had been some nutty things.

"Probably," he answered, partially convinced of that himself, "Do it.  Come with me.  Don't think about it," he told her.  Rory thought about things too much.

"I can't do that," she answered as if it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard of before she turned and retreated into her dorm room.  Jess followed her, still pleading his case.

"You don't think you can do it, but you can.  You can do whatever you want," Jess said in a rush, his heart pounding in his breast, waiting to be broken.  He should just leave now, but he couldn't without fighting a little harder.

"It's not what I want," Rory told him, she was certain that this was not it for her.

"It is," Jess insisted, "I know you," he declared.

"You don't know me," Rory protested trying to move away from him. 

Jess intercepted her path and reached out to touch her arm, "Look, we'll go to New York," he said, making a plan up out of his head, "We'll work, we'll be together, it's what I want, it's what you want too," he told her, hoping that if he made that existence attractive enough, he could make her want to be with him.

"No," Rory said flatly.

"I…I want to be with you, but not here," he gestured to her dorm room, "not Stars Hollow," Jess hated that town.  "We have to start knew," he told her, wanting desperately to convince her.

"There's nothing to start," Rory argued, not able to think of logical reasons why this was not a good idea. She knew there were about a hundred of them, but with Jess in her face, yelling at her like this.

Jess looked around the room, "But you're packed, you're stuff is all in boxes. It's perfect, you're ready," he told her, "And I'm ready.  I'm ready for this, you can count on me now.  I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now, you can!" Jess voice was beginning to crack with the intense emotion he was showing Rory.  His heart was on his sleeve, he was letting her know, like the book said.  All he wanted was reciprocation. 

"No," Rory said again, trying not to have to look at him when she said it.

Jess was not rebuked, "Look, you know we're supposed to be together.  I knew it the first time I saw you, two years ago. And you know it too, I know you do," Jess tried to appeal to their history.  They had been happy once.

"No," Rory said again, blinking at tears forming, her voice cracking a little as she continued to deny him, "No, no, no, no, no, no…"

"Don't say no just to make me stop talking or make me go away," Jess almost begged, "Only say no if you really don't want to be with me." Jess said this aloud, but to himself he said, "If you say no, I'll leave and never burden you again."

"No," Rory said, only one time.  The word echoed in his head.  Jess backed away, swallowing hard.  He wouldn't cry in front of Rory; he'd lost enough of his pride all ready.

Jess couldn't see through the tears.  Rory's rejection had actually made him cry.  He knew before he even started that Rory wouldn't go for it, but he expected a list of rational objections rather than out and out refusal.  It was cruel, he tone was actually cruel, but what could he expect after what he'd done.  He'd bailed on her twice.  Twice.  Only a first rate jerk would do that twice.

Jess sighed heavily and got into his car.  If Rory couldn't reciprocate his feelings he didn't need her. He was Jess Mariano, he didn't _need _anyone.

Yale University – Dorms

Rory was blinded by tears that fell as Jess left. He couldn't have picked a worse time to come to Yale.  First semester in the middle of finals week would have been a better time to come to Yale.

Rory couldn't believe Jess.  He wanted her to go away with him.  Now, after all this time and on a day when Dean was there and with that lousy date.  It was just like Jess to do that, to show up out of the blue like that and declare not his only his love, but his new found ability to commit to her.  And she'd rejected him, and not easily, but blatantly.  She hurt him, and part of her regretted that.

Luke's Apartment

The ringing phone jolted Luke out of a sound sleep.  It wasn't often that he got into a deep sleep like this after seeing Lorelai, which pretty much meant that he never got into a deep sleep, but tonight, for once he had. It took him a few minutes to notice that the phone was in fact ringing.

"Hello," Luke said groggily, "Yes, this is Luke Danes," he paused and listened.  "What happened?  How bad is it?" he asked his heart in his throat.

"I'll be there as soon as I get some clothes on," Luke said hanging up the phone.  "As soon as I get some clothes on…"

Luke couldn't believe it.  Jess had been fine.  He was on his way back to New York, to his apartment, why was he in an accident a few miles away from Yale University.

It came back to him then, "You have to let the other person know you appreciate them so you don't create barriers…"  Jess was hoping for reciprocation, just not his.  He was hoping for reciprocation from Rory.

Without thinking Luke dialed the phone, Lorelai had to know.  If it was as bad as the nurse said, Rory had to know.

Gilmore Residence

The phone rang interrupting the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally.  Lorelai hesitated to answer it, she didn't want any interruptions.  She didn't want this wonderful post dancing with Luke mood to perish.  She checked the caller ID built into the phone.  It was Luke.

"Hello," Lorelai answered, as casually as she could.

"Lor," Luke sounded terrible.

"Hey," she said gently, "What's wrong?"

"Hospital called, Jess was in an accident.  Unconscious and…Oh God, Lor…" Luke's voice trailed off.

"You stay there, okay; I'll be right over to the diner.  I'm going to drive you," she told him.  "I'll be ten minutes."

Lorelai changed her clothes and was about to leave when Rory nearly charged into the living room, "I am free," she proclaimed, "Free."

"Rory," Lorelai said, in shock, she didn't expect her daughter to get home so early.

"Hey, Mom," she greeted, "You'll never believe who showed up at my dorm."

"Jess," Lorelai answered, all ready knowing in her heart why Jess' car was near Yale.

"How did you…"

"Rory, Sweetie, sit down okay?" Lorelai told her.

"Mom, what is it?  What's going on?" Rory asked, taking a seat.

"Luke called," Lorelai told her, "Jess was in a terrible accident.  I was just on my way to Luke's.   Honey, he may not make it."

Rory took a deep breath, then quickly rose from her seat on the couch, "Let's go."

End Chapter One


	2. Chapter Two

Love Equal Sacrifice 2/?

Twenty minutes later Lorelai pulled up in front of Luke's Diner.  The usually focused calm man was nearly frantic with worry.  He stood in front of the diner, still in his pajama top.  He was pacing back and forth, wringing his hands.

Lorelai didn't even stop the car fully before he advanced in and leapt into the front seat, "Nice ten minutes," Luke grumbled rolling his eyes, "What took you so long?  The midnight traffic?"

"Hi, Luke," Rory said quietly from the backseat, "it's my fault we were late.  I wanted to come."

"Why?" Luke asked, "You and he didn't part…"

"I know," Rory replied, "but the accident was my fault I…I just have to make sure he's all right."

Luke fell silent and Lorelai reached over to cover his hand with one of hers, "It's going to be all right, Luke.  I promise you that."

"Oh, so now you're a psychic as well as a coffee addict," Luke snapped.

"No," Lorelai said seriously, "but I am positive."

"You be positive," Luke countered, "I'll be realistic.  Why can't you go any faster?"

"Says the man who does twenty-five on a good day," Lorelai mumbled, but sped the Jeep up a little faster.

The car was silent for the rest of the trip to the hospital except for the occasional swears word uttered by Lorelai.  Finally they arrived at Hartford Memorial Hospital.  Lorelai pulled up in front of the emergency room entrance, "Luke you and Rory go on in see what you can find out.  I'll park the truck and meet you inside."

Luke hopped out of the Jeep and handed Rory down before heading into the hospital.  As he walked in he held her hand, Luke knew more about Rory's emotions than people would believe.  He knew more about Jess' emotions than anyone and he knew that Jess' visit to U ale, the timing of Rory's arrival home, and Jess' accident were all connected.  He also knew what was going on in Rory's head.

Luke pulled on Rory's hand holding her back before entering the hospital, "Rory, you know what happened with Jess wasn't your fault right?"

"Luke," Rory sniffed, "if only I said yes, he wouldn't have been…"

Luke gave Rory a quick one armed hug, "Or you could both be in this place right now.  How would Jess feel then?"

Rory couldn't answer that, but anything had to be better than how he must be feeling now, "Come on, Luke," Rory prompted pulling away, "Let's get in there."

Luke and Rory wased through the chaotic ER until they found the reception desk, "Excuse me," Luke said to the plump red head behind the reception desk, "I'm Luke Danes, someone called me about my nephew."

"His name?" she asked turning to the computer.

"Jess. Jess Mariano," Luke answered quickly, "M-A-R-I-A-N-O."

"Ah, yes," the receptionist said, "He's in trauma room two awaiting surgery. His admitting physician should be with you shortly."

Luke's stomach knotted at the quick and attentive communications from the receptionist, but maybe it was not the unusual, Hartford Memorial was a pretty good hospital.

"May I help you young lady?" the receptionist asked Rory when she saw her standing behind Luke. 

"No," she shook her head, "I'm with him, I'm a friend of Jess'."

The woman nodded and picked up the phone to page the doctor, "Dr. Simms to Emergency, Dr. Simms to Emergency."

Luke's stomach was in knots, this receptionist was being way to accommodating.  The phone rang almost immediately and Luke and Rory watched as the receptionist listened and nodded then lifted her head to address them again, "Mr. Danes, Dr. Simms will be with you shortly.  She said if you'd like to see Mr. Mariano before he goes into surgery you can go back now."

Luke nods, "Can Rory come too?" he asked.

"Family only," the receptionist told Luke.

"What?  This girl is one of the most important things in his life…" Luke trailed off, realizing her said too much.

"But she's not a family member and the hospital policy is family member and Miss Rory is not a family mem…"

A perky brunette nurse bounded past Luke and Rory on her way behind the authorized admittance only door but stopped when she heard the receptionist call Rory by name.

"By any chance are you here to see Jess Mariano, the MVA victim?" Nurse "Perky" asked.

"Yeah, I'm his uncle and this is Rory, she's a friend," Luke said, "can _we _see him?"

"Yes, usually it is policy to only allow family members in the trauma rooms, but the only thing he's said to us since he regained consciousness has been Rory.  I think it would do him good to see her," the nurse smiled, "You can follow me."

They both followed the perky nurse to a sterile looking room.  On a table amongst blood soaked sheet was Jess.  His hair was soaked with blood or sweat, his neck was secured in a C-collar, his heartbeat, pulse, temperature and brainwaves were being monitored by the array of machines he was attached to.

"Five minutes," Nurse "Perky" warned, "then his surgeon will come to move him to the OR."

Luke took Rory's hand and squeezed it as they approached the bed where Jess lay.  Luke used his free hand to gently touch Jess' cheek, "Jess, its Luke.  Can you open y our eyes for me?"

Jess moaned and slowly opened his eyes, "Luke," he slurred, "Rory?" he asked, not seeing the trembling form behind his uncle.

"Rory took a deep breath and squeezed Luke's hand.  He was trembling himself Luke was terrified of hospitals, "I'm here, Jess." Rory said gently coming into view.  She reached up and took his hand.  Weakly, he squeezed it, "Now, I know I'm going to die," he managed to slur in between gasps for breath; his classic wry smile coming through in spite of the pain in his eyes.

"Don't you talk like that, Jess," Rory scolded gently, "The doctors are really good here; the finest in Connecticut."

"You listen to her, Jess," Luke commanded lightly, "no dying allowed."

Jess tried to nod but couldn't move his head because of the collar.  It hurt and he let out a moan in spite of his efforts.

Rory's hand shook when she heard it, Jess' face was in a taunt grimace, his breathing even more labored than before.

"Are you…is it…did they give you…are you in any pain?" Rory finally managed to ask.

"It's…not…too…bad," he managed through tightly clenched teeth, "Some of me is kind of…numb."

Luke nodded and squeezed Rory's hand, who it turn, squeezed Jess' hand, "The doctor will be here soon," Rory comforted, "they've got the good stuff."

"You hanging in there otherwise," Luke asked knowing Jess inherited his fear of hospitals.

"I'm scared, Uncle Luke," he admitted, tears in his eyes, "it hurts really bad."

"I know," Luke comforted, "just relax as best you can."

Rory absently stroked Jess' hand with her thumb in an attempt to sooth him.  She could feel the tremors under her fingers.

"All right," Nurse "Perky" announced, "the OR is ready now, so wrap it up."

A group of orderlies arrived behind her, "Okay, Jess," Rory whispered, "you hang tight and I'll be right there where you wake up," she promised.

"So will I, son," Luke assured him, "I'm here, Jess, I'm always here."

Jess smiled a bit in acknowledgement to the familiar comment and squeezed Rory's hand one last time before he was wheeled away.

Luke and Rory followed Nurse "Perky" back out to the ER waiting room where they heard Lorelai's voice shouting, "My daughter and my friend are somewhere in this hospital and somewhere in this hospital, which my great-grandfather founded, is a young man named Jess Mariano and I'd like to know where he is because that's where they are."

"Mom," Rory called, "we're here."

Lorelai rushed over the Luke and Rory, taking first her daughter in her arms then Luke then Rory again, "How is he?"

"He's really bad, Mom," Rory sniffled, "He's in so much pain.  They just took him to surgery."

"Did you talk to the doctors?  What's the operation for?" Lorelai asked.

"The ER doctor was supposed to talk to us, but he didn't come out yet," Luke told her, "I'm going to go…"

"Relatives of Jess Mariano," a short blonde haired lady called out.

"Yes," Luke said, "over here.  I'm Luke Danes, this is Lorelai and Rory Gilmore."

"I'm Dr. Simms, I'm the Emergency Room physician who treated your son…"'

"Nephew," Luke corrected, "he's my nephew."

"Right," Dr. Simms nodded, "let's go in my office and have a seat." She invited them back behind the closed door and sat behind a crowded desk.

"So, what's the matter with him?" Luke asked, "Why is he in so much pain?  Why is he going surgery?  No one told us anything."

"Luke, relax," Lorelai soothed.

"All right, first let me explain that Mr. Mariano is one very lucky young man.  Given the condition of his vehicle he should be dead. But he's not, although is injuries are quite extensive.  He had collapsed lung which hindered his breathing, but we were able to fix that in the ER.  He has at least two broken ribs, an injury to his kidneys, they are both badly bruised, that's why he's in surgery now, to try and repair the damage to his vessels.  All of these things are bad, and painful, but they will heal."

Rory listened to the litany of Jess' injuries, they did seem bad but he would recover from them.

"Our primary concern," the doctor continued, "is the damage to his spinal cord and the nerves in his back.  He was immobilized almost immediately, but has three crushed vertebrae along his waist causing…"

"Wait a minute…" Luke stopped her, "are you saying that Jess is…"

"Mr. Danes, ladies, Jess' legs…the prognosis given the nerve damage is not good.  It's likely that he'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life."

"Oh, God," Luke sighed, struggling to catch his breath, he felt like someone kicked him in the chest.  Lorelai moved to put her arms around him, only Rory spoke, "What are the percentages on that?" she asked, "What are the percentages of people who walk again after an accident like this?"

"Under 25%," the doctor replied, "especially when there is damage to the actual spinal nerve, which there is in Jess' case.  I'm very sorry, Mr. Danes, ladies."

Luke recovered from his shock and Lorelai nodded her head, "Thank you, Dr. Simms for your information.  Let's go upstairs and wait for Jess to get out of surgery."

Lorelai held Luke's hand and put her arm around Rory's shoulders as they went upstairs to the surgical waiting rooms.

"I can't believe it," Rory said softly, "I can't believe it. He's going to be…and this is all…" Finally the composure that Rory had fought for cracked and she began to cry.  Lorelai rushed to comfort her and Luke stood next to her placing a hand on the top of her head, rubbing her hair in a gesture Jess used often, "It's not your fault, Rory," Lorelai told her gently, hugging her, "You know it, Luke knows, and Jess knows it."

"I don't know it," she sobbed, "I don't know that if I had told him I'd go with him, if I had listened to him that he would have stayed and packed and never have…"

Lorelai looked at Luke confused but didn't speak, "Ssh," Lorelai soothed, "It's going to be all right, Rory.  It's going to be all right."


	3. Chapter Three

A/N:  The selections from Oliver Twist belong to Charles Dickens.  I don't own characters in the story or the aforementioned excerpt.

Six hours later, Rory paced the waiting room nervously, Lorelai rested her head on Luke's lap, and Luke tried to read a finance magazine.  One of Jess' nurses, Karen, updated them a few hours ago, but they didn't receive any news since then.

"What time is it now?" Rory groaned stopping her pacing.

"Its ten minutes later than the last time you asked me," Luke replied, "It's 6:41."

"What's taking so long…"

"Mr. Danes," a voice cut her off, "I'm Dr. Liese, and I operated on Jess Mariano."

"Yes," Luke answered, rising after Lorelai moved off his lap, "How is he?"

"Um, why don't you…"

Luke cut him off, "Whatever it is, Lorelai and Rory should hear it too.  She's his friend," he indicated Rory.

"As you wish, let's be seated," Dr. Liese invited, I'm sure Dr. Simms explained the injury to Jess' spleen and to his kidneys. We removed the spleen, the damage couldn't be repaired.  The kidney damage to his left side was also irreparable; we had to remove that organ as well.  We were able to repair his right kidney and it is functioning," the doctor explained.

"Is he awake?" Rory asked, "When can I see him?"

"He roused for a moment and asked to see you, but he's asleep again now," Dr. Liese replied.

"What about…" Luke began, "Dr. Simms said…" He couldn't force the question from his lips.

Lorelai knew what Luke wanted to know and taking a deep breath she asked quickly, "What about the spinal fracture?  How much…could you do anything for that?"

The doctor shook his head, "No, I'm afraid not.  Mr. Mariano's spinal injuries cannot be operated on at this time.  They are way too severe.   Perhaps later once his body heals and the swelling goes down a bit he'll be a candidate but now, no there's nothing we can do."

"So what exactly does that mean?" Luke asked, "What kind of effects are we looking at here?"

"Basically, we're looking at paraplegia, paralysis of the lower portion of Jess' body," the doctor replied, "the injury site is L1, 2, and 3, so his arms, and breathing won't be affected.  Dr. Camden is the staff neurologist and he'll take a look at the MRIs and C-spines and he'll be able to give you a better prognosis."

"Um," Luke's voice failed him again, "Um, does he…did you…does he know?"

Dr. Liese shook his head, "No, we never tell patients before they have surgery.  It's too risky.  We can tell hi when he wakes up, but most of the time, family members choose to deliver the news."

Luke covered his face with his hands, and Lorelai gentle ran her fingers through his hair, "Doctor, could we have some time alone.  Please?" she asked.

Dr. Liese nodded and left the trio alone.  Rory, who had been silent up until now, sat on the other side of Luke, "Luke," she said, "let me be the one to tell him."

Luke looked at Rory with surprise, "Rory, you know Jess won't take this well.  He'll get angry and lash out…"

"Luke, not with me, not anymore.  I know he won't.  Please we can't let the doctors tell him."

Lorelai smiled at her daughter.  She never approved of Rory and Jess, but she was proud of how Rory was handling the situation given her poor history with Jess.

"All right, Ror, if that's what you want to do," Luke replied, "Okay, Lor?"

"Yeah, it's okay with me.  Rory's an adult and frankly Luke, I'm not sure you'd be able to do it right now," Lorelai told him.

"Excuse me," a nurse poked her head in the door, "Jess Mariano is awake, if you'd like to go on in and see him."

Luke rose, but Lorelai gently pulled him back down, "Let Rory go and talk to Jess. He'll need you calm when she'd finished, he'll need your support.

Luke nodded, "Go ahead, Ror.  Call us if you need us."

Rory followed the plump nurse down the hall.  She  stopped just outside Jess' room, 307, "Now, be prepared, he is still disoriented from the anesthetic, but he's mostly alert.  He's also in a good deal of pain, but with the surgery we can't give him a stronger pain killer until the anesthetic wears off a bit more.  Go on now.  Buzz if you need anything. My name's Karen."  With that she left.

Carefully Rory pushed open the door and walked in.  Jess was lying on a bed covered in white sheets.  His eyes were closed, but he opened them when the door latched shut.

Rory was good in a sick room.  She didn't know that until her grandfather's near heart attack a few years ago, but it was a skill she in fact possessed.  Gently, she took Jess' hand in hers, "Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked softly.

"All right," Jess replied, his fear no longer ruling his thoughts, now his anger was doing that, "if you even care."

"Jess, of course I care," Rory countered, "Before I was shocked, confused, scared even, but that's in the past.  I'm just so sorry I hurt you.  I'm so sorry for…" her voice broke as she thought of the revelation she had to deliver and tears drifted down her cheeks.

Jess let out a long sigh. He knew her, he knew where her thoughts were headed and he had to stop that.  Slowly, he turned his head to look at her, "Rory, this was not your fault, okay?  It was my fault."

"But if only I heard you out, you…" she began again.

"No, it's was meant to be, Rory, and it was not your fault.  The accident was my fault, and you rejecting my offer was my fault, just like me leaving you those other times.  Id did it all, Rory. I caused it all by…" Jess trailed off, his strength was failing him.

"Ssh," Rory placed a finger over his lips, "hush, now.  Save your strength. What's past is past.  We have to focus on the future, on you getting well."

"What…" Jess paused for breath, the pain that had dissipated upon seeing Rory rapidly returning, "Exactly happened to me?"

"Um, well your doctors explained it to us before.  Dr. Liese was your surgeon, he seemed really smart, Jess.  Well, he said they removed your spleen and your left kidney because they couldn't fix them.  But your right kidney is fixed and kidneys are so cool, because that one will get bigger and work for both of them and…"

"Rory," Jess said to pull her out of her litany on kidneys, "I'm getting tired so…"

"Okay, sorry, Dr. Simms, she saw you in the ER, she said some of your ribs are broken and one of your lungs collapsed, but they fixed it…"

Jess moved about a bit in the bed, his face contorting in a grimace of pain, "Oh, oh God," he moaned, not able to control it.

Rory stopped talking and leaned over Jess, "Jess, I'm here.  It's okay, look at me.  Try and take a deep breath if you can and tell me what hurts."

"My…back," Jess panted, breathing fast, "legs."

"Do you legs hurt, Jess?" Rory asked, knowing it was impossible, but praying if he could feel pain there was chance.

"No," Jess groaned through his teeth, "can't move them.  They're heavy," he explained in between gasps, tears in his eyes, "feel burning."

Rory squeezed Jess' hand, and with her free hand pressed the call button, "You hold on to me, Jess.  I'm here, it's going to be okay.  Help's coming, just hold onto my hand," Rory gently coaxed while they waited for the nurse.

Jess' forehead was breaking out in a sweat so Rory used her free hand to wipe a cool cloth across his brow.  After she rewet it twice, Karen finally showed up.

"What's the trouble in here?" she asked.

"I don't know," Rory replied, "all of a sudden he was in such pain.  He says his back hurts and he feels a burning in his legs."

"Oh," Jess moaned again, "feels so hot, like fire."

"All right, Jess, hold on.  I'm giving you some Demerol in your IV, okay," Karen soothed, "It'll take the edge off."

Karen injected some medication into the IV pump in Jess' arm, while Rory held her hand and caressed it with her thumb.  After a few minutes, Jess' body visibly relaxed.

"Better?" Karen asked.

Jess nodded groggily, "Yeah, not as bad now, but…I can't…"

Jess stopped mid-sentence and his eyes glassed over with fear, "Rory, I can't move my legs.  Why can't I…oh my God! Oh, God, what's…"

"Jess," Rory felt her eyes tearing up, "Jess, Dr. Simms and Dr. Liese said…Jess, in the accident your back, you broke three vertebrae in your back and it crushed your spinal cord. It…you're …" Rory paused as she started to cry, "It paralyzed you, Jess, that's why you can't…"

Jess heard her, but he couldn't believe her.  Paralyzed.  That happened in movies and books, not in real life but as he concentrated on moving his legs, he didn't get any result, he knew it was true.

"I'm sorry, Jess," Rory sobbed, letting her feelings out, "I'm so sorry."

Jess felt like he'd been hit by a truck all over again when he heard Rory's words and saw the tears on her face.  He felt like screaming or crying he didn't know what he felt like, he only knew he had to do something to comfort Rory.

"Ror," he said softly squeezing her hand this time for her comfort instead of his, "Rory, it'll be okay.  These things are usually temporary.  I'm sure it'll clear up and I'll be as good as new," Jess comforted his steady voice breaking, "Could you do something for me?"

Rory nodded, "Of course, Jess.  Whatever you need."

"Ask Luke to come in.  He's still here right?" Jess asked hopefully.

"Of course he's here. You rest and I'll get him," Rory said patting Jess' hand.

Jess lay on the bed trying to absorb all Rory told him.  He lost a kidney, he lost his spleen, he was paralyzed…he couldn't get past that part.  He'd never walk again for the rest of his life.  He'd be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, dependent on Luke or worse, his mother for the rest of his life.  Those were very scary thoughts.

Luke appeared the in Jess' line of sight, his face taunt with worry, "Hey, Jess.  Rory said you wanted to see me."

Jess nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat, "Yeah, I wanted to let you know I was okay," he said huskily.

"Good, I'm glad," Luke replied awkwardly standing by Jess' bedside, "Are you really okay?"

Jess shrugged, "I'm in some pain, but it's not as bad.  I'm really worried about Rory, she was so upset and it's…"

"Jess," Luke cut in, "she's worried about you.  I know she told you about…about your legs…"

Jess nodded, "Yeah, and she thinks it's here fault.  It told her no, but…"

"She's…Jess, why did you go to Yale last night?" Luke asked.

Jess was getting tired, but he fought sleep for awhile to answer his uncle's question, "Reciprocation."

Luke ran a gentle hand across Jess' forehead, "I think you got it, Jess," Luke murmured, as his nephew's eyes closed, "I think you got it."

While Luke was inside visiting Jess, Rory was filling Lorelai in on her plan for taking care of Jess, "He's going to need a lot of help, Mom," she said, "He thinks it's temporary, but if it's not or until he gets better he'll need help."

"Right," Lorelai agreed, "and Luke will be there to help him, we'll be there to help him, I'm sure all of Stars Hollow will want to help him."

"But they aren't…Mom," Rory began, knowing Lorelai would not be happy with the decision, "I realized something tonight. I'm not feeling guilty because of Jess' accident."

"You aren't?" Lorelai knew where this was going.

"No, I'm feeling guilty for lying about my feelings for so long.  I should have reacted those times when he tried to tell me he loved me, because I love him, Mom.  I do."  There, it was finally out.

Lorelai sighed, "I know you do or you did, but…Rory, I don't want you making commitments or projecting feelings because you feel bed for Jess or because you think it's your fault, because it's…"

"It is my fault, Mom, because I always judged him, I never heard him out, I blocked him out, but that ends today.  Jess is going to need a lot of help and support to get well, the kind only I can give him," Rory explained, "I'm going to give it to him, be there for him."

"Rory," Lorelai sighed, "you can't make this your sole responsibility.  Jess has Luke and me…"

"And that's great, Mom, but you'll be there with me, not instead of me.  I'm going to make it up to him, Mom.  I have to make it up to him or…or I'll never be able to live with myself."

Rory's voice held such conviction, her stance such determination; Lorelai knew it would do no good to argue with her. Perhaps, when he was stronger Jess would make her see she didn't have to be his sole caregiver, but for now Lorelai saw it as best to let it alone.

Lorelai gave Rory a strong hug, "It'll all work out, Babe.  You'll see."

"I hope so, Mom," Rory replied, "When we worked together, Jess and I made a good team."

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah, you did, when he stayed put."

"He's changed, Mom.  I know he did.  He was telling the truth before," Rory replied.

"I hope he was, Kid," she replied, pulling out of the hug when she saw Luke come out of Jess' room.

"How's he doing?" Rory asked.

"He's sleeping.  His nurse said he should be out until about one or two and that we should head home and change," Luke informed them.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. We're all tired, we could all use showers," Lorelai agreed.

"Yeah," Rory nodded, "let me just say goodnight to Jess."

Rory disappeared behind the doors and Luke moved to hold Lorelai, "Thank you so much for everything."

"My pleasure, Luke," she whispered, into his shoulder, "How is he really?"

"He's asleep.  He was in some pain, but they gave him medication so he's asleep," Luke replied, "How's she?"

"Determined to make it up to him, to take care of him herself," Lorelai replied.

"We'll work it out, Lor," Luke replied, giving Lorelai another squeeze, "It'll work out."

Luke and Lorelai clung to each other in the hospital corridor, each reassured by the other's firm presence, while in a small hospital room, Rory made a similar promise to Jess sleeping form, "It'll work out, Jess," she said gently kissing his temple, "It'll all work out."

Rory pulled away from Jess' bed just as his eyes fluttered weakly opened, "Rory…" he said weakly, "Rory, I'm scared."

Rory took Jess' hand again, "Scared of what?"

"I hate hospitals," he whispered, fighting exhaustion to stay awake, "I'm alone."

"Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep again?" Rory offered, "Then I'll only go home to shower and I'll come right back."

Jess nodded tiredly, "In my pants pocket," he murmured, his eyes drifting closed as Rory rummaged through the patient's belongings bag coming up with a battered copy of Oliver Twist.

"What part Jess?" Rory asked, she could start anywhere, Jess knew the book by heart.

"Dodger," he moaned shifting a little on the bed, keeping his eyes closed as he tried to get comfortable.

Rory flipped to the page in the book where Oliver encounter the Artful Dodger for the first time. 

In a fake cockney accent she began, "'_Hullo, my covey? What's the row?' _

_The boy who addressed the inquiry to the young wayfarer was about his own age, but one of the queerest looking boys that Oliver had ever seen.  He was a snub-nosed, flat-browed, common-faced boy enough, and as dirty a juvenile as one would wish to see…"_

Rory paused in her ready when the door opened and Luke poked his head in, "Rory, you coming?"

"Um, Jess needs me a little longer," Rory replied, "When you get back I'll head home."

Luke nodded, knowing jess inherited his fear of hospitals, "I'll only be a couple of hours," he replied.

"Take your time," said Rory before returning to the book, "_and as dirty a juvenile as one would wish to see, but he had about him all the airs and manners of a man…"_


	4. Chapter Four

A/N:  The doctor treating Jess and his family some may recognize as characters from the WB Monday night series 7th Heaven.  I do not own those characters or those of Gilmore Girls'.  I would not classify this as a crossover per se, but Matt Camden and his wife will be used.  Possibly some other Camdens, but they are support characters, they are not central to the plot.

I love both of these shows and want to tie them in.  For this purpose Matt and Sarah have moved to Hartford to do their medical interships.

Chapter Four

Such was the way of it. Day in and day out Rory would sit by Jess' bedside and read to him or talk to him as he slowly began to regain his strength.  His lung was healing as were the incisions from the surgeries performed to remove his spleen and kidney. Even the pain from his broken ribs lessened as the days wore on.  It was the spinal injury that was the most worrisome, the longest lasting and it was the pain of the misfiring nerves and the spinal fractures that caused him lasting pain.

Three days after the accident, Rory sat with Jess in the similar position she'd sat in the last few days.  She was on a chair next to the hospital bed, her feet propped on the edge of the bed near Jess' hips, a book, this time _The Sun Also Rises _open on her lap.  The door opened as she finished the third chapter and a tall handsome doctor walked into the room, "Hello, Jess.  How are you feeling today?" the young man asked.

"Pain's getting better," Jess replied shifting in the bed, "I'm not as tired."

"Good," the doctor replied, "that's really good.  You must be Rory.  I'm Dr. Camden, Dr. Matt Camden."  He extended his hand.

"Yes, I'm Rory Gilmore," Rory confirmed, "It's nice to meet you, Dr. Camden.  I've usually been home when you come here."

"Yes, usually I've spoken to Mr. Danes and once I've had the pleasure of your mother," Dr. Camden smiled, "So Jess, let's take a look at those legs of yours."

"Look all you want," Jess murmured, "they ain't going to do nothing for you."

"That's not the right attitude, Jess," Rory soothed, "you have to believe you can get better and then you have to do it."

"I admire her spirit, Jess," Dr. Camden praised, "My father would have said something very similar."

"Cock-eyed optimist your father?" Jess asked.

"No, but he's a minister, so I'd say he's just cock-eyed," Dr. Camden smiled.

"Should I leave?" Rory asked, rising from her chair, when she saw Dr. Camden was about to pull bag Jess' covers.

"No. Yes." Dr. Camden and Jess said simultaneously.

Dr. Camden was sensitive to his patient's wishes and did not want to upset the young man.  He could understand that his patient did not want his paralyzed legs exposed to the view of his lovely young lady friend.  He probably hadn't told her about the tremors yet or the horrible burning or freezing sensations that rocked his body at times from the severe nervous injury. 

"I'll just be outside," Rory said softly, excusing herself leaving Jess alone with his doctor.

Dr. Camden pulled the thin sheet off Jess' legs and started to run his instruments up and down his calves and thighs, "Anything?" the young doctor asked.

"No," was Jess' strangled response.

"Nothing?  Or something you don't want to tell me?" Dr. Camden asked.

"No," Jess shook his head, "it's just really cold with not sheet at all on."

Dr. Camden nodded, "Jess, what happens if I put the blanket and the sheet over your legs?"

"Don't," Jess said, more asking than telling, "then it feels like burning."

Dr. Camden nodded, "Jess, I'd like to run this by our attending physician, Dr. Davis.  He's got more experience with this type of injury.  As you know, I'm only a doctor in training so…"

Jess nodded, "Whatever you think is best, Doc.  So, what's the prognosis so far?  Am I ever going to walk again or is it veggie man for me?"

Dr. Camden sighed, "Um, with the type of injury you sustained I'd say that you'd have a long hard road ahead of you is you did try to learn to walk again.  You'll have to begin strengthening your leg muscles right away if you do want to try and with the tremors and the pain…" Dr. Camden shook his head sadly.

Jess swallowed, "I want to try.  I at least want to try."

"All right," Dr. Camden agreed, "I'll confer with Dr. Davis and after he gives his opinion, if we don't feel it will cause further damage, we'll start you on a regimen."

Jess smiled at Dr. Camden for the first time since they've met, "Thank you," he sighed, "Could you ask Rory to come back in?"

Dr. Camden nodded, "Absolutely.  She's special to you, is she?" He winked.

Jess nodded, "Very much so."

Dr. Camden left and Rory came back in. She smiled when she looked down at Jess, but her smile soon turned into a frown.

"What's wrong?" Jess asked her concerned.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Then why the long face?" Jess asked.

Rory shrugged and sat back down, "Want me to read some more.  You look like you're getting tired."

Jess nodded, "I am.  The medication makes me groggy," Jess swallowed.  "While I take my nap, you go home, get some rest yourself."

"You don't want me to sit with you?" Rory asked.

"Luke will be by after lunch and you and I have a dinner date tonight right?" Jess confirmed.

"Yes, but what if…"

Jess cut her off, "Rory, you need to rest.  I've been selfish asking you to stay here so late every night.  I'm getting used to being in this place and I better stay used to it if I'm going to learn to walk again."

Rory frowned again, "Jess, you shouldn't get your hopes up.  The doctors…"

"Screw the doctors!" Jess snapped, "The doctors don't know me or my body, all they know is their books.  I know I'm going to walk again!  I believe it! I believe it with all my heart," Jess told Rory.

"Jess," she sighed, "the reality is your spinal cord, the nerves are damaged, nerves don't regenerate like skin or bone, Jess…"

"Shut up," Jess snapped again, "I don't want to hear this.  I'm going to walk again.  I have to believe that Rory.  It's not what I want, it's what I need.  If I don't believe that…" Jess stopped and took a deep breath, his body spasmed in a wave of pain

"Jess?" Rory leaned over him, she knew the signs of the muscles spasms in his back and how painful they could be. Slowly, she reached for his hand and tried to hold it, but he pulled it away, and through clenched teeth, he ordered, "Get out."

"Jess, hold my hand, I know it hurts," Rory tried to soothe.

"Leave me alone, get out!  If you don't believe in me, then I don't want you here," he snapped before letting out a moan, "Oh, God.  Get out!"

Rory could see her presence was only upsetting Jess so she turned and quickly left his hospital room.  Luke was on his way in to Jess' room when he saw Rory fly out of it.

"Rory?" He caught her arm to stop her.

"I have to go, um…" she stuttered, "Jess wants me to go."

Luke was confused, "What?  Why?"

"He just…Luke you better go to him.  He's in terrible pain again."

Luke nodded and started for Jess' room after squeezing Rory's arm in comfort, while Rory headed for home and the comfort of her mother's arms.

Luke entered Jess' hospital room to find the young man in physical and emotional pain.  He lay against the pillows, crying out, his hand trying to find the call button, but he couldn't move over as far as he needed to to reach the button.

"Hey, hey," Luke said softly, "Take it easy."

"Luke?" Jess looked at his uncle, pain clogging his mind.

"I'm here; I'm going to get the nurse.  You just lie there, let the pain go, Jess," Luke coaxed, brushing a hand through his hair, "let it go."

Jess tried to do his pain management, deep breathing and focusing while Luke continued to make gentle circles on the top of his head.  Eventually a nurse came in and gave Jess some strong medication.  Luke held Jess' hand until the pain eased.

Luke hated hospitals.  He was afraid of them, just like Jess was, but now that Jess was in one and would be for at least another week or two, he had to get used to them.  He loved this boy like a son, he didn't want to have to come and see him in a hospital, but he wouldn't let his fear of the hospital prevent him from seeing him.

"Better?" Luke asked when Jess' breathing evened out, but he received no answer.  Luke looked down at the young man in the bed, he couldn't answer him. He was all ready asleep.

Rory got home and saw Lorelai sitting on the sofa.  Lorelai turned when she heard the front door slam and ran quickly to Rory when she saw her daughter standing just inside the doorway, shaking and crying.

"Rory, what is it, Sweetie?" Lorelai asked gently holding her daughter against her, rocking slightly.

"It's Jess," she sobbed.

"What about him?  Is he worse?  Did something go wrong?" Lorelai asked concerned.  She knew how deeply Rory cared for Jess and he was starting to grow on her as well.

"No, he's the same, but…" Rory took a deep breath, "He…he thinks he's going to get better, Mom.  He thinks he's going to walk again. I know he won't and I tried to tell him, but…"

"Oh, Rory," Lorelai sighed, "Rory, that is a lot of hard truth for Jess to take, Kid.  He has to deal with the problem with the hope that it will work out for the best, that's the only way, Hon.  He'll come around to the reality, but…you can't force it on him."

"I know that, but, it hurts so much to see him and if he tried the therapy, all the pain, physical and emotional pain he'll go through, and I'll know it's for nothing, Mom," she sobbed, crying harder.

"I know, Baby, but you'll have to be there for him, to help him.  And when you go back to Yale in the fall, if he still needs someone, I'll help him and Luke, and you on weekends.  It'll work out, you'll see."

"He told me to get out, Mom.  He shouted at me and told me to leave him alone," Rory continued, "and he was having one of those cramps or something, but he kept shouting at me to get out.  So I finally did."

"Ah, Sweetie," Lorelai soothed, "he was upset that's all.  And you are very tired.  What do you say, you take a shower, take a nap, then you and I can watch a movie or something. Willy Wonka?  You and Jess might need a night's break from each other."

Rory sniffed and nodded, "That's a good idea, Mom.  But could you call Luke later and see how Jess is doing?"

"Sure can," Lorelai assured her, "Now go on. We've got oompaloompa's to watch."

Rory kissed her mother's cheek and headed up the stairs to the bathroom.  She stopped half way up the steps and turned to look at Lorelai who was heading back to the couch, "Mom?'

"Yeah, Babe," Lorelai replied.

"I love you," Rory said then continued walking up the steps.

"Ditto," Lorelai thought to herself, before settling back on the sofa to await a movie night with her baby girl.


	5. Chapter Five

After Jess' outburst that day, Rory's visits to the hospital lessened.  She still went everyday but she didn't spend as much time there as she had been.  Her excuse was he was getting better and used to the hospital.  It was a valid point, but did little to diminish Jess' pain at her absence.

It was now almost two weeks after the accident that injured and crippled Jess and Dr. Liese was talking to Luke and Jess about releasing Jess from the hospital.

"I'm going to need to examine him once a week, until all of the surgical would heals completely and I know the renal specialist will want to check him until we make sure that one kidney is functioning at its peak performance," Dr. Liese explained.

Luke nodded and recorded all the information on a note pad.  Jess cleared his throat, "What if the one kidney doesn't work right?  Then what?"

"Usually," Dr. Liese said, "When the remaining kidney is healthy, that's not a concern. However, if for some reason it becomes the case, we'll perform a transplant."

Jess nodded, 'But those can take forever, right?"

"Kidney transplants are most common from relatives but if no relative matches, it can take awhile."

Luke had a question now, "So when are you letting me him out of here? I'll need some time to prepare the place to accommodate…"

"Mr. Danes," Dr. Liese cut Luke off, "Jess spoke extensively with Dr. Camden and with Dr. Davis.  He expressed his desire to check into a rehabilitation hospital." The doctor looked at Jess, "I take it you didn't discuss this with your uncle."

Jess shrugged, "I was getting to it, but by the time he gets here, I'm so tired of arguing about it, I never brought it up."

Luke nodded, "Well, I'll want to speak to Dr. Camden before we determine that.  When would that be happening?"

"Well, Jess, Mr. Danes, we've done about all we can do here.  You've healed well from the surgeries, the broken ribs are healing, the cuts and bruises are healing nicely.  I'd say I'd be ready to kick you out of here in a day or two," Dr Liese determined.

Jess smiled, "Wow!  That's unbelievable."

Dr. Liese rose, "Dr. Camden will be in a while to discuss therapy options with you.  I'll see you tomorrow, Jess. Mr. Danes."

After the doctor left, Luke turned to Jess, "So, why didn't you tell me about the rehab?"

Jess shrugged, "Cause," he replied.

"Because why?" Luke countered.

"Knock! Knock!" Lorelai called as she walked in Jess' hospital room, "Hey, Lukey.  Hey, Jess."

"Don't call me Lukey," Luke growled at her.

"Hey," Jess replied, "you solo?" He watched the door for a sign of Rory.

Lorelai shook his head, "Nope.  Rory's hitting the ladies room.  She'll be in here in a minute."

Lorelai took a seat by Jess' bed.  Since the accident that nearly killed him and did cripple him, she'd learned for Luke's sake and Rory's to tolerate Jess and found in doing so how much he'd really changed.  Jess talked more now, he was more attentive and communicative.  Still, he clamed up when he had his feelings hurt or was angry about something, but at least one could hold a conversation with him without wanting to throttle him now.

Jess smiled.  He missed the days before he argued with Rory when she'd sit with him, read to him, hold his hand and coax him through long minutes of mind numbing pain, which still plagued him.  If only she understood.  If only he understood.  They had to have a serious talk when he got out of the hospital.  They had to talk about her sudden change of heart and his new commitment to her, the commitment he planned to make to her when he could walk again.

"Hey, Jess," Rory greeted with a huge smile, "Look what I brought?" She held up a book, Ernest Hemingway on Fishing.

Jess smiled, "Wow!  Come here," he smiled and kissed her cheek when she leaned over him, "I've got some news," he declared smiling.  He couldn't stop smiling.

Lorelai spoke, "You look happy.  Must be good."

"It is. I'm finally getting out of here in two days," Jess proudly announced.

"That's great!" Rory cried, "That's wonderful.  I know you were really getting anxious to get out of here."

Lorelai looked over at Luke. Luke could read the question in her eyes.  Before anything more could be said, Dr. Camden entered.

"Well, the gang's all here," he greeted, "Dr. Liese said he's going to release you in a few days.  Congratulations."

"Thanks," Jess smiled and continued to hold Rory's hand.

"That brings up a whole other issue," Dr. Camden began, "Um, would you all excuse us while I examine Jess.  Then we'll discuss our options.

The three of them filed out and stood in the hallway.  Luke knew Jess and Rory argued over his prognosis, so he felt it best to warn her, "Um, just to give you both a heads up, Jess is thinking about going to a rehab facility," Luke told them.

Lorelai smiled, "That's great.  Maybe he'll be able to walk again after all."

"Lorelai," Luke sighed, "We…heard the same doctor's report.  There' no chance…"

"You can't take away his hope Luke," Lorelai said, "He needs to keep his spirits up."

"Mom," Rory said, "I'm with Luke. Dr. Davis said with Jess' injury there is no significant chance Jess will ever walk again. Luke doesn't want him, I don't want him to use so much of his strength trying to do something that can't be done."

Luke nodded, "I do agree with Rory.  Jess will need all his strength for day to day things. He won't want to be dependant on me or Rory for that matter."

"Luke," Rory sighed, "you know I won't think of it like that.  I want to take care of Jess, help him as much…"

Luke gave Rory's arm a squeeze, "I know that Rory."

"So do I, Kiddo," Lorelai sympathized, "but I don't Jess will want that for you.  He'll want you to be free from that, his friend, not his nurse."

"I know that, but because I'm his friend, I'll gladly be his nurse," Rory told her mom and Luke.

"Well, Rory, those rehab places teach independence too," Luke said, "maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea.  Maybe they can teach him to do things without exhausting himself."

Rory nodded, "Did you see him yesterday after he tried to turn himself over. He slept for three hours."

Lorelai sighed.  She could see the severity of Jess' condition was tearing Rory apart, it was tearing Luke apart to watch him fight.  Yet her own heart swelled with pride at how hard he was indeed trying.

"Well, let's see what Dr. Camden has to say.  Maybe a little hope wouldn't hurt," Luke said, leaning over to gently kiss Lorelai's brow.

While Luke, Lorelai, and Rory argued about Jess' rehab, Dr. Camden finished examining Jess, "And how's the pain and cramping?"

"Bearable mostly, but at night, excruciating. And that weird hot and cold is getting very annoying.  Luke put socks on my feet yesterday and it was okay, but when he took them off, it felt like they were immersed in a bucket of ice."

"Well, the medication should help with that.  Now, let's call the family back in and discuss your therapy option," Dr. Camden said opening Jess' hospital room door, "All right, you can come back in now."

Luke, Lorelai, and Rory filed in and were seated, "Well, the good news is Jess will officially be released from the hospital on Friday. What we need to address is where to go from here."

Luke nodded, "Jess expressed a desire to try rehab."

"Yes, Jess and I have talked about his prognosis, therapy options, but you're all his family and so I'm going to go over the prognosis, my and Dr. Davis' recommendations, and the rest of the options," Dr. Camden explained.

Rory asked the next question, "What about the pain?  Jess…"

"Let me explain first where we are, then if you're still having questions, we'll go back over it.  First, thing to understand are there are two types of spinal injuries, complete and incomplete.  Jess' injury, both the complete breaks at L1, L2, and L3 and the slip fracture at T10, T11, and T12.  The spinal nerve here got pinched in the bone fragmentation, thus leading to the paralysis below that point. Everyone with me so far?"

They nodded so Dr. Camden continued, "Jess' injury is what we classify as a complete injury.  Now, it is often assumed that a complete injury means that the spinal cord has been cut in two. This is not true! Instead, a complete injury is one in which no nerve messages are able to get past the injury at the time the examination is done. For example, no sensations can be felt below the injury because the messages cannot get to the brain and no voluntary movement is possible because the messages cannot get from the brain to the muscle. If even one nerve fiber is still able to carry messages past the injured area, the injury is incomplete.  That is of course not the case here."

"Is there any sort of surgery that you can do to fix the injury so the nerves work again?" Lorelai asked.

Dr. Camden shook his head, "Not right now, unfortunately, but knew treatments and things are being discovered all the time, so…"

Jess sighed.  He was getting frustrated with all this talk, "Doc, is there any chance of me walking again?  What are my chances here?"

Again, Dr. Camden sighed, "Well, the severity of the injury determine whether or not recovery will occur.  There is not definite medical test that tells us about recovery chances, so the best we can do is an educated guess.  Patients with incomplete injuries, have a much greater chance of recovery than patients with complete injuries.  That is not to say that no patient with a complete injury ever recovered some voluntary sensation and movement, but it's a lot less likely."

Jess gasped and Rory reached out to hold his hand.  She knew how hard this was for him to hear, "But the hard I work the better my chances right?" he asked, his voice tight.

"No, I'm afraid not.  No amount of hard work can make a nerve cell regenerate, Jess.  Therapy does not cause recovery, the therapy and recovery sometimes occur simultaneously because the majority of recovery occurs within the first three months and the therapy is done within the first three months.  I'm sorry I don't have better news for you Jess," Dr. Camden frowned.

Jess swallowed hard and nodded, "Thanks for being honest with me."

"There's more," Dr. Camden said, "some of the peripheral nerves were damaged as well.  That is what is causing the temperature shocks and the tremors."

"Tremors?" Rory looked at Jess confused. "You never mentioned anything to me about tremors? Luke?"

Luke shook his head, "This is the first I'm hearing of it."

"What can we do about it?" Lorelai asked.

"Well, I've given Jess some medications to help deal with it and give him some relief.  Jess' spinal cord is not completely severed and he may have some sensation in the lower extremities.  The tremors are involuntary muscle spasms which often occur.  The meds should reduce their frequency."

Rory sighed and tightened her grip on Jess' hand, "What about the pain?"

Again Dr. Camden sighed, "Well, paraplegics can experience five different types of pain and each has it's own cause and it's own treatment.  Only three of these can really explain the pain Jess is experiencing, and we've all ready ruled our nerve compression, which leaves only two other possible causes," Dr. Camden explained, and I fear Jess is experiencing  both of them."

"Well," said Rory, "What can we do about it?  I can't…"

Dr. Camden cleared his throat, "Well, one type is related to mechanical instability of the spine, perhaps produced by incomplete healing of the fracture. This pain is made worse by sitting or moving, and is usually decreased by lying in one position or another. We can document the instability by the appropriate x-ray tests, and it's usually directly treatable by either external or internal stabilization.  Part of Jess' pain probably is due to the fact that he does have six separate spinal fractures, three of which are complete.  This pain should go away when the fractures completely heal, but if not a back brace or surgical intervention can relieve it."

"Well that's good," said Lorelai, "will we have to wait long to see how it heals?"

"Six weeks to determine if we have to operate," Dr. Camden replied, "but unfortunately, that's the good news.  There's another cause for Jess' back and leg pain and this one comes from the injury to the spinal cord itself, and I'm sorry to say, it is very difficult to treat," Dr. Camden explained, "Unfortunately it is also constant so it cannot be relieve by position or activity, but it can be complicated by one or both of the other causes of pain. So, if the fractures do cause lasting trouble and we have to operate, we can fix some of it."

"Some of it," Jess groaned, "What about fixing all of it?  This is getting a little old."

 "There are several options to try and treat this pain, and Jess, since unfortunately this is what's causing those shooting pains and throbbing sensations.  There are some oral drugs we can try to relieve it, usually localized anesthetics but if that does not work, we can deliver the medication through an intrathecal pump for long term pain management," Dr. Camden locked eyes with his patient, he was no sure is Jess had fully accepted the reality of his situation yet. "We are looking at the long term Jess, Dr. Davis and I recommend the pump in a situation like yours.  Especially since the mexiletine is already not having the desired effect, neither is IV Demerol.  It is of course up to you."

Jess immediately shook his head, "No, I don't want that.  I don't…"

"Jess, if it'll help you get free from that pain…" Rory began to reason.

"No," he repeated firmly, "I'll live with the pain if I have to.  I won't live the rest of my life in a wheelchair."

Luke let out a long sigh, "Jess, you heard what Dr. Camden said about…"

"Not you too!!" Jess snapped, "Whatever happened to 'I'm always here,' huh?"

Luke stopped talking and stared at Jess, hurt in his eyes.  Lorelai saw it there.  She saw it in Rory's eyes.  They both loved Jess, they wanted to protect him from pain, frustration and disappointment.  She looked at Jess' eyes.  She saw pain there too.  Luke and Rory were the only ones who ever gave him a chance now to have them doubt him…Lorelai knew this situation ws highly charged and needed intervention, "Doctor, is this spinal catheter thing the only option you can offer, or just the preferred one?"

"In Jess' condition, it is the preferred one," Dr. Camden answered, "but we can try to increase the oral medications and try opiates.  There are also pain management techniques you can do without drug therapy, but like I said, the catheter is the most preferred and most successful option."

"Well, you see," Lorelai comforted, "at least try the other things first."

Jess smiled at Lorelai, who for once was on his side, then turned his gaze to Dr. Camden, "What about my therapy?"

"Well, there's inpatient and outpatient therapy. Some patients benefit from their home environment, being with the family and friends everyday.  Dr. Davis and I recommend a two week period of intense physical therapy, to get you some independence Jess, and then continue outpatient physical therapy and occupational therapy."

Rory smiled, "That's great, Jess. That way we can go to the bridge and read together and talk.  You won't be cooped up in a hospital with all the sunshine."

Jess kissed the hand he held and Dr. Camden rose from his seat, "Dr. Davis and I will make the arrangement to have you transferred to St. Barbara's.  I'll leave you now, and I'll check back with you later Jess."

Lorelai caught Luke's eyes and nodded her head to one side, "Luke, let's get some tea and coffee and leave these two kids alone for a bit."

Luke rose and followed Lorelai out. He knew Jess and Rory had some talking to do.

Once they were alone, Jess turned to Rory, "Rory, I have to ask you a question.  I was going to wait until I got out of the hospital, but I have to know now," Jess began.

"Okay," Rory said hesitantly, "Shoot."

"Well, the night of the accident, I went to talk to you, I never mentioned why I really was there.  I…" Jess took a deep breath; this was so hard to say. "I went there to tell you something, not to say that nonsense about running away with me. I know that scared you and you didn't understand where it came from…but, I was so scared too Rory."

"Jess, don't…you don't have to be scared anymore," Rory said gently.

"Rory, I'm not a baby, just hear me out," Jess told her still holding her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb.  "I was scared to tell you I loved you just to have you reject me, so I did something, asked you something I knew you would reject so I could be prepared, so I wouldn't be hurt.  But I was, because I wanted you to leave with me, I wanted to be with you then and I do now."

Rory sniffed and used her free hand to wipe away a tear that had escaped from her eye, "I want that too Jess, but I want it in Stars Hollow, with my Mom and Luke, not off in New York…"

"Rory, will you stop talking so I can finish this, I'm not good at…" he trailed off, "I love you, Rory. I'm not scared to say that anymore.  And I know that you don't love me like I do you but…"

Rory pressed a finger to Jess' lips and squeezed the hand she held in hers, "Jess, for someone like you who's so smart, you sure do say a lot of dumb things," Rory laughed, "Of course I love you.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't"

"Then you're not…you're not here out of pity then?" he asked looking at his legs.

Rory shook her head, "No," she said confidently leaning over to kiss Jess' slightly parted lips, "No."

"Rory," Jess continued after kissing her once more, "I know you don't think I'll be able to get out of a wheelchair ever again,"

"Jess, I just don't want you to upset yourself. But if you want to fix this," she gestured to his legs, "I'll be with you.  I love you, Jess."

Jess kissed Rory again, "I love you, too, Rory," he affirmed, as she rested his head against his shoulder.  "I love you too."


	6. Chapter Six

Sorry I took so long to update. It won't be so long next time.

Special thanks to my beta, Lydia.  Great job!  You're the best.

The morning of Jess' transfer to the rehab hospital Rory arrived at the hospital early. She wanted to be there when the ambulance came to move him, just in case he needed her.

"Good morning," she greeted cheerfully when she saw Jess was awake.

"Is it?" Jess grumbled, closing his eyes.

"Of course it is," Rory replied, "The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and you are finally getting out of this hospital."

"Oh yeah," Jess mumbled. "Jump for joy."

By now Rory had seen many sides of Jess.  It was as if he had a number of different personalities that surfaced at various times in various situations, making him able to cope, to process. Given his history, Rory understood that. The early days of Stars Hollow saw a lot of angry Jess. Then, there was sweet and romantic Jess who showed up at the weirdest times and usually when she least expected it, the Bracebridge Dinner, the basket auction, after the car accident among other times.  There was grumpy and moody Jess who tended to show up at the most inopportune times, her grandmother's house, before prom…and there was even desperate Jess who arrived after they'd had a fight or when he had something really important to say.  The Jess Rory saw now was none of those, this was a new Jess, a Jess she couldn't read at all.

Rory studied him in the bed.  He didn't look at her, he looked at the wall, eyes now closed.    He seemed defeated, unaware of the significance of the move from hospital to rehab. Rory was afraid of this, afraid she was seeing what Dr. Camden warned her, Luke, and her mother about.  She was afraid this might be depressed Jess.

Rory sighed and recalled the conversation they'd had a few days ago.  Dr. Camden  consulted with Dr. Davis on transferring Jess and he had asked to speak with the family members in private.

_"I've been successful in making the arrangements  to move Jess to St. Barbara's facility for rehabilitation.  He can work there as an in patient as long as necessary for his recovery," Dr. Camden explained.  "They do accept most forms of insurance as payment also, so it shouldn't be a concern."_

_Luke let out an audible sigh of relief.  He had been worrying about his ability to pay for Jess' care, the insurance would help a great deal._

_"I must warn all of you," Dr. Camden continued, "I've seen paralysis before personally and it affects more than the body.  The mind and spirit are equally affected."_

_"You mean like depression?" Lorelai asked.  She'd seen people go through that and knew how it impacted their loved ones as deeply as it did the person it affected._

_Dr. Camden nodded, "I mean depression, denial, anger, withdrawal, and a whole manner of different emotions.  When Jess realizes this is real, it will impact him very severely."_

_"With all due respect," Luke said, "He all ready knows it's real.  He knew he can't move his legs."_

_"I know what you mean," Rory spoke quietly, "to listen to Jess, he's going to recover fully, walk again.  When he realizes that is not true…"_

_"Exactly, Rory, thank you.  When Jess realizes the permanency of his condition it will break his spirit.  It always does, and the burden of fixing that crack will inevitably fall on the shoulder of friends and family."_

_Dr. Camden had gone on to describe the warning signs, quietness, lack of appetite, lack of communication, loss of eye contact, lack of enthusiasm, excessive tiredness or sleeplessness.  Rory saw some of these now._

"Jess," she began, "Are you all right?"

Jess could read Rory's tone so well.  She was worried about him.  And she should be.  He didn't want to go to the St. Barbara's place.  He just wanted to go home, to Luke's or wherever, he didn't want to be in the hospital and he didn't want to go to rehab anymore, he just wanted to go home.

"I want to go home," he said, deciding the truth would be the best way to stop her worry.

"I know," she said gently, moving to sit beside him on the bed, "And you can.  In two weeks you'll be able to handle…you'll be more independent, you won't even need anyone of us."

"I don't mean in two weeks Rory," Jess snapped. "I mean now."

"Jess, don't be angry with me," Rory told him. "This is not my fault."

"It's not mine either," Jess retorted.

"I know that." Rory tried to keep her self calm and gentle, "But you are going to have to accept this sooner of later, and the first step to doing that is going to this place and learning how to live on your own."

"So I will be on my own then?" Jess asked, taking her words out of context. 

"That's not…"

"No," he stopped her, "It's okay.  I should have known this was temporary.  I mean, I should have guessed that this devotion was not something to count on or anything.  It's just pity I know that, and after awhile that novelty wears off."

"Jess," Rory protested, "this is not going to work.  You are _not _going to make me feel guilty for wanting you to go to the hospital and learn how to have a normal life.  You are _not_ going to going to do that.  I feel a lot of things for you in my heart Jess Mariano, and pity is not one of them.  I love you, and I'm scared for you, but I do not pity you.  You pity yourself!"

Rory rose from the bed and turned away from him to hide the tears swimming in her eyes.  She couldn't believe for a second that Jess would think she'd abandon him.

Jess sighed, "Rory," he began gently. "I'm sorry.  That came out all wrong.  I just know that when you go back to Yale you'll have a lot more to think about than me."

Rory turned around to meet Jess' eyes, "True, when school starts up I'll have more to think about than you, but I'll still think about you, and care about you.  I did it for the entire last year and you weren't even in my life, now you are, and I want you there," she told him holding his hand in hers.

Jess smiled, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Rory nodded, "I know you are, I'm just glad you're here now," Rory leaned over and kissed his lips gently.

"Okay, break it up!" Luke announced walking into Jess' hospital room for the first time without Lorelai.

"Hey, Luke, where's my Mom?" Rory asked, sliding off of Jess' bed.

"She's back covering the diner; she thinks I'm losing too much money paying Lane and Caesar over time," Luke sighed.

"You're letting my mother work in the diner," Rory started to giggle.

 "I told her she was only allowed to take the orders. She's been managing an Inn for years. She can take orders for things," Luke commented.

"Getting defensive there, Uncle Luke," Jess cracked, just as Dr. Camden came in with the ambulance crew.

"Good morning, I see everyone is getting an early start today," he greeted. "You best get used to that.  St. Barbara's likes to work the patients out early."

Jess rolled his eyes, "Just what I always wanted to do."

"Well, great, then you can have all sorts of fun.  This is Mike and Eric. They are going to take you over to St. Barbara's.  Mr. Danes, Rory, there is also a class at St. Barbara's for the family members to take that teaches you how to be better able to assist Jess once he's home and prepare your home for him."

Luke nodded, and once of the medics spoke, "Okay, Jess, let's get you out of here.  Could you all excuse us please?"

Rory and Luke left for the hallway while the medics moved Jess into a wheelchair so that they could take him to the van the used to move patients to and from rehab.  On some level, Rory knew that Jess would be in the wheelchair for a while, if not forever, but on a whole other level she wasn't prepared to see him in one.  Before they'd gotten there, the nurses had helped him put on a some sweats so he could go to rehab in his own clothes instead of in his hospital gown, so when the medics and Dr. Camden came out, Rory got a look at Jess as he was now, as he would be perhaps for the remainder of their lives.

The chair he was in looked too big for him.  He'd lost weight in the hospital.  Rory could tell that in his face, but the way his clothes hung on him was even more of an indication of that weight loss.  His legs had always been thin, but again they seemed thinner to her now.  He sat straight with the help of two pillows propped behind his back, but looked self consciously at his knees, embarrassed to face Rory and Luke in his current position.

Luke leaned close to Rory's ear, "Act like nothing's different," he told her.

Rory bit her lip to hide the tears burning her eyelid, "That's great set of wheels there."

"Yeah, just what I always wanted," Jess quipped looking at her face.  "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just…uh, I have a headache and I'm kind of nervous about this whole rehab thing."

"Why?  I'm the one going," Jess said.

"Yeah, but there will be nurses there and they might be pretty and then you'll get all…"

"Rory, what are you talking about?" Jess asked as she started walking behind him, pushing his chair as Luke and the medics followed.

"I have no idea," she said truthfully and they both laughed.

The ride to St. Barbara's was short and when they arrived they were greeted by about five different members of the staff.

"I'm Dr. Cameron," the oldest man in group explained, "And these are Jess' nurses, Patt and Mick.  This is Jess' occupational therapist Harriet and his physical therapist Jerry."

"Wow," Rory said, "this really is personal treatment."

"Any of them making you nervous?" Jess teased.

Rory never got to answer before the medics began the task of moving Jess from the ambucar to the ground.  It was murder on Rory's spirit to watch that happen, she wanted Jess to be fine, they way he had been.  She wanted to him to be able to run and move they way he always had. She never wanted this for him. She didn't want him to be the bird in the gilded cage.

Jess looked through the hallways of St. Barbara's hospital, and was surprised at what he saw.  He saw young people, men and women not much older than him, the oldest probably about Luke's age in various stages of disability and recovery.  They were each attended to by one or two private nurses and they all seemed to be happy.  Jess wasn't sure what he'd envisioned when he and Luke talked about rehab, but this was not it.

"Let's go into room twelve, Eric, and I can get acquainted with my new patient and his family," the tall doctor instructed the younger looking medic.

Jess was wheeled to the aforementioned room 12, Luke and Rory behind him.  The medics didn't excuse the family this time before moving Jess, from their wheelchair to one owned by St. Barbara's and Rory had to battle to keep herself from crying out when she saw how helpless Jess really was.

The two medics excused themselves and left to continue their daily rounds of transfers and treatments.  That left Jess, Luke and Rory alone with St. Barbara's staff. 

"I'd like to introduce myself once again," said the tall doctor. "I'm Dr. Jesse Cameron and I'll be the physician overseeing Jess' care while he's here with us.  The staff that I've assignment to work with Jess on a very personal level once again are, Patrick Walker, Michael O'Leahy, both are registered nursed that have specialized in neurological disorders.  Harriet Chase, she'll be in charge of Jess' occupational therapy, which will include such daily tasks as dressing, grooming, so on, and finally the man of the hour Jerry Powell, who'll be Jess' physical therapist." 

Rory, Jess, and Luke studied these faces and took in the individual people as Dr. Cameron continued speaking, "St. Barbara's specialized in the rehabilitation and long term care of spinal cord injury patients.  We cater to those between the ages of 16 and 45 and generally only take patients with injuries to the spinal cord.  We feel its better this way, so our younger patients don't have competition with older patients and patients with different disorders or disabilities.  Dr. Camden's brother-in-law was a patient here for six weeks a short time ago and when he mentioned your case to me, Jess, I was intrigued."

"Intrigued?" Jess repeated, "Huh?"

"Let's just say that it is not every day I'll get a patient who actually wants to go through rehab, usually their loved ones or their doctors force them into it.  Dr. Camden said you seemed very focused and determined, both ingredients to a successful recovery.  You only get out of this what you put into it," Dr. Cameron explained.

Luke had been listening to Dr. Cameron and taking in the surroundings.  This place was great, it was exactly what Jess needed, but it would be so expensive, he didn't know if he could do it.

"Here at St. Barbara's," Dr. Cameron continued, "we like to work with the family as a team, because once Jess goes home in two weeks, you'll be as integral a part of his rehabilitation as any of us here.  That's why we'd like to get to know you."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Rory hastily apologized. "I forgot my manners.  I'm Rory Gilmore, Jess'…"

Jess reached over and took her hand, "My girlfriend," he affirmed, incase after that morning there was any doubt, "and this is my Uncle Lucas Danes."

"You go by Lucas?" Dr. Cameron asked.

"Not if I can help it. It's Luke," Luke replied shooting Jess a look.

"I like to annoy him sometimes," Jess smirked.

The doctor nodded, "Well, now is usually the time that I leave my patients with their staff members to get acquainted and establish a routine, so why don't you do that Jess.  You ultimately know what's best for your own recovery, so let these guys here know that.  Luke, Rory, why don't we adjourn to my office and discuss your part in this process?"

Luke and Rory rose from their seats, Luke patted Jess' shoulder and Rory leaned over to give him a quick kiss before they left him alone.

Jess looked at the three men and one woman before him, and felt his stomach lurch.  He had to do this thing, he knew, but he was suddenly very afraid.  He didn't know that there would be this much to learn.

The nurse named Patrick, a tall red headed man with ruddy complexion sat directly across from him, "Okay, Jess, here's how it works.  Mick and I, we are here for your medications and in the event you overdo the work out and don't feel well, other than that it's our job to be your best buds while you're here.  Harriet and Jerry, they will be your worst nightmares," he joked.

Harriet was a big woman, tall, with short blonde hair, "Every morning I'll come in about, what time is good for you?"

"I usually sleep until about ten," Jess told her tentatively.  This woman unnerved him.

"Not anymore, your options are six, seven, or eight am," she informed him.

"I'll guess we'll go with mediocrity.  Seven sounds good," Jess told her.

"Okay, then, every morning at seven I'll come in and we'll get you up, cleaned up, dressed and down to the eight am breakfast.  After that, Jerry here will proceed to make the rest of your morning that hardest day of your life.  It will long and hard and you'll beg us for mercy, but by the end of it, you'll be thankful that word isn't in our vocabulary."

Jerry was a black man, tall, lean, muscular, he smiled with bright white teeth and leaned over Jess, "My job is make sure these scrawny arms of your are hard as rocks, that the muscles in your legs stay healthy, and that you can swing you ass from this chair to the bed or to the john with less effort and more precision than Tarzan swings from a tree."

Jess listened and tried to take this all in, "All I want is to walk again.  I'll do whatever it takes."

The staff members in the room exchanged glances, all knew the prognosis, but each was delighted to hear this spirit, "All right, then.  That's what we like to hear," Harriet assured him. 

"Now, if the rest of you will excuse us," said Jerry. "Jess and I have some work to do."

The room emptied out quickly, leaving Jess alone with Jerry.  He liked Jerry, he was tough, business like, but he seemed to know his stuff.  That was all that Jess could ask for.  Wasn't it?

Meanwhile, Dr. Cameron was talking with Luke and Rory.  He sat behind a mahogany desk in a high back leather chair.  Rory and Luke saw in front of the desk in similar chairs.

"I'll get right to the point," Dr. Cameron began. "Jess is in St. Barbara's to learn to be independent.  Dr. Camden has explained the difference between complete and incomplete injuries and their recovery periods and possibilities.  What I need to talk to you two about are two things, preparation and encouragement."

"Preparation and encouragement," Rory repeated, "Got it."

Luke was in shock, he sat there and listened to Dr. Camden say it was impossible, he told Jess that himself, he'd told Lorelai that, but to hear Dr. Cameron saying it felt like a knife through the heart.

Luke cleared his throat, "What kind of preparation?"

"Well, having someone with Jess' limitations living with you takes a lot of hard work and will cause you to have to revise your lifestyle quite a bit.  Jess will need to live in a place that is all one floor or that has elevators or access to a stair lift.  He'll need a place with wide doors to all the room so his chair can fit through, he'll need to have a place with lower sinks and cabinets and with a stall shower, these are all things that people in Jess' condition need to live as independent of caregivers as possible," Dr. Cameron explained.

"I understand that," Luke nodded, "But I live above my diner on the second floor.  The place is a pit really, there's barely room…why are you shaking your head?" Luke asked when he noticed Jesse's expression.

"Luke, your place was barely able to accommodate you and Jess before," Rory told him gently, "I know I'm overstepping but you're going to have to get another place."

"I can't get another place.  That place is my place and Jess has to live with me. He can't live alone," Luke told her.  He was starting to get worried.  There was no way he could afford this hospital and a new place even with the insurance covering 75%.

"Maybe he could stay at our place.  It's bigger, the sink is really low in the kitchen and there's a stall shower in the downstairs bathroom.  I can move my room upstairs and he can have the one off the kitchen."

"Do you really want that responsibility, Rory?" Luke asked.

"Luke, Jess is in my life now, and I won't have to do it alone.  Mom will help and you're like a five minute walk from my house," Rory reasoned.

"We'd have to run this by Jess and your Mom, you know?" Luke told her.  "And it would only be temporary until I could find another place.  I won't be indebted to you and your mother."

"This is not something that has to be decided this minute, Luke, Rory," Dr. Cameron told them, "that's why I told you about it now. I know you are going to need some time to prepare, everyone does."

Luke nodded and rose from his seat, "Thanks for the warning."

Luke and Rory left the office and headed back to Jess' room to say goodbye.  The visiting hours at St. Barbara's were strict, only three hours in the afternoon and three in the evening.  All the others were for workouts.  The two walked along the hallway and when they almost reached Jess' room, Rory was sure she heard Jess' voice.

Luke felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach when he looked at Rory's face.  She broke into a run and charged into Jess' room.  It had been Jess' voice she'd heard.  He was lying across the bed, a large man bent over him manipulating his legs in all sorts of position. Rory took in the scene and saw Jess was perspiring profusely, gritting his teeth against the pain.

"What are you doing?" Rory demanded, rushing to Jess' side pulling him against her chest, gently smoothing the hair off his forehead. "It's all right, Jess, I'm here," she whispered.

"Dr. Camden warned us about his condition, the fractures and the pain, but we have to…" Jerry began to explain.

"I'm not interested in have to," Rory shot as she held Jess. "Jess, just try to take deep breaths okay.  Let it go, Jess, let the pain go."

"It hurts so much," he managed through clenched teeth.

"I know, Jess, I know," Rory said in a sing song voice as if she were speaking to a little child who was waking up from a nightmare. "I know."

Luke couldn't take it. He couldn't take seeing that.  This was the reason he hated hospitals, he hated seeing the pain and suffering, even in this one which was supposed to help and heal.  He had to get out of there, he had to get away.

Luke got in his truck and drove without stopping or slowing directly to the diner, where Lorelai seemed to have everything running smoothly.  She was refilling Miss Patty's cup when he came in shaking from the information and the scene he'd forced his brain to process.  He'd seen what was happening in that room and he wanted to knock the therapist on his ass, yet he knew it was for Jess' own good.

Lorelai saw Luke walk in practically shaking and hurried to him, "Luke, what's wrong?  What happened?"

"Nothing," he swatted her hand off his arm, "I'm fine."

"You're shaking," Lorelai countered.

"I said I'm fine," he snapped taking the coffee pot from her hand and began refilling cups himself.  "Go home."

"You need to rest, Luke, you've been running around, let me help you," she tried to reason with him, but Luke was closed to reason.

"I said go home, I don't need your help."  With that he ignored her, and went back to work.  Wounded Lorelai walked out of the diner and down the street.  This thing with Jess was going to break Luke.  She knew it.  He was so strong, so helpful, but this was going to break him.  Each time something happened to someone he cared about, it chipped at him a little, and then he fixed it.  But he couldn't fix this, and it would break his soul.  And she'd be there to glue it back together.  She had to be.

End Chapter Six


	7. Chapter Seven

A week later, Rory arrived at the hospital earlier than usual. Generally she'd go around one in the afternoon with Lorelai and again around seven at night with Luke. Over the last few days though, by the middle of the evening visit, Jess was either in too much pain to enjoy the company or too exhausted to stay awake until the nine o'clock cut off.

Visiting hours usually began at six but since Rory was helping Luke in the diner for some extra cash for the school year, she waited until he turned things over to Caesar and rode with him. Luke needed his hand held anyway, and Lorelai had to be at the Inn most nights. Tonight, though Rory had off and Lorelai had off, so Rory decided to go to the hospital early to visit Jess.

It was 5:55 pm when she arrived at Jess' door to find it was still closed. A closed door at St. Barbara's meant two things, therapy or sleep. Since it was so close to six and Jess had been putting his back into it literally all day, she assumed the later and opened. She gasped audibly at what she saw.

Jess had been working out for most of the day with Jerry, like he had done nearly everyday since he'd been here. They had a routine, a predictable routine. Every day, Harriet would wake him up; he'd dress, and have breakfast before a work out on his arms and upper body. He also rehearsed the daily necessities; moving from his bed to his chair, getting into the shower, getting out of the shower, getting dressed…those things were getting easier by the day. It was the exercises, that were getting hard, and Jess was beginning to see them as futile wastes of time. By the time they were finished with this it was time for lunch and Rory and Lorelai would visit him. They came every day without fail, which gave him strength to face the rest of the day. He needed to see Rory's smile, feel her touch, and to be honest, he needed a healthy dose of Lorelai.

After they left, he and Jerry would work on his legs and his abs, an event which usually resulted in bad muscle spasms and complete exhaustion. Today, Jerry was showing him a new truck. Using parallel bars he was showing him how to use his arms strength to propose his body forward. It was usually used when people were learning to walk again, but Jerry felt the exercise would help Jess' waning confidence.

"Don't use your legs, Jess," Jerry warned. "They're still dead weight. Use your arms and your back; keep your shoulders perpendicular to your spine."

"God, this hurts," Jess groaned putting all of his body weight on his arms. That wasn't hard, he's always been strong. What were hard were his shoulders, tensing his back muscles caused intense spasms, sending fire hot pain down his legs.

"Don't think about it," Jerry advised. "Rise above it. Use your arms and move toward me."

Jess started to try but his instability made him nervous and he shook his head, "No, I can't."

"Yes, you can, Jess. Come on, try it," Jerry encouraged.

Again Jess considered it, but couldn't shake his fear. His arms were shaking, his legs were shaking, and his heart was pounding. "No," he repeated. "Help me back to the bed. It's late anyway."

"After this exercise you can go back to bed. Do this first," Jerry commanded.

"I can't do it!" Jess protested. "Help me back to bed."

Jerry folded his massive arms across his chest, "I can't do that."

Jess was getting tired. The muscles in his arms were burning, his back ached, and his legs shook. If he didn't lie down in the next five minutes he'd be on the floor. Yet, he couldn't give in and do what Jerry asked. He was afraid of that motion, of feeling the dead weight of his legs drag underneath him, he was afraid of falling on his face and having the reality of his situation hit home.

"I'll do it myself," Jess snapped. That was the point anyway wasn't it, to do for oneself?

"Go ahead," Jerry replied.

Jess Mariano, he'd learned had a will of iron, which was a blessing and a curse. It was people like Jess that made it in the world in spite of their disability; it was also people like Jess that made his life a living hell. Jerry knew turning around and going to his bed was beyond Jess' capabilities, but he had to show him a quitter attitude didn't work at St. Barbara's. Jess had been exhibiting that attitude and that iron will was turning against him. This would be a set back for Jess, but hopefully; it would have a positive ending.

Jess' uncle and girlfriend were solid supporters of Jess' recovery, except when it came to seeing him do the work. The man, Luke, couldn't push Jess beyond a certain point, once Jess started balking about something he'd give up. The girlfriend couldn't even push him to a point, all she wanted to do was coddle him, hold him, and let him be waited on hand and foot. That was not the way to recovery. Thankfully, Jess still had enough steel in his spine to keep on trying, driven by his own will. Once that cracked, Jerry didn't think he could count on the family to support him, they would cave to Jess' wishes. And that would be the end of the kid's life.

Jess concentrated on the configuration, his determination to get back to bed, lie down, and sleep driving him beyond reason. He was so exhausted. His bed was far away from the end of the parallel bars, about six feet by his estimation. And he had to turn around. It would have been easier to do as Jerry asked, but he was too stubborn to recant his refusal now.

Jerry couldn't help but laugh to himself. Jess' "I can't" to a relatively simple task was as fervent his "I will" to this much harder one. He knew the kid didn't have a snowball's chance in July of doing what he waned. Jerry could only hope the resulting fall wouldn't do further damage to his confidence or his body. The determination Jess came in with had slipped in the last few days as he continued to work and felt no improvement.

Jess' jaw was firmly set. He would do this. It wasn't hard. Just turn around and push to the comfort of his bed. Once he did that he could rest. Rory would come soon after and massage his back while Luke gave the staff Hell. That was his favorite part of the day. Reliable Uncle Luke always yelled at Jerry for pushing too hard. But that never stopped Jerry, he'd just push harder.

Jess wasn't sure how, but by sheer force of will and solid arm strength, Jess managed the rather complex movements to turn his body around.

"You can do that, but you couldn't come to me," Jerry said stifling a laugh.

"Shut up!" Jess barked his teeth clenched against the pain of overworking his body. He'd done the hard part, now he had to get to the bed. He used the bars for balance until they ended. It was exhausting work, but he could do it, and the thought was exhilarating.

It was when the bars ended that Jess faced the real challenge; six feet to his bed with now means of support. Now was the time to see if all those exercises worked like the doctors said or if they were bullshit like he was beginning to think.

"Jess, don't use your…" That was all Jerry could say before Jess tried to step toward the bed. Naturally his legs didn't obey his brain's commands and as soon as he let go of the bars, he fell.

Jess lay on his stomach; his legs sprawled haphazardly behind him. Jess looked up at Jerry, tears brimming in his eyes, tears he was determined not to shed until he was alone, much, much later. "Help me?" he asked his pride shattering in that millisecond. Jerry saw it and knew what he had to do to help Jess get it back.

"Nope," he replied moving Jess' wheelchair over so it was near him, just out of his reach. "You got yourself down there, you get yourself up. Use the chair."

That was what Rory saw when she walked in. Jess on the floor, his therapist standing over him looking down at him. Jess and Jerry looked at Rory's face, seeing a mixture of emotions; anger, pity, and sadness cross her face. When the shock wore off, Rory rushed over to Jess and fell to her knees beside him. She saw the tears on his face, tears he tried to hide from her, but to no avail. Rory knew Jess' pride was wounded, it had taken a lot of hits since that night in her dorm, and out of respect to that she wouldn't mention that she saw him cry. "Jess, are you okay? What happened?" That was all she asked.

"Fell," he managed his teeth and jaw clenched. He couldn't seem to catch his breath.

Rory rose from her crouch, blue eyes blazing with anger directed at Jerry, "Why? Why did he fall? What were you doing to him when he fell? Why weren't you helping him? Huh? Why did you let him fall?"

Jess listened to Rory rail on Jerry. She shouted one question after another at him who tried to remain calm and answer them, "Rory, Jess insisted on trying…"

"Fine, but what about now? Help him now," she urged, gesturing to Jess who was trying to pull himself up on his chair.

"Jess had to learn to get up on his own," Jerry explained. "There will be other falls. He can't lie on the floor until someone comes home."

"But he's exhausted right now and I know his back is killing him so help him up," Rory told Jerry. "It is past six anyway, his work out is over."

"His work out is over when he's back in bed," Jerry told Rory. "Let's go Jess."

Jess tried, he truly did. He used his wheelchair for balance and tried to pull himself up, but he failed. He was simply too tired and worn down to succeed. Dejected and embarrassed he slumped to the floor again, his whole body shaking with fatigue.

"You have to help him," Rory declared. "You can't just leave him there."

"He can do it himself," Jerry declared. "He knows how."

"Maybe, but he's exhausted right now. So if you won't help him, I will!" Rory announced before leaning over behind Jess.

"Rory, you'll hurt yourself. I'm too heavy," Jess protested. "I'll try again in a minute. I'll do it, you'll see."

"Let me help you, Jess. When you're ready," she told him, smoothing his hair back from his damp forehead and dropping a kiss on his head.

A few minutes later, Jess nodded, took a deep breath and nodded, "Okay." Rory tried to push his legs up, but that action only caused him to cry out as pain shot through his back. Rory felt her throat close up. "I'm sorry," she squeaked out through tears.

"It's…okay," Jess managed gasping for breath, his chest working to catch up with his need for oxygen. "I…just…"

He stopped talking then and closed his eyes, his chin falling to his chest.

"Jess?" Rory cried out, fear evident in her voice and on her face.

Jerry tried to comfort her with a touch on her shoulder, "It's all right. He's just sleeping. He's worn himself out."

"Don't touch me!" Rory shouted at him, "Don't you dare touch me!"

That was what Luke heard when he arrived near Jess' room. He broke into a run, knowing that Rory would never be shouting at Jess like that or about that. He swung the door opened, and shouted, "What the _HELL_ is going on in here?" His blue eyes burned as he held Jerry's gaze.

"She's upset because Jess had a fall and he fell asleep from working to get himself up?" Jerry hastily explained.

"Why were you touching her?" Luke asked.

"I just put my hand on her shoulder," Jerry defended.

"Rory?" Luke waited for affirmation.

She nodded, "Luke, he wouldn't help Jess." She was sobbing and covered her face with her hands. "He needed help, he…"

"Rory, go to the waiting room and ask the nurse to page Dr. Cameron. I'll handle this."

Jerry tried to explain to Luke that this was for Jess' own good, but Luke ignored the man, busying himself with lifting his nephew off the floor and placing him in his bed. With surprising tenderness he covered him to the waist and ran his hand over his forehead.

"Outside," Luke commanded.

Jerry opened his mouth to protest. "Outside," Luke said again.

Jerry moved outside of Jess' room where Rory was talking with Dr. Cameron. She was still shaking so Luke when he came out put his arm around her, taking care of her as he would have Lorelai.

"Let's go to my office and discuss what happened," Dr. Cameron suggested.

The four of them settled in his office, "Now, Rory, why don't you explain to me why you are so upset?" Dr. Cameron asked.

"Because, when I got to the hospital to see Jess, I walked into his room and saw him on the floor. He'd fallen down, and he was so tired. He tried to get up and he couldn't and he wouldn't help him." She glared at Jerry.

"Rory, it is our policy at St. Barbara's to let our patients do for themselves. We have to teach Jess how to do things like that for himself," Dr. Cameron reminded her. "But," he sighed. "It is not usually our policy to have our patients fall. How did that happen?"

"I had Jess on the bars and told him to use his body to come to the end of the bars. He refused and asked me to help him back to bed," Jerry began.

"Why didn't you?" Rory shot. "You torture him all day long! You all ready know he's not going to get better, but you do it anyway!" she shouted. "Why do you do that? And why wouldn't you do what he asked?"

"You have to understand that independence is going to be very important to Jess…" Jerry began.

"It doesn't have to be," Luke said hoarsely. "I'll help him as much as I can."

Jerry hated when the family did this. They hindered the recovery when they did that. He only wanted to do his job; he only wanted to help these people and their families. Jerry wanted to tell Luke and Rory they weren't helping but before he could Pat poked his head in the office, "Luke, Jess wants to see you alone."

A few minutes later Luke was in Jess' room sitting by his nephew's bed. The kid was crying he could see it in the slump of his shoulders, in the way his back was turned to him. "Its okay, Jess," he comforted. "

It's going to be okay."

"I thought I would get better, you know, but I'm not," Jess told him. "I'm not going to get better either. And, I can't face her…it's so bad I can't even look at her."

"Look at whom? Rory?" Luke asked. This was not his domain at all.

"Yeah, I'm not what she needs you know. I'm not…Luke, I want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore." Jess told him, his voice taking on that familiar tone.

Luke nodded, "If that's what you want, Jess." That was all he said before he rose from his seat and left Jess to sleep that was rapidly claiming him. This was going to be hard. He'd have to get a new place and soon, and he didn't know what to do. He only knew one thing; the poor kid had been through enough. Now it was time to bring him home.

End Seven

Next: Lorelai and Luke settle the resident problem. Taylor gets on Luke's last nerve. Jess comes home. . Please Review if you have more ideas/suggestions or things you'd like to see in this piece.


	8. Chapter Eight

Luke made Dr. Cameron aware of Jess' wishes after Jess dozed off again. He went back to the man's office to retrieve Rory and to tell the therapist and the doctor that tomorrow morning, if Jess had not changed his mind, he would be taking his nephew home. Dr. Cameron told Luke that he wanted Drs. Camden and Davis to be made aware of Jess' wishes as well, and that before he signed discharge papers, he wanted the doctors to meet with Jess' family and his staff members. Drs. Camden and Davis had been explicit in their wish for Jess to undergo two weeks of inpatient therapy before being release. Jess was no where near that goal. Thus, the meeting was set for the following morning.

Luke and Rory drove back to Stars Hollow, Luke went to the diner and Rory went home. Luke knew that within minutes of his arriving back in the shop, the girls would be in, so he made a fresh pot of coffee.

"Mom!" Rory called. "I'm home."

"Hey, hon," Lorelai greeted coming in from the kitchen. "You're early. I didn't expect you until ten."

Rory sighed, "I know. Jess was really tired. He's asleep all ready." Rory told her mother as her voice began to crack.

Lorelai rushed to Rory and pulled her into a hug, "What happened, Babe?"

"I got there early," Rory began. "I got there early and Jess' door was still closed. It was all ready five minutes to six so I walked in to see if he was napping…" Rory trailed off as fresh tears started. She took a deep breath for composure. "But he wasn't napping. He was still doing his therapy.

Lorelai thought she understood. It was hard for Rory to see Jess struggle in therapy. The back and leg pain he experience almost constantly was intensified by the demands the regimen made on his body. She understood it would eventually help Jess out but still it was hard on her.

"Oh, Sweetie," Lorelai consoled. "You know the therapy is for Jess' own good. You want him to get better, right?'

"Yes," Rory replied. "You don't understand, Mom."

"I do, Rory," Lorelai assured her. At least she thought she did. "I know you don't like seeing Jess so tired or in pain, but it has to be, Babe. That's how he'll learn to be on his own."

"Mom, when I walked in, Jess was on the floor. The floor! He…they let him fall, Mom," Rory cried.

"That's part of the process, Sweetie. You fell a bunch of times when you learned to walk," Lorelai soothed. "That's what Jess is doing, but it is harder for adults."

Rory pulled out of Lorelai's embrace. She didn't understand at al. Rory brushed her tears away and tried to explain. "Yes, but when I fell you always picked me up. No one did that for Jess. No one. He just left him there and made him get up by himself."

"Rory," Lorelai interjected. "If Jess falls and Luke is out, he needs to know how to get up on his own."

"I know that," Rory insisted. "But they tried to make him do something he wasn't ready to do and he wanted to go back to bed. Because he didn't want to do their stupid exercise, that Jerry guy wouldn't help him lie down. He tried Mom, but he was so tired and Jerry wouldn't help him." Rory was ranting now, letting her anger flow out. "He tried to get up like he learned, but he couldn't do it. He was so tired and he…so I said I'd help him. At first he didn't want me to, he said I'd hurt myself. He fell asleep on the floor."

Now, Lorelai understood. Rory had come up close with the depth of Jess' dependence and he'd rejected her off of help. Rory hated seeing Jess hurting and she'd been given a hearty helping of it lately.

"What happened after that?" Lorelai asked.

"Well, before he fell asleep down there, I tried to help him, but I only ended up hurting him. Then he fell asleep while he was talking to me," Rory confessed. "After that, I got all crazy of Jerry and he touched my shoulder and I started yelling at him. That's when Luke showed up and he put Jess in bed," Rory paused for a breath. "After that, we went into Dr. Cameron's office and talked to him, but that got us nowhere."

"Wow!" Lorelai was surprised. Dr. Cameron seemed reasonable, but St. Barbara's was a tough hospital. "How's Luke?"

"Um, actually he's probably waiting for us at the diner. I told him we'd stop bye. Let's walk and talk," Rory suggested, her mind working better after she let out her anger. "It was something. I've never seen controlled angry Luke before, only aggravated ranting Luke."

"Is controlled anger Luke scary?" Lorelai asked with a mock shudder.

"Kind of. He speaks really low and menacing like," Rory described. "Mental not to avoid making Luke that angry."

"Well said, Sister Suffragette," Lorelai agreed as she and Rory walked arm in arm to the diner.

Luke jumped right back into diner work when he got back. He had to occupy his mind, he couldn't think about what tomorrow would bring. He wasn't prepared for Jess. The apartment was too small, it was not handicap accessible, but still he hadn't the time to find another place.

About half an hour later, Lorelai and Rory walked in. He hadn't told Rory about Jess' desire to come home. He wasn't sure how she'd take it.

"Hey. Coffee?" Luke asked, filling up their cups before they responded.

"Hey, Luke," Lorelai greeted. "It's slow."

"Yeah, has been since Jess' accident," Luke replied.

"Wonder why?" Lorelai mused as Rory sipped her coffee.

"Well," said Luke in a tone signifying he was about to rant. "Some suggest it is to give me more free time to visit Jess at the hospital, meaning Patty. Others, Kirk, say it's because I'm keeping irregular hours, which is not true. Still others, Babette and Morey say it's because everyone is trying that new burger place that opened up across the square. But earlier, I found out those were all excuses. That really, Taylor is the one behind the slow down," Luke paused for breath.

"Splain, Lucy," Lorelai quoted.

Luke rolled his eyes, but did so. "I went to the market to get some whipped cream and flour, and Taylor is his haughtiest tone told me that people weren't coming in the diner anymore because they didn't want their money to go to pay for Jess' care," Luke started to laugh a bit, which worried Lorelai. "He said the hoodlum deserved everything he got. And that he refused to be a hypocrite and pretend her cared just because Jess got hurt."

Lorelai and Rory sat stunned at Luke's revelation. Luke had always been there for the town. He didn't care for the festivals or charities, but still he supported Stars Hollow. Luke's Diner was a staple, a landmark. If the diner was in trouble, if Luke was in trouble…Lorelai tried to think of a way to console him. She was so deep in thought she didn't see Rory leave the diner in haste.

"Luke," Lorelai said gently. "I'm sure that's not true. That was just Taylor being a jerk."

"And now…Jess is coming home," Luke blurted out. "And I have no suitable place for him to stay."

Lorelai looked toward Rory was, no where Rory had been sitting, but her stool was now empty. "Where did Rory go?"

"She left a minute ago," Luke supplied. He was surprised he'd seen Rory leave and Lorelai had not.

Lorelai nodded almost sure she knew where Rory had gone. And she pitied Taylor for a split second.

"Luke, why is Jess coming home tomorrow? Isn't he supposed to stay in rehab another six days?"

"He's tired, Lorelai," Luke replied. "He's tired of that place and he wants to come home. I couldn't say no. You didn't see what I…not even Rory saw the look in his eyes," Luke sighed.

Lorelai tried to understand. Luke was Mr. Fix-It and he couldn't fix this. He all ready subscribed to Dr. Camden's prognosis and he didn't want his nephew, who had suffered in some way most of his life to suffer anymore. What Luke didn't realize was that to give in to Jess now would harm him more than it would help him.

"Is that really a good idea, Luke?" Lorelai asked. "Is Jess able to manage his disability?"

"It seems like it. The therapist said yesterday he was learning fast. I can help him with the rest,' Luke said on a sigh.

"Luke about a place to live…" Lorelai began.

"Nope. Can't do it, Lorelai," Luke cut her off. "I cannot move in with you and Rory. Can't, just can't."

"I know," Lorelai sighed. That would be the easy solution. They, she and Rory, could help with Jess. Jess could get in and out on by himself, he could go from the kitchen to the bathroom to the bedroom at his leisure, but Luke was too proud to accept that help. "But I had another idea."

"I'm listening," said Luke.

"Well, Sookie and I still owe you about $25,000 from that loan. You need a bigger place, all on one floor with a stall shower and we really can't afford to pay you for awhile, so…" Lorelai paused. "She and I think it would work out if you and Jess moved into Room 12 for free."

"Lorelai, I'm not going to stay at your Inn for no money," Luke protested.

"It wouldn't be for no money," she countered. "It would be deducted off what we owe you in loans. This will really help us out. Come on, Luke. What do you say?"

Luke knew what Lorelai was doing. She was craftily soothing his pride by making it seem like she needed him to cut her a break. "All right," Luke agreed. "But only until I find a better place."

"Agreed," Lorelai affirmed with a nod of her head.

Just then, the bell to Luke's jingled and Taylor ushered Rory in through the door. She was struggling against his arms still yelling at him, "What happened to community? What happened to the decency of small town America?"

"What happened to respecting your elders?" Taylor countered.

"Went out the window! Now I only respect those who earn it! And you didn't! Hey, let me go!" Rory shrieked, throwing a fit reminiscent of the one at Chilton many moons ago.

"Taylor!" Luke shouted when he saw Rory pulling her arm out of Taylor's grasp and yelling. "What are you doing?"

Taylor released Rory and held up both hands to protect himself from Luke. "Now Luke. She started it."

Lorelai heard that and advanced on Taylor. "She started it? What are you twelve years old?"

Lorelai snapped. "If anything you started it!"

Taylor ignored that. "Lorelai, you should show Rory better manners. She had no respect for her elders." He paused. "She used to, but since that hood…"

Taylor didn't get to finish his sentence. Luke pulled back his arm, clenched a fist and hit Taylor square in the nose, knocking the older man down. Taylor lay prone on the floor, Luke standing over him, his voice taking on that low menacing tone he'd used in the hospital. "For over a year you made it difficult for me to keep Jess around here. You judged, you accused, you gossiped so everyone would hate him before they even gave him a chance. Time and again you called him names, made jibes, and over and over again, I let it go. I turned the other cheek, all four of them. Today alone, you spread rumors about me and my business, you insulted my nephew again, you manhandled Rory, and you insulted Lorelai. No one gets away with that Taylor! No one."

Taylor got up, wiped the blood away from his nose and said still condescending, "Your father would be so disappointed in you."

"Correction," Luke snapped. "Dad would be disappointed if I let you…no one insults my family, Taylor."

Taylor turned and left the diner, his indignance unswayed by his bloodied nose. Luke looked at Lorelai and Rory, his eyes filled with remorse at having behaved that way in front of them.

"Are you all right, Luke?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, fine. Are you all right? Rory?"

"Fine, Luke," Rory replied. "Thank you."

Luke pulled his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Lorelai. "Finish your coffee, and then lock up," Luke instructed. "I have to lie down."

With that, Luke turned and headed upstairs, hearing Lorelai say, "You're right. Definitely make mental notes not to make Luke that angry," as he closed the door.

Luke couldn't believe what he had done. He'd actually punched Taylor. Taylor made him angry before, but he'd never lost control. Today he'd done it twice.

Luke opened the drawer where he kept his financial papers. Jess' insurance covered a percentage of St. Barbara's bill and a percentage of the hospital bills. Still the medical bills were astronomical. Between that and the money it would cost for equipment for Jess, he had to mortgage the diner.

Doing his usual steady business, even with paying Caesar, Lane, and Rory he would have been able to meet the monthly payments with ease. Now, with business falling off he'd have to fire all of his help to make ends meet and that was if business didn't get worse. Either way, if things didn't get better, in six months, Stars Hollow would see the end of Luke's diner. He'd have to do something. He had to think of something. He couldn't now, his brain ached. All he could do all he wanted to do was sleep.

Lorelai and Rory locked up and started walking home. "Rory, did you know Luke was bringing Jess home tomorrow?" Lorelai asked.

"No, but I'm glad," Rory smiled.

"Hon, what happened between you and Taylor?" Lorelai asked.

"After Luke said what he heard I felt…I don't know really protective of Jess. So I confronted Taylor and…well you saw," Rory sighed.

"Rory," Lorelai began. "I don't want you to answer this until you really think about it, okay?" When Rory nodded Lorelai continued, "Are you feeling the way you do about Jess because you still care about him or because you feel sorry for him? I mean would you be so protective and devoted even if he wasn't…you know, paralyzed?"

Rory opened her mouth to reply but closed it. Lorelai told her to really think about the question, which essentially was, "Did the feeling in her heart equal pity or love?"

They walked awhile in silence before Lorelai spoke again, "I'm worried about Luke."

"Me too. So is Jess," Rory replied. "Luke's smart, though. He'll let us know if he needs us," Rory tried reassure Lorelai. She only wished she believe herself.

Luke picked Lorelai and Rory up the next morning and drove out to St. Barbara's. Dr. Camden was meeting them at nine to discuss Jess' early release. Jess was dressed in his regulation street garb, jeans, tee shirt, and black socks. He still couldn't bear the weight of shoes. He was all ready in Dr. Cameron's office with Dr. Camden, Jerry and Harriet when Luke, Lorelai, and Rory arrived.

"Good morning," Rory greeted Jess, giving him a kiss. "You look better."

"I feel better," Jess replied moving his chair so he could sit next Rory and hold her hand.

"Good," Dr. Cameron began. "Now we can begin. Jess, your Uncle tells us you want to leave St. Barbara's early and go home. Is that right?"

"That about sums it up," Jess replied.

"Why?" Dr. Cameron asked.

"Because I feel like it," Jess responded.

"Jess," Rory warned. "Don't be evasive. Tell us."

"Well, I guess I got out of it all I'll get out of it," Jess replied. "I guess I realize I'm not going to get better any faster here than at home."

"Matt, I told Luke and Jess I won't release him without your say so," Dr. Cameron said.

"Dr. Camden, if you saw Jess last night…They overworked him so much he fell down and was so exhausted that he couldn't do the same maneuver he did the day before," Luke explained. "And this guy wouldn't even help him up." Luke indicated Jerry.

"St. Barbara's fosters independence, Luke," Dr. Cameron reminded him.

"Does it also foster torture?" Luke argued. "This poor kid…"

Jess was listening to the words around him. Dr. Cameron and Luke arguing back and forth, talking about him and around him, not to him. He let go of Rory's hand and wiped his palms on his legs.

"You can't let Jess give up so easily," Dr. Camden tried to reason. "My sister wanted to…"

Jess had enough of this, "Damn it! I'm in the room or did you forget that fact while you all talk about me like I'm a rotted side of meat? I'm the patient here, it's my body, and I'm the one who decides whether I stay or go. Me! None of you! I want to go home! I'm never going to get any better, so I should stop pretending. And don't," he looked at Rory, "tell me I will if I work hard because you know that's not true. Everybody does. Ultimately, the decision lies with me, none of you. I'm going home."

With that, Jess maneuvered his wheelchair and left the office stunned. Rory rose to go after him, to comfort him, but Lorelai stopped her. "Wait a minute, Hon. Let me go."

Lorelai left the office and headed after Jess. He needed a mother right now, he needed reality and encouragement. He didn't need Luke's tough love or Rory's soft caresses. He needed plain unvarnished facts, and who better to give those out that Lorelai.

Jess had wheeled himself back to his room. He had to hide out, to get away from everyone. He didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. He just wanted to go back to Luke's, back to Stars Hollow. That was something that he'd never think to want. It seemed thought that once he finally got back to Stars Hollow, he could start adjusting to this new life. He didn't want to give up hope that by some miracle of some deity out there that he'd walk again.

Jess turned his chair around when he heard the door squeak opened. Before he saw who came through the door he said, "Not now, Rory."

"Good," Lorelai answered. "I'm not Rory."

"Okay then," Jess sighed. "Not now, Lorelai."

Lorelai ignored Jess and moved further into the room. "Jess, it's not fair what they are doing in there, talking about you like you aren't in the room. But, they love you, Kid. They want what's best for you."

Jess shrugged, "It's my opinion that matters, though. Isn't it?"

Lorelai laughed gently and shook her head. "Nope, not when Luke's involved. You said it. Although I didn't agree with the way you said it. He has to fix everything Jess, and he can't fix this. That's why he's fighting so hard and making all the decisions."

"It's not just Luke. I know Luke. I know why he's doing it. It's the doctors and the therapists. Sure, they know their craft, but they don't know what it's like. They have no idea."

Lorelai frowned, "I know. When I was pregnant with Rory and had to leave school my friends tried to say, 'Oh, we understand.' There was nothing I hated hearing more than that. No one can understand unless they've been there. But, these doctors and these therapists work all the time with people who have been there. They do know how to help you Jess. They just can't sympathize with you and that's why you need. Isn't it?"

Jess studied his knees. He felt his eyes starting to water. He wouldn't do this, he would not cry in front of Lorelai. "I think…I just…I need to know that my life isn't over. I need to know that I can still do things with my life," he told her. "I need to know that this," he indicated his chair, "is just an assistive device, not a prison. It feels like a prison."

Lorelai leaned over a bit and hugged Jess gently as he continued, "And Luke…he can't…it's not fair to him to have me…and Rory…"

"Rory is your biggest champion, Jess. She always was, from day one, she was your advocate," Lorelai told him. "And she wants to be that now."

"I don't want that. I don't want her to be my "advocate." I want…never mind. I want to go home, back to Stars Hollow. I want to work in the diner and read on the bridge. That's it."

Lorelai nodded, "What about the therapy Jess? You have to keep working to stay independent. Promise me that if I go back in there and tell them what you've told me, promise that you'll work to keep yourself strong and healthy so you are swinging around the house like Tarzan."

Jess smiled a small smile, "I won't give up. I just can't stay here."

Lorelai nodded with understanding and rose. "Okay, then. I'll fix this, you just calm down okay."

Jess nodded again and watched Lorelai approach the door way. "Why are you doing this?" Jess asked. "You don't even like me."

"I didn't like you. You changed Jess. I see the person Rory saw and Luke. And I like that person," Lorelai told him.

Lorelai smiled once again at Jess and headed down the hallway back to the office. She walked in, and everyone stopped talking. Lorelai stood in the center of the room, put her hands on her hips and spoke firmly, "Okay, here's how it is going to be. Jess agrees to continue to work at home. He wants his life back to normal, he wants to go home. He's in decent health aside from the nerve issue which you can't help anyway. And bottom line, no matter what you think," she looked at Dr. Cameron, "or what he thinks." She then looked at Dr. Camden, "Jess is the patient. Period. So, we can stand all day and debate this, or one of you lovely gentlemen can sign the release papers and send him home. I have all day. I'll wait."

With that Lorelai sat down and crossed her legs.

"We only want him to have the best chances. We understand how hard it is…"

Lorelai cut Dr. Cameron off. "No, you don't. None of us do. If Jess could talk to someone who really did know, maybe he'd feel better, but for now, he'll do better at home."

Dr. Camden let the wheels turn in his head. He knew what this patient needed. He needed reassurance that he could still live a normal life. And Matt knew how to make that happen if the time came. For now, he'd let him go home.


	9. Chapter Nine

Luke pulled the truck around the back of the diner so no one could witness him lifting Jess out. A car that was lower to the ground and handicap passenger plates now had to be added to the list of things Luke needed to obtain.

"Um, Luke," Jess said tentatively. "Is there going to be a lot of people in the diner? I mean I know I'm going to have to see people eventually but…"

"Don't worry about it, Jess. I'm closed for the day," Luke told him. "You can rest awhile while I help Rory and Lorelai move our stuff over to the Inn."

"We're staying at the inn?" Jess asked surprised.

"Yeah. Lorelai's going to rent us Room Twelve. It's all on one floor and it has two bedrooms. It'll be perfect for you," Luke said.

"Yeah, but it's going to cost you more money," Jess sighed. He knew all the bills were putting a financial strain on his uncle.

"Let me worry about that. Lorelai and I have it all worked out," Luke said as he closed up the back of the truck. "Go on around the front, I'll be a minute."

Luke never told anyone that he'd loaned Lorelai money, so he didn't tell Jess the details of the arrangement surrounding their new lodgings.

Jess maneuvered his chair around to the front of the diner and made a reach to open the door. Rory came down from Luke's apartment at about the same time. When she saw Jess reach for the knob she all but dropped the box of stuff she was carrying to open it for him.

"Thanks," Jess acknowledged entering the diner. "Can I do anything to help?"

"No, we've got it covered. Why don't you best. I'll get you a blanket for your legs. Do you want a book?" Rory asked. She was very solicitous of Jess' needs and desires since the accident.

For example, Jess' legs got cold quickly and tended to shake or tremor, sometimes that happened anyway, but the blanket kept it from the public eye. When Jess' legs would tremor it would embarrass him. The blanket seemed to allow Jess some physical and emotional comfort, and that was all that Rory wanted him to feel, comfort. The book offer was self explanatory.

"Yeah, bring down something by Miller," Jess requested.

"The Crucible it is," Rory implied and went to retrieve the promised items.

"Jess and Luke here yet?" Lorelai asked when Rory returned.

"Yeah. Jess is downstairs and I didn't see Luke," she answered.

"Good. Maybe Jess could do some folding," Lorelai suggested. "That way we can carry the boxed down empty."

"Mom, Jess need to rest. It's been a big day for him," Rory protested.

"Did he say that?" Lorelai asked.

"No, but he's tired," Rory replied. "I'll be right back I'm just going to bring this stuff down for Jess." Rory help up the blanket, the book, and a pillow.

"Okay," Lorelai sighed. She knew Rory meant well. She knew she wanted Jess comfortable and happy, but it bothered her that Rory was so protective. You can't be like that us a boy like Jess. He'll want his independence and he'll revolt to win it.

When that happened, Jess would push Rory and Luke away. And in both cases there would be a very loud thud when they hit the ground leaving Lorelai to pick up the pieces. She reached into her pocket and fingered the phone number that Dr. Camden had given her. It was his home number. He'd said he knew someone who may be able to help if need be. Lorelai hoped she'd never need to use it.

With a wide bright smile, Rory bounded down the stairs. Jess was sitting down there looking out the window at Luke, who had pulled the truck to the front so that he and Lorelai could start loading things up.

"Here you are," Rory smiled. "Here's your book and your blanket." Rory put the book down on the table and shook the blanket out once before setting it gently over his legs. "Can you lean forward for me a little bit?" Rory asked. "Sit forward just a little bit."

Jess looked confused but when he saw her with the soft pillow and understood. Obligingly he leaned forward, the motion strained the sensitive muscles and Jess let out a little cry.

"I'm sorry, Jess," Rory hastily apologized, as she gently pressed him back. "There, relax into the pillows."

"Are you sure I can't do anything to help?" Jess asked once he was settled.

"I'm sure. Mom, Luke, and I can handle everything. You just rest," Rory instructed kissing his forehead before heading back upstairs.

Lorelai came down with another box. "You look comfortable."

"I feel like a ninety year old man," Jess grumbled. "Can't I help with something?"

"Um, we've pretty much got the moving stuff squared away. But the coffee stuff is…" Lorelai frowned at the empty pot.

Jess smiled at the meaningless chore, "Coming right up."

Jess never thought he'd be glad to get coffee for Lorelai or that she would understand him more than Rory or Luke would.

The coffee maker was low enough for Jess to reach and so was the coffee canister and filters. The sink was bit of a stretch but Jess did manage to fill the pot with water and pour it into the top of the coffee machine.

It took most of his energy, but the task was done and Jess settled back into his chair feeling like he'd hung the moon.

Rory emerged once again from the apartment and saw Jess had moved behind the counter. He was sitting in his chair with the blanket untucked. He was breathing hard and perspiring.

"Jess!" Rory exclaimed and rushed over. "What are you doing?"

"Making coffee," he replied.

"If you wanted coffee, I would have…wait a minute. You don't drink coffee." Rory was confused.

"It's for your Mom," Jess replied.

"Still. You shouldn't be pushing yourself so much," Rorry gently scolded. "Go read your book. I'll finish up here."

Rory took over before Jess even had a chance to protest it. He tried to understand where Rory was coming from on this, but try as he might, he couldn't get it to all line up in his head.

Rory was a smart woman. She was present at every consult and exam since the accident happened. She heard the same reports he had heard. No where did they say he was an invalid or a sickly sort of person, only that he could not use his legs. Even with that, Rory still insisted on treating him as if all he was capable of was idleness.

Jess understood partly. Just before the accident happened he and Rory had a pretty emotional exchange. He declared his feelings, his deep desire to be with her, and be a companion to her. He'd pushed to hard, he knew that, but it was by not pushing, not communicating that he'd first lost her. He didn't want to lose her again, so he studied and read Luke's book.

"Be truthful," it said. "Lay out all your cards," it said. "Shower your appreciation and love to the other person," it said. So he did that. He let it all hang out the night of his mother's wedding and was quickly rebuked.

Truth be told, Jess was actually surprised to see Rory next to him when he regained consciousness in the hospital. Since, she'd never left his side for very long. She tended him, nursed him, held him and comforted him during sometimes long bouts of pain. She waited on him; she did nearly everything for him.

Most of the time, Rory was content to do it and Jess was happy having her so close. Other times though, it set Jess' mind to wondering. He was wondering why there was such a sudden turnabout. She'd gone from vehement denial of any feelings for him of any desire to be with him to complete and total dedication and devotion. Part of him, his heart was screaming for him to let it flow and not think it out. But another part, his brain, was ordering him to do so, because his head wasn't sure if Rory was with him out of pity and guilt or out of a deeper emotion, as she claimed. He needed to find out. The uncertainty of it was eating him up inside.

Rory finished fixing her mother's coffee then started fussing with the blanket across Jess' legs. "There. How's that?" she asked.

Jess was lost in thought and didn't hear Rory's question. "Jess?" she repeated. "Jess!"

Three times was a charm because he heard her the last time. "What?" he asked her gently.

"You were far away," Rory commented. "I asked if you were comfortable."

Jess nodded, "I'm good."

"Good," Rory smiled and leaned over to gentle kiss Jess' lips. You relax. I'll be right back."

Meanwhile, Lorelai was outside in deep conversation with Luke. He was maneuvering boxes into the back of his pick up truck while Loreali chattered on. It wa shard for her to approach what was on her mind, so after a lot of shading and circling she finally spit it out.

"Luke, I'm concerned," she began.

"Concern? About what?" Luke asked swinging a full box into the back of the truck.

"Oh, Jess. Rory. You. You, Rory and Jess," Lorelai replied.

"Why?" Luke grunted moving another box.

"Jess feels left out," Lorelai replied. "He wants to help. You and Rory won't let him…" Lorelai sighed.

"Lorelai, Jess just got out of the hospital. He's still recovering from broken ribs and surgery. It's only been five weeks since the accident," Luke explained. "When he's stronger, actually stronger, I'll let him do more. He can wait tables in the diner, whatever he wants. But not now. He's still too…"

"Too weak. I know," Lorelai replied. "But surely if he was well enough to start rehab he's well enough to fold sweatshirts."

"It's been a long day for him. I decided…"

Lorelai cut him off. "That's the problem Luke. You decided. It's Jess' body, let Jess decide. He's nineteen, an adult and he's been making choices a lot longer than most kids his age. All you have to do is help him make the right choice. The right choice for Jess," Lorelai explained.

Luke's throat worked up and down as he felt the anger simmer deep inside him. Lorelai had never cared about Jess before. She hated him just like everyone else in the town. It didn't matter what they thought, their opinion didn't count. It did matter what Lorelai thought, because she did count. Still, for someone who led the parade when Jess left to so openly advocate for him now left suspicions in Luke's mind, pain in his heart, and a sour taste in his mouth.

"Funny coming from you, eh?" Luke questioned. "You were always preaching how irresponsible Jess is. Now that he no longer a threat to your daughter your fine with him, huh?"

Luke made absolutely no sense. "No longer a threat? What does that mean?"

"He's a paraplegic, Lorelai!" Luke shouted. "No sensation below the waist. He can't get her pregnant." Luke laid it out for her.

Lorelai was shocked at Luke's comment. It was true she'd viewed Jess as a danger to Rory, but to her heart not to her maidenhood.

"What a crude, despicable thing to say!" Lorelai shot back. "When Jess came here, the kid was out of control Luke. You had no idea what he was doing. You had no idea what you were doing. I only knew Rory was interested in him, just like I was interested in Christopher. I know kids like Jess who come from loveless homes. Those kids can't commit. I was afraid from her heart, Luke. And I was right. He did break it!"

"So what's different now?" Luke pressed. "Why do you care now? Why aren't you still afraid?"

Lorelai couldn't really answer that. She didn't know why. All she knew was it had nothing to do with Jess' accident. "I don't know," Lorelai replied. "He grew up maybe? He's made it alone out there, and he is in love with my daughter. More so, though, she's in love with him."

Luke absorbed what Lorelai said as he loaded the last box in the truck. He knew he'd been cruel but he couldn't control himself. He was so hurt and angry he had to let it go, but he couldn't let it go. He couldn't let it go if it meant more pain.

"That never mattered to you before," Luke countered. "Why now? Why are you of all people choosing hypocracy now. Why not just boycott us like the rest of the town. Huh?"

Lorelai looked as if Luke slapped her, his words hurt worse than any physical assault could have. She didn't know why he was being so mean.

"Luke," she said taking a long steadying breath. "You have no idea how rude and insensitive you are being. If you did realize it, you'd hate yourself for it. Whatever happened that got you in this mood, I'd like for you to tell me and let me help. If you're not ready to do that, that's let me help. If you're not ready to do that, that's fine. I won't push you. But I won't stand here another minute and let you insult me ridicule me or question my motivation. Tell Rory I went home. It'll be there for the rest of the day. When you're ready to talk and to apologize, feel free to come over."

Lorelai kept her voice even throughout her speech; he cool blue eyes never wavered from Luke's hard gaze. Once she'd said her piece, she turned around, shoulders squared and headed in the direction of her house.

"Luke," Rory called when she came outside. "That's the last of it. Where's my Mom?"

Luke was ashamed of how he treated Lorelai so he just replied, "She headed home."

Rory thought it was strong, but didn't press it. Things had been tense with Luke lately. "Okay," was all she said.

"Jess wants some air, so I'm going to walk him to the Inn. Okay?" Rory told Luke.

"Sure, fine," Luke replied. "I'll see you over there." With that, Luke got in the truck and started for the Inn.

Rory pushed Jess' wheelchair through the streets of Stars Hollow pausing ever once in awhile to greet a town member. People generally were polite when Rory and Jess approached, smiling and exchanging pleasantries. There were some people who avoided them totally, such as Taylor. And others, who were curious and regarded Jess as an interesting change in the landscape. Case in point, Miss Patty.

"Good afternoon, Rory. Jess," Miss Patty greeted as they were passing the Dance Studio. She intercepted the path. "How are you? It was such a shame, I felt terrible when I heard."

"Didn't we all?" Jess mumbled. Rory flicked his shoulder just after that, a signal for him to behave. "So," he said. "I'm not feeling too badly. Just tired."

"You aren't overdoing it I hope, being out of the hospital so soon after such a terrible accident." Miss Patty shook her head sadly.

Jess began to form his reply, but Rory cut him off. "We felt he'd do better at home where he can relax and Luke and I can look after him."

Jess felt his face flush, "Yeah, I wasn't getting too far in rehab."

Jess couldn't have kicked himself. Of all the stupid remarks to make and to Miss Patty of all people, but it was too late now.

The conversation carried on a bit longer and Jess could feel the pain building in his back. The pain started out like a tensed muscle, a slight dull ache. Then it intensified into a full blown spasm, the muscles contracting and nerves firing of their own accord causing the pain to seize Jess from behind, clamp down, like a vice around his chest and shoot like fire down his legs until he felt like his feet were submerged in hot coals.

Jess hated giving in to it, crying out from it, even in private, so out here on the street in front of Miss Patty was the last place he wanted such a pain.

Rory and Miss Patty were still jabbering on when Jess felt he had to try and get Rory's attention. The pain was getting intense and he had to get away. Jess was concentrating on lifting his hand to touch Rory's as it held the back of his wheelchair.

Rory broke off from her conversation, "What is it, Jess?"

"I'm tired, Rory. Can we…" He nodded in the direction of the Inn.

"Oh, sure. We'll se you later, Miss Patty," Rory hurriedly excused them and headed away.

Once Miss Patty was out of ear shot, Rory giggled. "Thanks, Jess. That…Jess?" Rory stopped and knelt in from of him when she saw Jess' head bent, fists tightly clenched. Rory smoothed back his hair to reveal Jess' brown, which had broke out in a sweat.

"Jess, what is it?" Rory asked softly. "Are you in pain?"

Jess nodded gritting his teeth. Rory remembered Dr. Camden and Dr. Cameron's advice about Jess' wheelchair. When he had them, their cause was more than likely sitting too long and over stretching sensitive areas. He was supposed to lie on his side when they happened until the muscles relaxed and the pain subsided.

Rory looked around. They were no where near the Inn, but Jess looked like he could not bear anymore. The bridge, their bridge was near, private and peaceful. With a reassuring smile, Rory whispered. "Hold on, Jess." Before she resumed pushing the chair in the direction of the bridge.

Once they reached the privacy of their own private glenn, Rory eased Jess out of his chair and play him on the blanket that had covered his legs. She helped him be so he was facing the pond, gently positioning the pillow under one of his hips.

"There you go," Rory whispered. "Just breathe." She coached running her hand through his hair. "It'll be over soon."

When Jess jack knifed with pain, Rory took her small hands and began a massaging the area that plagued him. She felt Jess relax as she worked on his back and murmured soft words to soothe him. When Jess was finally relaxed again, Rory spoke."

"The other day my Mom asked me to think about my feelings for you. Not what they were, but more where they came from," Rory began.

"Rory, don't…" Jess cut her off and pushed himself into the sitting position, using his arms for leverage. "I all ready know you're…I know this is some sort of obligatory…I know this your way of relieving the guilt you feel about my accident." Jess finally said. "You don't have to clarify it or clear it up. You don't even have to feel guilty. There really isn't a reason to."

Rory was shocked for a moment then grew angry. "If you believe I'd do that Jess Mariano, then you don't know me as well as you claimed. I can't believe…" Rory's voice broke and she turned to hide her tears from Jess. Try as she might, she couldn't help but let out a sob.

"Rory," Jess whispered. "I'm sorry, I didn't…Come here."

Rory turned around and moved to join, Jess on the bridge. She helped him lean against a post before snuggling against him. Jess smoothed her hair; deeply sorry he'd made her cry. Before Jess could explain Rory continued, "Mom asked me if I was with you out of love or pity. I could have answered her right off, but she told me to think about it first."

Jess was silent and waited for Rory to finish. "I realized now, while I am sorry you were in an accident and while I can't help but feel partly to blame for it, I'm here no because…because I love you, Jess. So much."

Those last words were said on a sob and Jess help Rory even tighter, his lips caressing her hair as he spoke. "I love you too Rory. And none of this," he gestured to his legs and wheelchair, "is your fault. It's my fault."

Rory pulled away and searched Jess' face, "Your fault? How…"

"I never should have left you the way I did," he replied to her unasked question. "Even if I did go to California, I should have told you about it, said a proper goodbye to you after all we shared, but I didn't. When I finally did see you after I let a year go by, I didn't do that right. I avoided you and then I told you I loved you. But instead of sticking around, of talking about it, I ran away from you again." Jess paused and swallowed, "Then, that night at the dorm, I asked you to sacrifice so much, when I never gave up anything for you. If I wasn't so stupid, I'd be standing here right now telling you this."

A dark look crossed Jess' features. "Jess, I understand about California. You had to go out on your own to find your way back, and I'm glad you found your way back to me."

"So am I," Jess replied, kissing her lips gently. "And I'm glad on some level I left in spite of you and you turned me down flat at your dorm. "

"You are?" Rory asked confused. "Why?"

"Because if it worked out differently we never would have learned that love shouldn't equal sacrifice," Jess explained. "It should only equal compromise." He kissed her nose.

"It also equals forgiveness. Let's forget all the stupid mistake we made and start new just like you suggested. Only we'll do it here, in Stars Hollow." Rory was excited at the idea and thrilled when Jess smiled.

"It's a deal," Jess replied and kissed her lips. "We better get moving. Luke will worry."

"You feeling better?" Rory asked getting up and getting ready to help Jess.

"Yeah, just move my chair closer. I'll do the rest," Jess said using his therapy to push himself into his chair. He was perspiring and breathing hard when he was done, but he was proud of having done for himself.

Rory walked beside Jess as they continued towards the Inn. Luke was waiting outside for them when they arrived, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Where were you? I was worried," Luke demanded.

"Sorry, Luke," Rory apologized. "We got Pattied and stopped at the bridge to talk."

Jess silently thanked Rory for leaving out his back spasm. "Sorry you were worried, Uncle Luke."

Luke sighed, "It's fine. Just don't wander around like that again. Your condition is very new to you…"

Jess wanted to scream when Luke said that, but instead he calmly replied, "I know. I'll let you know next time."

Luke moved out of the way so Jess could go inside and start unpacking. "Thanks for helping, Rory. Go home now. I've got it covered."

Rory nodded, "Tell Jess I'll call him tomorrow."

Luke nodded and watched her walk back toward her house. He went inside to see Jess unpacking a box. "Oh, I'll do that," Luke hastily offered and usurped Jess' task.

Luke busily ran about the room, unpacking clothes, CDs, and books, quickly scolding Jess anytime he tried to help out.

A few hours later, the unpacking was done and Luke insisted he help Jess into bed. Jess was grateful for the help he was truly exhausted and his back ached. Jess sank back into the pillows and let his body relax and his mind unwind.

This life would be difficult and although he wasn't fully convinced his paralysis was permanent the realization was beginning to settle. Jess lay awake for some time pondering what that meant for his future, for Rory's future, and for his future with Rory. Jess was too tired to resolve anything that night, but he knew it was a reality he'd have to think about very soon.

Once Jess was settled for the night, Luke sat at the suite's tables and poured over their bills. Somewhere he had to find the money to pay the mortgage on the diner in addition to making pay roll. The task before him was too daunting to deal with Luke longed to sleep.

Slowly, he cleared away the paperwork and started for the shower when he heard a knock on the door.

"Probably Sookie or Lorelai," Luke grumbled, wishing it was Lorelai so he could apologize to her.

When Luke opened the door though, he realized his luck was till on the downslide. It was not Lorelai's face that greeted him, nor Sookie's or Rory's. Instead, Luke opened the door to come face to face with Liz and TJ.

"Hey, Luke. I'm here to see Jess."


	10. Chapter Ten

"Jess is sleeping, Luke replied in an even tone. "Come back in the morning."

"Luke, come on," Liz needled. "I want to se my son."

"Liz, he's resting. He needs his rest," Luke insisted. "You can see him in the morning. You can come by here early or wait and see him at the diner."

Liz and TJ who had been traveling with the fairs didn't know about the accident or Luke's move. They were simply passing through Stars Hollow on their way back to New York.

"Why does he need his rest? Luke, is Jess sick?" Liz asked, the remnants of her mother's intuition surfacing.

Luke sighed and slipped out of the room. "Let's go down by the main house and talk. I don't want to wake Jess."

TJ was still oblivious but Liz noticed her brother's bizarre behavior whenever she mentioned her son. Liz followed Luke outside and a few feet away from the room Luke took a deep breath and sighed.

"The night of our wedding, Jess left Stars Hollow for New York. Apparently he decided to go back by way of New Haven and he stopped by Yale to see Rory Gilmore," Luke began.

"Rory is Lorelai's girl?" Lixz asked.

"Yeah, she and Jess had a thing for awhile before he took off for California and left her behind," Luke clarified. "Anyway, I'm not sure how or what transpired at Yale, but Jess left pretty upset according to Rory. Apparently since he was upset and the roads were slick when a drunken truck driver came at him, he didn't react in time to swerve and keep the car under control. He ended up getting into a very serious accident," Luke finished.

Liz covered her mouth with her hand, "Oh my God. Luke how is he? He's fine now, right?"

"He's recovering very well, considering how severe his injuries were," Luke replied. "But there is some permanent damage. He's paralyzed, Liz. He'll never walk again."

TJ finally realized what Luke was saying and held Liz's shoulders as she began to cry. "That's why he needs his rest. Two much in one day tires him out. He only came home from the rehab hospital today," Luke said.

"Why didn't you call me?" Liz asked. "Why didn't you call me immediately?"

"I did call you," Luke replied. "You and the tights man never answered my messages. Even the doctors tried to call you."

"I want to see my son," Liz insisted.

"Tomorrow morning you can…"

"Not in the morning, Luke," Liz protested. "Right now."

Liz was moving past him before Luke had a chance to react. TJ didn't comment, he just fell into step beside Luke.

"So the punk finally did it, eh?" TJ asked. "I knew it was only a matter of time."

"I'm not in the mood, TJ," Luke warned.

"I'm not saying nothing. I'm only saying the kid screwed up a lot," TJ defended.

"Well, that's something," Luke hissed as he opened the door to the room. "Isn't it?"

Liz didn't wake Jess when she went into his room. She just looked down at her son, sleeping on his back, sheets covering him up to his chest.

"He looks fine," Liz whispered. "The same."

Luke nodded. "The cuts and bruises healed a couple of weeks ago."

Liz's eyes filled with tears when she spotted the wheelchair beside Jess' bed with the back pillow on the seat and the plaid blanket draped over the arm. "I can't believe I wasn't here. I can't believe Rory…" Liz trailed off.

"Liz," Luke whispered. "You're waking him up. Come outside."

Liz followed Luke to the front part of the room. "You have a place to stay?" he asked.

TJ shook his head and Luke handed them a key. "It's for my apartment at the diner. This room's only large enough for us."

TJ took the key without a word and set his arm around Liz's shoulders leading her out the door.

It was late when Luke got out of the shower and later when he finally fell asleep annoyed by an aching pain in his left shoulder.

Jess woke before Luke the next morning, around eight o'clock. He knew Luke wouldn't leave him alone when he opened the diner and he didn't smell coffee which meant Luke must still be here.

Jess pushed himself up in bed and reached for his wheelchair. He better use the bathroom first before there was a mess, the he'd fine Luke before he showered.

Jess' bathroom adventure proved easier here than at rehab. He felt more comfortable without Harriet and Jerry staring at him and hovering over him.

Once the bathroom task was complete Jess maneuvered into Luke's room. His uncle was still in a deep sleep, his brow nearly drenched with sweat. Jess didn't want to wake him, but he needed to be at the diner.

"Uncle Luke," Jess whispered. "Uncle Luke, time to get up."

Luke stirred and sat up. "I'm up, Jess. What do you need?"

"I need a shower and you need to get to the diner. It's after 8," Jess pointed to the clock.

"After..." Luke shot up. "Is Caesar…"

"No one's called up screaming yet so it's safe to assume Lane or Caesar opened," Jess comforted. "Just get up, get showered, and get over there."

"What about your shower?" Luke asked.

"I can get one after you leave," Jess offered.

"No you can't showere by yourself," Luke protested.

"I've been doing it since I was three," Jess argued. "I'll be okay."

"Jess, I'm not eve sure if the shower chair is stable…"

Jess cut him off. "Fine. I'll shower now. Then I'll dress while you shower."

"Won't you need help with you pants?" Luke asked.

"If I do, I'll call you," Jess said. "Now, I'm going to shower. I'll be twenty minutes."

The entire showering and dressing process took longer than Jess anticipated an din the ned he was grateful Luke insisted on helping him. The lessons he'd learned at. St. Barbara's were valuable but he was still not strong enough to do the required maneuvers completely on his own. He was sure as he healed more and gained more arm strength he'd be able to manage more on his own.

It was almost 9:30 by the time Luke and Jess reached the diner. Caesar had opened and Rory was inside taking orders, serving Miss Patty and Babette. They were the only customers.

"Good morning, Luke," Rory greeted then moved to hug Jess. "Good morning. I was getting worried about you."

"Why? Luke had me," Jess replied. "Still it was sweet of you to worry."

Rory frowned, "How was your night?"

"Not bad. I went to bed early and I got up at eight."

"No more…"

Jess shook his head. "No more."

Luke set to work, gave Rory a break, but failed to mention Liz and TJ's presence to Jess. Since last night he'd forgotten his sister and her husband were even there. Thus, Luke was as startled as Jess was when Liz and TJ came downstairs.

Liz saw Jess in his wheelchair, the plaid blanket tucked around his legs. He was sipping tea and talking to a girl she could only assume was Rory from the picture Jess had carried with him. Liz sprinted at Jess before he even had a chance to react. "Oh, my baby!" she erupted throwing down her weight at Jess.

"Whoa!" Jess exclaimed as he was knocked breathless. Rory saw his shock and his grimace and set to work. Firmly she gripped onto Liz' clothing and pulled, "I beg your pardon! Who are you?" Rory demanded.

"I'm Liz Danes, Jess' mother. Who are you?" Liz asked pretending she didn't all ready know.

"Uh, Rory it's okay," Jess intervened. "Rory, this is my mother Liz. Liz, this is Rory."

Liz studied the girl who in her mind was responsible for Jess' accident. Her son was crippled permanently because of this girl who though who she was.

"Well, I must say it's nice to have a face to go with the name," Liz began. "It's really a relief to see at least you're pretty. If Jess' life was going to be over because of a girl she might as well be pretty."

Miss Patty nudged Babette. "This is going to be interesting."

"I beg your pardon," Rory said again just as firmly as before. "For your information, Jess' life is not over. He's still able to do some things, and even if this was my fault, I intend to stand by Jess. This didn't happen because of me, it happened because of a drunk driver, but nevertheless I was there for him and I will be there for him. Where the Hell were you?"

"I didn't know…"

Rory cut her off. "That's right. You didn't know. You weren't even around. Luke tried to call you, the doctors tried and no one could contact you."

"We were on the road…"TJ began.

By this time Jess was getting a headache and Miss Patty was getting a show. Jess had never seen how angry Rory got when she defended him so this new passionate Rory was a surprise.

Luke's attention had been seized by Rory's voice as she accosted TJ and Liz. "You were on the road, you were traveling, that's no excuse. Just because you're on the road doesn't mean you shouldn't call your kid or your brother. If you really care about your 'baby' you'd have checked in with him. But you didn't, you never did!" Rory accused.

Liz was speechless at Rory's harsh words. She knew the truth in them. She'd never been a good mother to Jess, and she'd always wanted to make up for that.

"I know I wasn't there then, but I'm her now," Liz replied turning to Jess and taking his hand. "I'm going to make it up to you. I'll take care of you…" she offered and Jess pulled back on his hand.

"I don't want you to take care of me or to make anything up to me," Jess argued. "I'm fine on my own. I had Rory and Luke and I don't need you or the etch a sketch man helping me."

By this time Luke decided he should intervene. Jess was getting upset and upsetment led to tension which led to muscle spasms, a scene Luke hoped to avoid in front of Liz and TJ.

"Jess," Luke said firmly. "Why don't you and Rory get some air. Have her back in thirty minutes."

Jess looked from Luke to Rory whose face was red with anger and reached for her hand. She needed to calm herself down. "That's a good idea, Sweetheart. Come on."

Rory took Jess' chair and pushed it towards the diner's exit. Liz spoke again as they left.

"You have to fix this Luke," Liz told him. "He's my son. I should take care of him. He needs…"

"You have no idea what he needs!" Luke exploded forgetting the presence of the town's biggest gossips. "You weren't around. You didn't…you didn't see him in pain lying on blood soaked sheets. You didn't see his face or hold his hand when he found out he'd never walk again. You didn't meet with doctors, nurses, and therapists. You didn't see him struggling in therapy or crying out from the pain of back spasm. You didn't carry him to bed when he couldn't do it himself or pick him up when he fell. You didn't do battle for him or with him when his body couldn't take anymore. You didn't encourage him or support him. You didn't take a single class, pay a single bill or even make a simple phone call," Luke ranted. "I did those things, and Rory, and Lorelai. We are what Jess needs. We know what Jess needs. You don't have the first damned clue! You want to help him now because it's new to you, but when his disability starts to interfere with your life he'll be right back here at my door. I'd rather you just save us the time and went on your way."

Luke finally finished on a long sigh and moved to the door. Liz and TJ were completely speechless after what Luke said hit home. Liz couldn't find a reply she just moved toward the door. TJ who was unaffected by Luke's tirade seeing as he basically was not guilty of Liz's parental offenses said quickly, "We'll call you."


	11. Chapter Eleven

Luke's face was pale and his breathing uneven. He felt dizzy and sat down to catch his breath. Miss Patty hurried over.

"Luke, are you all right?" she asked. "Babette and I couldn't help but hear."

Luke sighed and rose, "I'm fine. Patty, I'd appreciate it if…"

"We kept this quiet?" Patty finished.

"Yeah," Luke nodded.

"Ah, sugar, consider it done," Babette affirmed.

Luke barely had a chance to thank them before the diner door opened and a lady in a business suit walked in. "Lucas William Danes?" she asked.

"Yeah," Luke replied.

She handed him a clipboard. "Sign here."

Luke scrawled his name and took the envelope.

"What is it? Certified letter?" Patty asked.

"Did you win a million dollars or something?" Babette asked.

Luke tore open the envelope and felt the tension in his chest increase as he read the words on the page.

Taylor Doesee was suing him for injuries, loss of income, and pain and suffering in the amount of $500,000.

Quickly, Luke tucked the paper away. "And the hits just keep on coming, he murmured. Then replied, "Junk mail."

Rory and Jess strolled by the market and Jess turned his chair toward the door.

"What do you want in there?" Rory asked, seeing Dean and Lindsey through the window.

"Rolling Stone," Jess replied. "And Punk World. The new issues are out. Plus, I want to bug Taylor."

Rory smiled and followed him in.

Jess selected his magazines then he spotted Dean as well. Jess was curious as to how his form competition for Rory's heart would respond to his new wheels, so Jess turned down the aisle. Rory didn't know why Jess wanted to invite this competition with Dean, but if he did, so be it.

"Hey," Dean greeted first spying Rory. "Lindsey, you remember Rory?"

"Yes, I do," Lindsey replied.

"Ah, Mrs. Forrester," Jess greeted. 'It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Hey, Jess. How are you doing?" Dean asked. "Lindsey, this is Jess Mariano."

"Well, likewise, Jess," Lindsey replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Not bad," Jess replied.

"How is everything?" Rory asked. "Everyone feeling all right?" The conversation was awkward.

"Um, Lindsey…" Dean began.

"I may be pregnant," Lindsey replied.

"Wow, that's great," Jess smiled. "Congratulations."

"Yeah, congratulations," Rory said and was surprised she meant it. She hugged Lindsey first, then Dean.

"When we know for sure we'll have you over for dinner. It'll be great to know some younger couples," Lindsey gushed.

Jess smiled and graciously accepted the invitation before retrieving a bottle of aspirin and moving to the check out.

There was a line about an aisle long and a customer was arguing with Kirk.

"I insist on speak with Mr. Doesee…"

"Mr. Doesee left me in charge. He's not able to be down here now; he's been beaten up by the guy who owns the diner…"

Rory and Jess locked gazes and Jess' eyes filled with anger. "Kirk!" he snapped. "Stop telling tales."

"I'm not telling…Luke punched Taylor in the diner the other day. He broke his nose, hurt his neck…" Kirk claimed. "Taylor will be a rich man when he gets done suing him. He'll probably own Luke's diner."

Jess felt his stomach lurch and Rory's heart started pounding in her chest. Quickly, Jess added his purchases, took a twenty out of his pocket and put it on the counter. "Keep the change," he commanded. "Come on, Rory."

Jess moved to Luke's at a speed Rory could barely keep up with on foot. When they arrived at the diner they saw Luke with Caesar and Lane at one of the tables. Caesar looked sick and Lane was crying.

"So you see," Luke was saying, "I can't afford to keep you on staff. As much as I need you, I can't afford to pay you. I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be."

Lane hugged Luke, "I'm sorry too. If you ever need help…"

"Thanks," Luke replied patting her back awkwardly. "Believe me, I wish there was another way."

"What are you going to do?" Caesar asked.

"I'll run the diner myself. I did it before. As soon as things get better…"

"I know," Caesar replied before turning to leave. "Hey, Rory. Jess," he greeted.

"What was that about?" Jess asked entering the diner.

"Nothing," Luke replied, his wall firmly in place.

Jess nodded and let it go. He understood Luke's need for space. Luke would talk when he was ready. Rory understood a different need in Luke, one she often required herself. So when Luke rebuked Jess' query about Caesar and Lane, Rory quickly dialed her cell phone.

"Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking," Lorelai answered.

"Mom, you've got to come," Rory said urgently.

"What happened? Is Jess okay?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, but Mom, we just found out that Taylor's suing Luke. And then we overheard Luke fire Lane and Caesar," Rory told her mom.

"I'm on my way," Lorelai answered, then hung up.


	12. Chapter Twelve

A/N: Thanks to Rorybabe for reading this through for me and for giving me an encouraging push in the right direction. Thanks.

By the time Lorelai rushed over to the diner, Luke had disappeared. He went upstairs for a moment, came back down, told Jess to watch the diner, and then disappeared again.

"Where's Luke?" Lorelai asked. "Upstairs?"

"We don't know," Rory replied. "He left."

"Left? Luke doesn't leave. Where did he go?" Lorelai asked.

"Don't know," Jess grumbled. "I've got to go."

"Go where?" Rory asked. "We have to talk about this."

"I have to go kill Taylor," Jess declared. "He's only pulling this shit because he wants to expand the soda shop."

"You don't know that Jess," Lorelai soothed. "Taylor and Luke have been at odds for years. Luke usually intimidated the hell out of him. Taylor's probably just trying to scare him."

"Well, he did a good job of it!" Jess snapped banging his hand on the arms of his chair.

"Jess!" Rory scolded. "Calm down. You shouldn't upset yourself. Let's just sit down and talk about this."

Lorelai sat down next to Rory and Jess. "What did Luke say when he told you about the lawsuit?"

"He didn't tell us about the law suit. Kirk did," Rory replied.

"Okay, what did he say when he told you about firing Lane and Caesar?" Lorelai asked.

"He didn't tell us that either. We over heard that," Jess grumbled, shifting in his chair. "Then he left."

Lorelai sighed. This was not good. Luke was typically silent but he never ran away. He just got moody. Lorelai was very worried about him. She'd have to go and look for him.

"Well, he probably just needs some time," Lorelai comforted. "Especially with the cash flow problems he's been having."

"What cash flow problems?" Jess asked.

"Well the hospital bills…" Lorelai began.

"Mom!" Rory scolded.

"No," Jess said. "Let her talk. I know those bills were a lot of money, but the diner is…"

Lorelai shook her head. "Jess, the diner's business has fallen off a lot since your accident."

Jess was confused. "Why? Luke was opened wasn't he?"

"Yeah," Lorelai said. "But Taylor…" Lorelai stopped. Jess didn't need the added guilt of Taylor's vicious rumors, so she asked, "Jess, why doesn't matter?"

"Of course it matters!" Jess shouted. "People in this town hate me. That's no secret. What they don't want Luke paying for my case with their money. Is that it?"

Lorelai studied the table unable to admit the truth to Jess. Even though he all ready knew it. "No.," she said. "It's just…"

"Look Lorelai, I know I don't really do anything to endear myself to Stars Hollow, but Luke always did everything for this town," Jess declared, clearly upset.

"I know." Rory comforted moving to put her arms around Jess.

"It's not fair," Jess murmured.

"I know," Rory replied smoothing his hair off his brow.

"I want to go home," he whispered against her shoulder. "Take me home."

"You have therapy…" Rory started to remind him.

"I want to go back to the Inn. My back hurts," Jess snapped.

"All right," Rory agreed. "Let's go home."

Jess made no move to move his chair himself so Rory did it for him. It was obvious Jess was upset and depressed, he slumped in his seat and studied his lap. He looked like he did in the hospital before he was moved to St. Barbara's.

Lorelai didn't worry about Jess though. Rory would take care of him. It was Luke she was worried about.

"Where would Luke go?" Lorelai asked herself. "Where did he always go when he was hiding? When he was sad? "That's it!" Lorelai exclaimed and left the diner unattended as she headed for home.

Rory took Jess home and helped him lie down. His back was in a full fledged spasm by the time he got home so once he was lying down Rory massaged the area for him, humming softly until the pain subsided.

"I don't know what I'd do without you here," Jess mumbled. "You take the pain away just by being here." He pulled her down for a kiss.

"Jess, if you're feeling better we should try and make it to therapy," Rory suggested.

Jess kissed her again. "Reschedule."

"All right," Rory agreed. "If you want to but you can't give up Jess. You have to keep going," Rory told him.

"I know, but the therapy costs money, Honey," Jess replied.

"We'll find a way, Jess," Rory comforted. "Maybe I can talk to my grandparents…"

"No," Jess sighed. "I don't want you to worry this. Okay?"

"But…"

"No buts." He puts a finger to her lips. "I'll figure it out."

"Okay," Rory replied and laid down beside Jess. "Back better?"

"Yeah," Jess replied. "Can I hold you?" he whispered against her hair.

"Always," Rory whispered laying her head against Jess. He wrapped his arms around her.

"They lay together for awhile before Jess posed a question that had been on his mind for awhile.

"Rory, what are we going to do about Yale?" Jess asked.

"What do you mean? Yale's a long time off yet," she replied.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to that school, and it is in New Haven… It's not far, but still, it's not Stars Hollow," Jess sighed.

It was Rory's turn to shush him. "Jess, listen to me. When we first dated I was focused on Chilton and my future. Now after a year at Yale and almost losing you, I know what's really important in my life. I've been thinking about this too, and I"ve decided you need me more than I need Yale so…"

"Rory, no!" Jess stopped her mid-sentence. "You are not going to give up Yale because of me. No way."

"Jess, it's not because of you, it's for you," Rory twisted.

"Don't twist words. You need Yale to become who you want to be," Jess told her.

"No, I need college to be who I want to be. Not Yale," Rory corrected.

"But you've dreamt of college. For some reason you chose Yale, but it's the Ivy League," Jess declared, pushing himself up on the bed.

"Jess, the Ivy League, Yale, Harvard, those are all superficial things. You and me…that is so much more, so much bigger."

Rory wanted to explain this to Jess. She could see herself with him now. She could see herself at his side, being his wife, having his children…She could never see that part of herself before Jess, no, before Jess' accident. Jess didn't respond to her last comment, she knew what he was thinking all ready but she continued, "I've always been expected to do the Ivy League thing, Jess. I'm not sure it's ever what I really wanted."

Jess rolled his eyes at the excuses she was making. "Rory, you forget who you're talking too. This is me. I know you. You don't think I do, but I do. I know your causes and more causes…and that's what I've become to you. That's why I'm suddenly so attractive when a couple of months ago, when I the rebel you couldn't stand me because you knew you couldn't change me. Now, I come ready changed," he gestured to his legs.

Jess knew he was being mean. He had to be mean. He had to get her to leave him and go on with her college career. If she got closer to him, if he let her get closer to him, it would be too hard in September when she went back to school. If she didn't go back, if she stayed in Stars Hollow with him, eventually she'd resent him for it and that would kill him.

"Jess, not again, okay with this," she said, rolling off the bed and walking back and forth in front of the bed. "I can't help that way that I feel. I can't fix the mistake that I made when I sent you away, but I can atone for it and I want…"

"So that's what this is. The atonement of Rory Gilmore. I knew I'd figure it out eventually," Jess growled.

"Jess," she protested. "That's not what this is. This is just…I…you mean more to me than Yale or anything else does."

"You're a bad liar, Rory," Jess claimed. "You know Yale is important to you."

"It is," she replied. "But Yale doesn't need me. You need me," Rory told him.

"I don't need you. I have Luke," Jess snapped.

Rory didn't know how to respond to that. Part of her realized what Jess was doing, but more of her ached for the sweet Jess that was there just a moment ago and hurt for the terrible accusations he was making.

"Jess," she tried to reach out.

"Leave me alone, Rory! You and I both know that this is not about…once the novelty wears off…"

Rory exploded with anger and cut him off. "Why do you have to say that?! Why do you keep saying that? You know that's not true."

"It is true," Jess shouted back, biting his lip against a pain in his back. He wouldn't show it to her.

Rory felt like he had slapped her. If he really believed that, she wanted to cry. Instead, she stood her ground, and fought to keep her face from crumbling. With a deep breath and squared shoulders she said, "If you really believe that, Jess Mariano, then you don't know me at all."

With that statement, she turned away from him, grabbed her purse and slammed the door. Only with the finality of that slam, did Rory let her tears fall. Only with the finality of that slam did Jess let out a moan of pain, that for the first time since the accident was just as much emotional as it was physical.

Meanwhile, Lorelai arrived at her house and sure enough Luke was there on her front porch. He was sitting on the front stoop elbows on knees, head in hands.

"There you are. Jess and Rory were worried about you," Lorelai said sitting next to Luke on the step.

"Yeah, well it ain't rocket science where I went," Luke grumbled. "I'm not a mysterious man."

"No," Lorelai sighed. "No, you're not."

"When something's on my mind I run. I visit my Dad, and then I come here. Even when I'm not speaking to you," Luke marveled and lifted his face out of his hands.

"You want to talk about it. Jess told me a little bit but…" she trailed off.

"Jess doesn't know that half of it. That kid doesn't have the first damn clue," Luke groaned. "I'm broke, Lorelai. I'm almost completely out of money."

"Luke…"

"The medical policy only covered the initial ER bill. All the doctors, the therapist, both hospital stays…"

Lorelai held up her hand to stop the oncoming rant. "I get it, Luke. I do. What are you going to do? Can you get a loan? Mortgage the diner?'

Luke shook his head.

"Now's not the time to be stubborn, Luke," Lorelai scolded.

"I'm not being stubborn, Lorelai. I all ready mortgaged the diner. It's the only thing I had," Luke told her.

Lorelai sat stunned. "I don't know what to do to help you," she finally said.

"There's nothing to do, Lor. When the loan comes due and I can't pay it I'll lose the diner. I'll lose the business my father sweated over that his father opened," Luke shook his head.

"There's got to be something. You've always been so frugal with money," Lorelai reasoned.

"The bills Lorelai. They exceeded a quarter of million dollars. Because Jess isn't my kid and Liz doesn't have any policy…" Luke stopped and shook his head.

"I don't…" Lorelai began.

"Now this stupid thing with Taylor…" Luke sighed, tears beginning to burn his eyes. "I'm going to lose everything, Lorelai."

Lorelai heard the desperation in his voice. She saw the tears and pain in his eyes. This was Luke, strong reliable Luke who never cracked, never faltered and never failed to unconditionally provide support, love, and security, whatever she needed. That's what he needed now. Lorelai couldn't fail him.

She opened her arms and welcomed him into them allowing him to bury his cheek against her breast. Gently Lorelai ran her fingers through the soft hair on Luke's head, hair she seldom saw because of his cap. Lorelai held Luke's body so close she could feel every breath, every shudder. It wasn't a sob, more like a tremble. Luke wasn't sad, he was afraid and he was, for the first time trusting her with his nakedness.

Lorelai wasn't sure how long they stayed on that porch holding on to each other. Occasionally she'd whisper that everything was all right or that she was there for him. Finally, the tremble stopped and Lorelai's hold lessened. Luke pulled himself up into the sitting position and looked at Lorelai's face. He expected sympathy, pity even, but he never expected the pure naked love that he saw there.

Their eyes locked and held their gazed saying more than their voices ever could. Someone had to move, close the distance, and break the spell. Luke finally did that. He raised his hand to touch the soft white silk that was Lorelai's cheek. He threaded his fingers into the softness of her hair and pulled her lips closer to his finally slipping his bottom lip in between her full lips.

With infinite almost painful gentleness Luke caressed her lips with his. They were the ultimate in opposites, his hard to her soft, his bitter to her sweet, his push to her shove. It was perfection that kiss. It was perfection in light of terrible harsh truth, yet it promised nothing but hope. In that one kiss, years of feelings were shared, years of wounds healed, and years of questions were answered. That kiss marked a beginning as surely as that door slamming shut between Rory and Jess marked an end.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Luke and Lorelai were still reeling from their kiss when Rory came up on the house. She didn't even register that her mother was still holding Luke's hand in her lap or that both Luke and Lorelai's cheeks were flushed red.

Lorelai and Luke however did register Rory's mood and tears as she made her way into the house.

"Uh oh," Lorelai sighed. "Crying."

"Crying's not good," Luke stated

"No crying is not good," Lorelai confirmed. And if mine is crying, then…"

Luke sighed and rose. "Mine probably caused it."

"I wasn't going to say that, Luke," Lorelai defended.

"I know you weren't," Luke replied. "But odds are…"

Lorelai nodded, "Odds are."

Luke waited a beat, and then moved closer to Lorelai and gentle kissed her with his. "See you tomorrow?"

"Count on it," she replied and went into the house.

Rory went to the refrigerator and took out a gallon of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. She sat down at the table and began eating it right out of the carton. That's where Lorelai found her.

She sat down next to Rory. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Rory grumbled. "It's not really a big deal."

"It's a big enough deal to make you cry," Lorelai pointed out. "Did something happen with Jess?"

Rory jabbed the spoon into her ice cream and nodded. "Yes, Mom he…he just said such awful things."

"What kind of awful things, Babe?" Lorelai asked.

"Well, he said…it doesn't matter what he said, Mom. It doesn't even matter that none of it was true. What matters is he believes it," Rory cried wiping her eyes on a napkin.

"I need more," Lorelai said. "Start at the beginning. What happened after you left the diner?"

It dawned on Rory then who she and Jess left in charge of the diner. "Mom! Who's at the diner?"

"Oh, no!" Lorelai exclaimed realizing no one was at the diner. "Let's go you can tell me on the way."

While Lorelai and Rory made a mad dash for the diner, Luke made one for the Dragonfly. If Rory was upset she and Jess had a fight. If she and Jess had a fight, Jess was probably as upset as Rory was if not more so. On the way there, Luke stopped at the diner. It was empty except for Kirk and Sookie, who was behind his counter. On any normal day, Luke would have completely flipped to see Sookie behind his counter, today he just didn't care. In fact he didn't care if he had a normal day ever again.

Luke unlocked the door to find Jess' wheelchair vacant. That was no surprise he often chose to lie down during the day to relieve the pain in his back. Thus, Luke went into Jess' room.

Jess was in bed fully clothed lying on his side. He had his back to the door and was quiet except for an occasional light moan when he tried to shift position.

Luke carefully sat on the bed. "Back hurt?" he asked.

"Don't matter," Jess replied, his voice hoarse.

"It does matter," Luke countered. "I could get you a pill or something."

"The pills don't work," Jess replied.

"What happened with Rory?" Luke asked, no longer waiting for silent Jess to bring it up.

"Nothing," was the reply.

"I know something happened," Luke argued. "I was at Lorelai's. She came home crying."

"Guess the truth hurts," Jess replied.

Luke was even more confused. "The truth about what?"

"I really don't want to talk about this. Rory and I are finished. It's for her own good. Leave it at that."

"Sorry. Can't leave it at that," Luke protested. "Rory was obviously upset. You are obviously upset. What happened to make you that way?"

"We broke up," Jess snapped.

"Why?" Luke pressed. "Talk to me, Jess."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you. You don't talk to me so why should I talk to you?" Jess questioned.

"If I talked to you, would you talk to me?" Luke asked. He needed to talk just as much as Jess did.

Jess couldn't answer. He wanted to talk to Luke. He wanted to tell him what Rory said about Yale and about his answer. He wanted to tell him why he did what he did. He knew Luke would understand. He also knew his uncle would tell him what an idiot he was. Maybe though, talking to Luke would help the pain go away. Not the pain in his back, only Rory could help that. Jess meant the pain in his heart.

"Sure," he replied, executing a maneuver to rollover and sit up. "You first. What's the deal with Taylor? Kirk told me he's suing you."

Luke sighed. "Yes, Taylor is suing me."

"Why?" Jess prompted. Luke was not good at heart to hearts.

"Because…because the day before I checked you out of St. Barbara's I heard a vicious rumor come out of Taylor's mouth. He was telling everybody I was using the diner's profits to pay your hospital bills."

"Which you were," Jess confirmed. "That's your income."

"Yes, I was using it to pay your hospital bills, just like I was using it to pay my other bills," Luke replied. "Somehow, Taylor convinced the good people of Stars Hollow that if they gave me money by patronizing the diner, they'd be paying for your medical care," Luke replied. He wasn't sure he wanted to go on. He didn't want to hurt Jess' feelings. But his nephew did want the truth. He felt that he owed him that.

"As they would," he affirmed. "The diner's your income." Jess was having trouble locating the problem.

"Once again, you are correct," Luke replied. "Taylor convinced the citizens that to give me their money in exchange for my services would be hypocritical."

"I think Taylor should invest in a dictionary," Jess quipped.

Luke sighed. This next part would really upset Jess. "He convinced them it would be hypocritical because by giving me their money…"

Luke couldn't finish the thought. He didn't have to, Jess all ready got the drift. "By giving you their money, they'd be helping me. And since they all hate me…I get it now," Jess' shoulders slumped a bit. "So you punched him for that?"

Luke shook his head. "I was too shocked to punch him for that."

"So why did you punch him?" Jess asked.

"Later, I relayed the story to Rory and Lorelai and apparently…" Luke chuckled a bit at the memory. "Rory got pretty angry at Taylor and went to confront him. I wasn't paying attention and didn't notice that she left. Anyway, long story short Taylor drags Rory back, manhandles her, insults Lorelai…then I punched him."

Jess listened to Luke's words. His uncle was being sued for defending his honor, his girlfriend's honor, and Lorelai. Of course, Lorelai, she was his uncle's Achilles heel. Jess nodded in response. "Thanks."

"Thanks? For what?" Luke was confused.

"For defending me," he replied. "No one ever did that before."

"Except Rory," Luke reminded him.

Jess' eyes glazed over at the sound of Rory's name. His heart hurt at the loss of her love ad affection, his back hurt from the stress and he craved her tenderness. Luke noticed his nephew's silence.

"Jess, what is it? What happened between you and Rory?" Luke asked.

Jess knew it was his turn to talk. Luke had been straight with him, now he had to hold up his end of the bargain.

"I love her," Jess confessed. "I love her too much to let her throw her life away on me. I can't let her give Yale up for me."

"I know you love her," Luke replied. "But what's this about Yale?"

"Rory told me she was giving up Yale. She talked about transferring to UCONN or to SCS so she could take care of me. I couldn't let her do that," Jess confessed his voice choked with tears he was no longer embarrassed to shed.

"So what did she say when you told her that?" Luke asked.

"She didn't…I didn't exactly tell her that I told her I didn't…that I didn't need her and that…there's no point in going over this," Hess sighed his voice breaking. "I had to do it, Uncle Luke. I had to…" He trailed off and let his first tears fall. "I had to leave her, if I didn't leave her she would have left me. And I don't think I could have handled that."

Luke, since Jess was six years old, had never seen his nephew cry. Once just after his Dad left him and Luke went to New York to see about Liz and Jess that little boy cried the entire time he was there for his Daddy, and then never cried in his uncle's presence or anyone else's presence again.

Thus, Luke wasn't sure what to do when he saw the tears on Jess' face. If this were Lorelai or Rory he'd know what to do, hold and comfort, but with Jess that concept was foreign, he wasn't sure how his private nephew would respond to physical comfort.

Luke let his paternal instinct take over and put his arms around his nephew. Luke didn't know what reaction he would get from Jess, so when he felt Jess hold on to him in return Luke couldn't help but be a bit shocked.

Luke knew what Jess was feeling. He'd let go of Lorelai so many times as a gesture of love and it killed him. That pain must be ten times as bed in Jess. He had Rory back. He had the girl of his dreams in his arms and he let her go out of what he believed was love for her.

Luke moved his hand up and down on Jess back in a gesture of comfort until Jess relaxed. "You okay now?"

Jess nodded. "Was she really upset?"

Luke nodded. "She seemed it. I'm sure Lorelai took care of her."

"Yeah, I bet she'll start hating me again," Jess sighed.

"Actually, I think Lorelai will understand, Jess. She knows you want what's best for Rory," Luke comforted.

"I'm getting really tired," Jess said in response to that comment, effectively ending the conversation. "I need to sleep."

Luke nodded. "All right. You get your rest in. I need to get back to the diner before I have to pay medical bills for Sookie."

Jess let his body drop and pushed himself down with his hands. "See you later, Uncle Luke."

"Sleep well, Jess," Luke said before he left, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Over June and part of July Luke and Lorelai tried to get Jess and Rory to communicate with each other. Luke talked to Rory, tried to convince her that Jess only said what he said so she would continue her education and reach her goals.

Lorelai talked to Jess. She tried to convince him that Rory loved him enough to sacrifice Yale for him and if he didn't ask her to, if he only permitted her to she would not resent him. Neither adult made a dent.

Rory wanted an apology from Jess and Jess stubbornly refused to admit that he did no believe what he said was true and thus refused to "beg" for Rory's attention and forgiveness.

Lorelai ached for her daughter; she saw how deeply Rory was suffering being in Stars Hollow with Jess so close. She saw him often either at the Inn or at the diner, and after each encounter Rory would become a puddle of tears.

Luke hurt for Jess just as much as Lorelai hurt for Rory. Each day he watched as Jess grew weaker grew more tired, grew more withdrawn. He started out working in the diner as much as he could, going to therapy steadily, and doing as much on his own as possible.

Over time however Jess' hours became more erratic, he couldn't tolerate being in public view he claimed. Jess slowed his therapy from five days t three, then eventually to none. It was useless, too expensive, and caused him too much pain, he claimed. There was truth to both of those statements, but the reality was with Rory out of his life, by his own hand, he felt lonely and depressed. He just didn't have the will to fight anymore. So most days now, Jess remained in the room at the inn, in his bed, in the dark, shut off from everyone around him.

If it's conceivable that anything good could possibly come out of the rift between Jess and Rory, it was the joining of Lorelai and Luke.

Luke supported Lorelai as she hurt for her child and tried to help Rory and Jess reunite. Lorelai hurt for Luke as he watched Jess withdraw and weaken. She hurt for him as he watched his livelihood slip away, when business in the diner did not pick up and the mortgage bills came due. Luke saw that if he kept breaking even he could hold onto the building that meant so much to him, but if business fell off anymore or a sudden expense came up, he'd never be able to pay the loan up to date. Lorelai stood by Luke as he fought to keep his head above water, and she hated seeing what that was doing to Luke physically.

Luke who was never sick once in ten years, got three severe colds in six weeks. He lost weight, his skin lost it's healthy glow, and his tongue lost it's razor sharp edge. Finally, there was no real Luke left, only a shadow of the man everyone head known and taken for granted.

Luke relied on Lorelai a lot more now. He relied on her to help with Jess, to help out in the diner, and o on, and this only because of their developing relationship and Lorelai's careful and tactful manipulations.

By the end of July, Rory realized she could not stay in Stars Hollow as long as Jess was there. It hurt her too much to see what was happening to him and to know she could not help him, because he could not or would not accept her help. Thus, Rory signed up for a three week seminar on journalistic integrity at Yale.

Lorelai understood Rory's need to get away from Stars Hollow and encouraged her to use the time to reexamine her feelings for Jess. Lorelai told her to think about her feelings and determine if they became any less strong when she didn't see Jess everyday. If they did, then she'd simply have to take her time to get over him. If they didn't, she was doomed to be at his side forever whether they admitted it or not.

Ironically, it was the night that Rory left for Yale that all Hell broke lose in Stars Hollow. Luke had loaned Lorelai his truck to help relocate Rory's stuff to Yale. She returned it to the diner, to find the place as usual empty save Luke.

Luke heard the door open and turned to see Lorelai come inside. She held up the keys to the truck and smiled. "I'm back, and this time there's no mattress in the back."

Luke smiled and moved around the counter. Lorelai looked at Luke's color, it was even paler than the new usual and he kept massaging his left shoulder.

"Luke, are you all right?" she asked worry eteched on her face.

Luke saw the fear there and tried to soothe it away. "I'm fine, Lorelai," he comforted taking her in his arms. "I'm just tired. How are you holding up?"

Lorelai burrowed closer to Luke's chest resting her head in the crook of his arm. "I'm tired. I'm glad though that she went back. She needs Jess, but she has to realize that. She has to realize she loves him even when he's out of her sight. I'm going to miss her though."

Luke caressed her forehead with his lips. "I know, but maybe she'll come home on the weekends. Or maybe she'll still change schools."

"She wants to, Luke," Lorelai confessed. "She wants to stay here, care for Jess, be with him, but not until he apologized for saying what he said."

Lorelai pulled away and sat on a stool. Luke poured her a cup of coffee. "He calls out for her every night," Luke confessed. "Every night around the same time he wakes up with the spasms and of course I get up, go to him, and he's calling out for Rory."

Lorelai sighed, "How are they both so stubborn?"

"They're our kids," Luke pointed out. "You and I can be pretty thick headed. Look how long it took us to…you know."

"Yeah," Lorelai nodded. "It took us pretty damn long, did it?"

Luke looked at her with emotion in his eyes. "Too long. But we found it didn't we?" he asked running a finger down her arm before closing for a kiss.

"Yeah, we did," she agreed as the kiss ended. "You want to go home? Get some rest?"

Luke unconsciously massaged his shoulder again. "Yeah, maybe a hot shower can get rid of this pain. I must have pulled something," he justified with a little cough.

Lorelai had a sick feeling in her stomach. Luke didn't look well, his cough didn't sound good, and he kept massaging his shoulder. Lorelai's mind recognized a connection between those symptoms unconsciously, but consciously she only saw a weakening of her knight in plaid.

"All right, Luke," Lorelai capitulated. "Can I get a ride home?"

"Sure," he smiled and quickly set about locking up.

Jess was in bed reading when Luke returned home for the night. "Hey, where have you been? It's late."

"I had to wait for Lorelai. She borrowed the truck," Luke replied not mentioning why because Jess sensed it all ready.

"How are things with you two?" Jess asked his mood higher than it had been in six weeks.

"Fine," Luke replied. "Slow but sure," he grinned.

"Don't mess it up, Uncle Luke. Lorelai's really something," Jess said seemingly out of nowhere. "Like Rory," he added.

"She'll be back in three weeks," Luke comforted.

"Doesn't matter," Jess grumbled, slipping back into his mood as quickly as he slipped out of it. He lay down on his side, "We're over."

Normally Luke would argue with Jess. He would point out how stubborn he was being and how much his silence was hurting Rory, but tonight he was too tired to argue again, so he simply said, "Goodnight, Jess."

Luke went to the small table where he paid bills and tried to make the minimal income he was receiving stretch to be enough to pay the doctors, the suppliers, and the mortgage. He'd all ready received one late payment notice from the bank on that subject.

As Luke picked through the mail he noticed an envelope from Stars Hollow Savings and Loan amongst the junk and other unpaid bills. The pain he'd been feeling in his chest intensified as he opened the envelope and read the words on the page.

As he read those words, he felt as if he had no air. He felt as if he could not breathe. The letter was telling him in black and white what he all ready knew. He was losing it. If he couldn't pay the loan up to date in 30 days, he would lose the diner. He would lose his business his livelihood, the only link to his father he had left. He couldn't let that happen.

Luke didn't know what time it was or how long he sat and stared at the paper. It must have been a pretty long time because eventually the words got blurry so much he could no longer read them. His chest felt tight and breathing seemed exhausting work.

When Luke was younger he was prone to panic attacks in new or intense situations. This felt like that only his chest hurt; it ached like something was squeezing his heart. He needed fresh air, he needed a bit of cool Connecticut air then he'd be all right.

Luke tried to rise but his legs wouldn't support him, he felt dizzy and went down like a ton of bricks to the floor of the room, the ability to breath completely leaving him.

He knew he had to try and get Jess' attention. He knew he had to get help soon, because the connection that Lorelai had unconsciously made, Luke was beginning to draw consciously. This was no panic attack; this was an attack of a far more serious nature.

With the last amount of strength he had and what felt like the last bit of oxygen Luke called out for his nephew. The word seemed soundless and Luke prayed Jess heard him. "Please God let him hear me," was his last conscious thought.

Jess couldn't sleep try as he might. The pain in his back was as intense as ever, overshadowed only by the pain in his heart. He missed Rory so badly it physically hurt. The only thing that made his pitiful existence tolerable was Luke. His uncle had showed him more love and compassion than he deserved. That almost made him want to try harder, but that desire was always superceded by a cold hard fact. The therapy required cost more money than Luke had to give.

Jess was not a religious boy, not at all, but if there was a God in Heaven he had to thank him for blessing him with an Uncle Luke.

At that moment Jess heard a sound. It sounded like a chair scraping the floor, then as if someone fell. "Uncle Luke!" he called out and waited for the answering footsteps. When none came Jess tried to get his wheelchair close enough to get into. He had to check, maybe Luke stepped outside, but he had to see to settle the knots in his stomach.

Jess was almost in his chair when he heard a sound that if it had any strength behind it would be his name. "Hold on Luke," Jess called out. "I'm coming."

Jess didn't even bother to put his legs on the foot rests before he unlocked the wheels and opened the door. Jess' own heart skipped a beat when he saw Luke on the floor cheeks a deathly shade of while, lips a sickening shade of blue.

"Oh my God!" Jess exclaimed and moved his chair so he could see his uncle's chest. Luke's eyes were closed and Jess couldn't tell if there was the telltale rise and fall that indicated breath.

Jess wasn't normally prone to panic, but seeing that everything he ever knew went out of his head. He could remember his mother teaching him as a young boy, "Phone first, phone fast." What he couldn't remember was who to call.

In a crisis, there was only one number to dial, and that number belonged to Luke. Now Luke needed the help, so who to call now.

Suddenly the light clicked on in Jess' head. He knew now who to call, who would be able to help. He grabbed the phone and dialed.

Lorelai ran from her shower to get the phone expecting it to be Rory. "Hello," she answered breathlessly.

"Lorelai," Jess squeaked out. He could barely form words.

"Jess. What's wrong?" Lorelai asked her mind working to think why Jess would be so upset.

"Lorelai, it's Luke," he managed. "You have to come. He's un…he's on the floor and he's pale and…Come please come."

Lorelai took a deep breath to calm herself. Jess needed her to be calm; Luke needed her to be calm. "Jess, call an ambulance. I'm on my way."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

The ambulance arrived before Lorelai and took Luke to the county hospital. Jess anxiously waited for Lorelai to arrive. She was no more than five minutes behind the ambulance, but for Jess it felt like eternity.

"Jess!" Lorelai exclaimed as she rushed in. "What happened? Where's Luke?"

"The ambulance came," Jess replied, his voice shaky and uneven. "I don't know what happened. I was going to bed when I heard a thud so I started getting into my chair to check. Then, I'm not sure but I think I heard him call my name. When I found him..." Jess couldn't finish. It was too hard to remember.

'What hospital did they take him to, Sweetie?" Lorelai asked. She was struggling too but she had to be strong for Jess.

"County," he managed.

"Come on then," Lorelai urged. "I borrowed Babette's car. It's nice and low."

Jess nods and moves his wheelchair to the waiting car in silence, his stomach in knots. His mind is whirring with a thousand worries. He could not bear to lose Luke, who'd become so important to him since he moved to Stars Hollow, but seeing him on that stretcher with oxygen in his nose and EKG strips on his chest made that possibility very real.

Lorelai is quiet as well, fear for Luke gripping her heart. Jess was so unglued at the sight, his hands were shaking and his voice was hitched. Lorelai could not lose Luke, not now that she'd found him. She should have seen the signs, and now that this happened the signals connected in her head; the pallor, the exhaustion, the pain in his arm. If only she'd seen it before.

They arrived at the hospital in record time. Lorelai parked the car and helped Jess into his wheelchair. Together they approached the admitting nurse.

"Hello, I'm Lorelai Gilmore. This is Jess Mariano. We're her with Luke Danes. He came in by ambulance." As Lorelai talked with the nurse her fear started to show. Her voice began to crack and her steady gaze faltered.

The nurse looked in the computer the asked, "Are you a relative?"

"I'm his nephew," Jess spoke up. "She's his girlfriend."

"Mr. Danes is awaiting admission to the CCU. His doctor will be out shortly. They may need some family history from you, Mr. Mariano. For now, you can wait by the yellow chairs."

Lorelai and Jess moved to the waiting area, and Lorelai sat down heavily. "I can't believe this. I should have seen it," Lorelai accosted herself.

"You couldn't have, Lorelai. Luke didn't want you to," Jess soothed. "If anyone should have, I should have. I live with him."

Sadly, Lorelai shook her head. "We won't help anyone if we do this," Lorelai sighed. "There's no fault here."

Jess thought about that a moment. There was fault here; it just didn't rest with him or Lorelai. "Oh yes, there is," Jess scowled. "This is all Taylor's doing. If he didn't start..."

"Jess, please, don't get upset. It won't help Luke," Lorelai comforted. "Or you."

They lapsed into silence again, Lorelai taking Jess' hand in a maternal gesture while they waited for the doctor. Finally after nearly an hour the doctor emerged and called out, "Relative of Lucas Danes. I'm looking for the relatives of Lucas Danes."

"Right here," Lorelai called out, raising her hand. "He and I."

The doctor came over to them and introduced himself. "Hello, I'm Dr. Hagan. I'm an ER attending physician. If you'll follow me to my office..."

The doctor led Lorelai and Jess behind the nurses' desk to a small cubicle that couldn't really be called an office and sat behind the desk. "Miss Gilmore, Mr. Mariano..." he began. "Let me begin by saying that Mr. Danes is still with us. He had a very serious myocardial infarction."

"Excuse me? A what?" Jess asked. The medical jargon was lost on him.

"It's a fancy way of saying heart attack," the doctor clarified.

"Heart attack?" Lorelai was shocked. "Luke? Luke's like the healthiest eater I know."

"These attacks don't necessarily have to do with eating habits," the doctor said. "There are numerous causes. We suspect Mr. Danes' attack was caused by high blood pressure and stress.

"Because Mr. Danes was unconscious when he came in we don't have an accurate medical history. Do either of you know if anyone in the family had a heart condition or had high blood pressure?"

Lorelai sighed. "Both of Luke's parents died young and of cancer," she told the doctor. "If they'd lived later on who knows."

"My mom took Lipitor. And didn't Uncle Louie die of a heart attack?" Jess provided.

"Yes!" Lorelai snapped her fingers. "Good!" She blushed at her outburst.

"So, it is safe to assume Mr. Danes has a genetic predisposition to heart trouble," Dr. Hagan stated.

"I suppose so," Jess replied a bit sarcastically.

"Well, Dr. Hagan," Lorelai began. "How is her? Is he out of danger? Does he need surgery?"

"I never like to intervene surgically unless necessary," Dr. Hagan stated. "We used drug therapy to correct the issue that was causing the problem. Now, the attack was very serious and he has a long road ahead of him. He's still very weak and has not regained full consciousness. It's not likely he will until his body rests and recoups the oxygen it lost. Everything I've seen does indicate recovery."

Lorelai and Jess both breathed sighs of relief at the positive prognosis.

"When can we see him?" Jess asked.

Dr. Hagan was sympathetic. This young man was obviously upset by the events as was the woman at his side. "You can sit with him. He's in the CCU unit, cubicle three."

Lorelai thanked the doctor and she and Jess went to the cardiac unit. The man in the bed looked nothing like Luke. He was pale, nearly as white as the sheet, and he had a dozen tubes and wires around him. The heart monitor he was attached to beat steadily now that the strong medicine was correcting the malfunctions of his heart.

Jess froze at the doorway, not prepared for the sigh. "That was how I must have looked," he thought. Then asked, "Lorelai you want coffee or water or Pez?"

Lorelai knew this dance; she did it when her Dad was in the hospital. Hell, she even did it when jess was in after the accident. Rory was the Florence Nightingale. Rory, she had to call Rory.

"Um, no I'm good," Lorelai replied. "But Jess..."

"Don't okay. I know we have to call Rory. She's like his daughter or something. She has to know," Jess said. "You should call her."

Lorelai nodded. "I'll do that. Why don't you..." She nodded in Luke's direction.

"Um, yeah. Why don't I?" Then Jess moved to Luke's side without further hesitation.

Rory had been bummed since she arrived at school. She didn't want to be her; she wanted to be with Jess in Stars Hollow. Only he didn't want her there and know that and seeing him everyday hurt too much.

When Rory's cell phone ran, she contemplated not answering it. She didn't feel like talking and it was getting late. In fact, the late hour was the only reason she chose to answer her phone.

"Hello," she sighed.

"Rory," Lorelai's voice was husky with tears.

"Mom? Mom, what's the matter? You sound awful." Immediately Rory's mind listed reasons her mom would call her upset. She came up with only three, something happened to her Dad, to her grandparents, or to Jess. "Is it Dad? Grandma or Grandpa? Jess? What?"

"No, um, Rory, are you sitting...um, I'm at the hospital, the county hospital," Lorelai stuttered.

"Mom, what happened? Are you all right?" Rory was starting to panic.

"I will be, Sweetie. I'm calling because Luke..."

"You're called for Luke?" Rory assumed it was for Luke, not about Luke. Nothing could ever happen to Luke. "Then its Jess isn't it? Did he fall? Is he sick? Tell me, what?"

"Rory, Jess if fine. He's a little upset, but he'd fine," Lorelai assured her. "Luke had a heart attack."

"Mom, that is not funny!" Rory harshly scolded.

Lorelai's voice cracked at Rory's comment. "Rory, I'm not kidding. I'm at the county hospital right now. Luke is in CCU right now."

"Oh my God!" Rory exclaimed. She still could not believe it. "Oh my God! I'm coming home. Should I come straight to the hospital?"

"Um, yeah. Jess and I will probably be here all night," Lorelai responded.

"Mom, Jess can't stay up that long. He needs..."

Lorelai cut Rory off. "Rory until Luke wakes up, neither of us is going home. Don't even go there with Jess tonight. I'm going to go sit with Luke. I'm sure Jess would love to see you."

"Tell him I'm coming home," said Rory. "And tell him I...tell Luke and Jess I love them."

"I will. I love you, Sweets," Lorelai said.

"Me too," Rory affirmed before hanging up.

While Lorelai was on the phone, Jess sat by Luke's side. Gentle he touched his uncle's hand. It was cold and clammy.

"Hey, Uncle Luke," Jess said with a hint of awkwardness. "I'm here. They finally let me in."

Luke's eyes fluttered opened at the sound of Jess' voice. He looked around for a moment the slurred, "Lorelai?"

Jess moved his hand up and down Luke's arm. "She's calling Rory. She'll be right in."

"What happened?" Luke's voice was slurred from the medication and weak from the cardiac event. It scared Jess a little.

"You collapsed at home. The doctors are running tests," Jess lied. He wasn't sure if Luke could handle the news.

"My chest hurts. It's hard to breathe," Luke said.

"I know. You just relax," Jess comforted. Luke had been a great comfort to him in the hospital.

Luke didn't' answer. He closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

Lorelai came in a few minutes later. Jess was holding Luke's hand.

"How is he?" Lorelai asked joining Jess.

"He was awake for a few minutes. He seems so weak," Jess told her. "He asked for you."

"Yeah? You asked for Rory," Lorelai reminded him.

"Luke loves you very much," Jess said. "He has for a long time."

Lorelai was quiet for a moment then and studied Luke's face. She loved him too and she hoped their relationship would continue to grow, she hoped they'd have a chance to see where it could take them.

"I know," she replied her voice cracking. "We wasted so much time. I hope...what if we don't..." Lorelai never finished her sentence. The tears started to flow and Lorelai's shoulders shook with sobs, all of her fear for Luke pouring out of her. Jess watched her awkwardly for a moment, the moved closer to Lorelai.

"Lorelai, you can't think like that. You should stay positive," Jess comforted gently touching her hand. "You were the only one who stayed positive after the accident. You believed in me, you still do. You have to believe in Luke, and in yourself."

Lorelai sniffled and squeezed Jess' hand. "I know that, but I'm so scared. I mean this is Luke and he's...and he's never been really sick, not in all these years." She wiped her eyes with her hand. "Look at this, I should be comforting you. I'm the parent."

"I haven't had a parent for a long time," Jess said. "Luke was the closet I got to it since Dad left."

"What about Liz?"

"Liz was drunk or stoned most of my childhood. She never cared what I did or what I needed. I guess that's why I acted up," Jess sighed and ran a comforting had through Lorelai's hair.

Lorelai looked at Luke. "Then why...?"

"Why?" Jess shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I figured once the novelty..."

"You've got to get another word," Lorelai scolded.

"I know," he sighed. "It's just my whole life I've been a novelty, something you play with, get all excited about, then forget about," Jess admitted. "You never really get over that, you know?"

Now it was Lorelai's turn to offer comfort. Gently, she pressed Jess' head against her chest, a pure mothering gesture. "I know. That is like spending your life with everyone waiting for you to screw up. I can sympathize," Lorelai sighed. "But Jess, Luke loves you, he wants you to do well and achieve great things. Rory, oh Jess, as must as I hated to admit it, she loves you. You make her happy. Do what's best for yourself and for her when she comes back. Tell her you love her, Jess. I know you do."

Jess pulled away from Lorelai. "I do," Jess agreed. "But I need her not to see me as broken. Until that happens...and until you can really accept me..."

"I do accept you, Jess. You've grown up. You've matured, but most importantly, you're in love with my daughter. You won't let anything happen to her, I know that now," Lorelai affirmed.

Jess never to a chance to respond, Luke moaned in the bed, his eyes fluttering opened again. "Lorelai? Lorelai?" His voice held a hint of urgency.

"I'm here, Luke," Lorelai moved into his line of vision. "What is it?"

"What happened? Where am I?" Luke asked.

"You're at the county hospital..." Lorelai was cut off by Luke's moan of pain as he tried to get up.

'No, no hospital. I have to be at the diner," he told her.

"No, you don't. You've had a heart attack. You need to stay in the hospital," Lorelai gently scolded. "I almost lost you today."

"But the mortgage..."

"Don't worry about the mortgage. I'll take care of everything," Lorelai comforted. "You rest now." She caressed his cheek. "Close your eyes."

Luke let Lorelai's touch lull him to sleep. Jess watched them, the tenderness that existed there, and the silent communication that those two shared. Lorelai understood Luke's fears by looking in his eyes. Luke received her message of comfort, assured of her honesty without her spoken words. Jess studied this and felt a pain in his own chest. He had had that with Rory and he missed that. He missed her, terribly. Lorelai was right. As long as he loved, Rory and Rory loved him they could work out the rest.

Jess' thoughts were interrupted by Rory's voice. The sound was beautiful, soft; gentle...He'd missed it. "Mom! Jess! How is he?"

"Hey, Babe," Lorelai greeted. "He's resting. He was just awake."

"Good. That's good." Rory looked at Jess, not sure what to say to him or how to approach him. Lorelai noticed her daughter's uneasiness.

"Rory. Jess. Could you go on a coffee hunt? I need a fix and I don't want to leave Luke," Lorelai asked.

"Um, sure," Rory replied and moved toward the door. "After you."

Jess moved toward the door and left first. Rory followed. They went along in silence for a moment before Rory asked, "What happened?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I heard a thud and I wanted to go check it out. Then I think I heard him call my name, but I'm not sure, the sound was so...By the time I got out to the living area, he was unconscious," Jess replied. He stopped the moved of his chair to reach into his pocket. "I saw this in his hand. I didn't show it to Lorelai. I figured she'd totally freak."

Rory took the page from Jess and read the words. "Jess, this is a foreclosure notice for the diner. This is bad."

I know it's bad, Rory. I think that's what caused..." He let the sentence fall away.

Rory nodded. "Jess...I think we...I think I can fix this." She held up the notice.

"No, Rory. Don't ask your grandparents for the money," Jess told her.

"What else is there to do? We...I can't let Luke lose the diner. And you shouldn't want that either," Rory said. "Pride is what got us here."

Jess didn't reply either way and Rory knew that meant he approved. They started moving again following the signs for the cafeteria. There was an awkward silence between them and Jess knew that he had to be the one to apologize for what had happened between them; after all, it had been his fault. He took a deep breath.

"Rory, listen. The last time we talked...We...I really said a lot of stupid things. I know none of it was true, but I couldn't let you give up Yale..."

Rory cut him off. "I told you. You're more important that Yale. I..."

Jess started again reaching for her hand. "I know, but you are more important than me. I have to put you first. I must put you first. I know what it's like to be pushed in the background," Jess paused for breath. "I realize now that you and Luke won't' do that, I know you aren't' going to do that."

Rory knelt so her tear-filled eyes met Jess' gaze. "I love you, Jess and I'm not going to leave you. You have to trust me on that. Please trust me on that."

"I do," Jess replied touching her cheek. "Can you forgive me for how awful I was? I want this to work. I want us to work."

"I do too," Rory agreed. "So let's make a pact. You try not to doubt me or put yourself down and I'll try not to baby you or quit my school because of you."

Jess smiled at that. That was all he'd wanted. "Deal," he smiled and kissed Rory's lips.

Rory rose to her full height again. "What was that for?"

Jess moved forward and opened the cafeteria door. "Seal it with a kiss, of course."

"We should make deals more often."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Rory and Jess arrived at the Gilmore house late Thursday night after long hours at the hospital. Luke was doing better, but was still very tired and weak and he slept most of the time they were at the hospital. His doctors said he'd have to remain in the hospital at least another week.

The next day was Friday. Earlier in the week Lorelai had spoken to Emily and Richard about Luke's heart attack and that she intended to stay at his side until he was stronger. The elder Gilmores understood and said they'd be happy to see Rory for Friday night dinner. Little did they know she was bringing Jess.

"I'm still not sure it's the best idea to spring this on your grandparents," Jess said as Rory helped lift his legs into bed that night.

"Jess, either way they'll probably say no," Rory sighed. "But after last time…"

Jess touched her arm as she finished pulling up the covers over his legs, "I promise you it won't be like last time."

Rory giggled as she recalled the story Jess had recently relayed. "I still can't believe you got beaked."

"That's why I didn't tell you," Jess defended. "You're still laughing at me."

"It's funny," Rory justified sitting beside him on the bed. "You comfortable?" she asked.

"Yes" he nodded. "I'll be more comfortable with you next to me."

Rory blushed at the memory. "Last night was nice."

"Yes it was," he leaned in to kiss her. "Get changed. I'll be here."

Rory had slept beside Jess the previous night, his arms around her, holding her close. When Jess back spasmed and he awoke in pain, Rory awoke with him, held his hands until he relaxed and the muscles relaxed.

It killed Rory to see Jess in that kind of pain and the long hours in the wheelchair and the stress of Luke's illness and the foreclosure of the diner didn't make it easier on him.

Rory prayed her grandparents would understand. She prayed they'd understand how special the diner was to Luke, how much she and Jess needed their help. If the diner was lost, Rory feared Luke would be lost with it. That place was his family, his father's legacy; they couldn't let Luke lose that.

Meanwhile, across town Lorelai was keeping her vigil at Luke's bedside. He was sleeping again, his left hand was cradled inside hers. It was pale, his face was pale, his entire body was weak and pale and that scared Lorelai to death. Luke was not weak, he was strong he was her rock, everyone's rock, but now…All Lorelai wanted was for him to be all right, to recover and for things to be normal again. The piece of paper in her hand through meant that would never be; nothing would ever be the same again.

Lorelai lifted Luke's hand and kissed it, tears stinging her eyes and streaming down her cheeks. She would have to tell him there was no choice in that. Lorelai's fear though was that would literally be the nail in his coffin.

Lorelai heard the click of heels on the hospital floor. It was a common sound here, many of the men on this floor had successful wives that wore heels 24 hours a day so the sound of the heels did not startle her, but the voice that belongs to them did.

"Lorelai," Emily greeted her daughter in her customary way. Lorelai looked up at the door, not even trying to hide her tears.

"Hi, Mom," she said, her voice husky with emotion.

"Lorelai, how is Luke?" Emily asked noting her baby's tears and as any mother would in spite of their complicated relationship.

"He's better. He's sleeping," Lorelai replied wiping her eyes. "Um, I don't want to disturb him."

Emily looked a bit upset. She's come to see her daughter. She'd known for a long time that Lorelai and Luke had a very special relationship. She had known from Rory's sixteenth birthday that the two were in love. Lorelai's pain at Luke's illness only confirmed it.

Emily remembered when Richard was in the hospital. Thank God it was only angina, but it tore her apart. Luke while younger was in a far more serious condition. It had to be Hell for her daughter and she wanted to be a mother to her child and help her through it.

"Oh," Emily sighed. "All right. I just…"

Lorelai rose and cut her off. "I just meant maybe we could talk over coffee."

Emily couldn't help but give Lorelai a small smile. "The cafeteria looked nice," she replied and waited for Lorelai to precede her down the hallway.

On their way to the cafeteria Lorelai left word with Luke's nurse as to where she would be in case he'd awaken and need her.

Once they were seated in the cafeteria Emily broke the heavy silence. "I don't understand it, Lorelai. Luke was always so health conscious."

"I know but his doctors say its genetic. His parents both died young of cancer, but stil…" Lorelai trailed off and wiped her eyes. "He isn't getting better, Mom and when I tell…"

Lorelai couldn't continue. She couldn't ask her mother that kind of favor twice. It was best Emily didn't know.

"Tell what?" Emily asked. "Is there something else?"

"Um, it's Jess," Lorelai fibbed. "He's still being really stubborn about his therapy and… Jess' condition is very hard for Luke," Lorelai confessed. "Even more than Rory I think. It's a complex Luke has." She sipped her coffee.

"I never liked Jess much but I admit I do admire his courage," Emily stated. "Especially when it comes to his encouraging Rory to continue at Yale."

"Jess loves Rory, Mom," Lorelai said simply. "It's killing him seeing Luke like this. He blames himself."

Lorelai studied her hands; the foreclosure notice was still there as if she couldn't put it down. If Luke saw that paper tears began just thinking about it.

Emily followed her daughter's eyes, her tears and her gaze fell on the page in Lorelai's hand. In therapy with Richard, Emily learned not to push or pry so she didn't ask about its contents.

Instead as Lorelai's tears grew into sobs she moved to put her arms around her daughter. "It'll be all right Lorelai," she murmured the at of comforting foreign to her.

"I can't lose him, Mommy," she sobbed. "I need him. He…I need him and I'm losing him and I don't know…he'd never let this happen to me," she sobbed. "How could I let this happen?"

"Lorelai," Emily admonished. "You couldn't have known this would happen. It was jut one of those things. Luke knows that and you know that."

Lorelai sniffed, her mother's words not completely registering in her head. "And now when he finds out about the diner, that will kill him, Mom."

Emily was about to question that comment when the nurse from Luke's floor came for Lorelai. "Ms. Gilmore, Mr. Danes is awake. He wants to see you."

"Thank you, Sarah," Lorelai smiled. "I better get back." Lorelai quickly rose, but before she left she embraced her mother. "Thanks Mom. Rory and Jess will see you tomorrow night and I'll call you during the week."

"All right, Lorelai," Emily said. "Give Luke our best."

Emily watched Lorelai walk away. For the first time in many years, she felt like a mother. She felt as if Lorelai needed needed her support and it felt good to be in that toel again. In fact, Emily was pretty certain that was one of the most maternal moments in her relationship with her daughter and that connection uplifted her. It was a very precious moment, so precious Lorelai's comment about Jess accompanied Rory was lost on her.

Lorelai smiled as she entered Luke's room. "Hey, you're awake."

"Yeah," he said, his voice hoarse from disuse and soft from his weakness. "You're usually here when I wake up," he said. "What's wrong?" he asked noticing the tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Nothing," Lorelai said. "I just…it's just difficult seeing you in the hospital."

"Not much fun on my end either," Luke sighed. "I'm the one who's afraid of hospitals."

"I know," Lorelai whispered. "How are you feeling? Any pain?"

"Chest is still a bit sore, but I'm not as tired," Luke replied. "You on the other hand…you look exhausted." He reached out fore her hand and squeezed it. "You should go home and get some rest."

Lorelai shook her head. "Not until you are well enough to come home too. I won't leave you here, Luke." Her eyes misted again and she raised his hand to her lips.

"Lorelai, that's sweet but if you don't take care of yourself, you'll be in here," Luke gently scolded.

Lorelai blushed slightly. "It's not such a hardship, being with you," she sighed. "And Jess is excellent company."

Lorelai shook her head, "You settled him Luke. You gave him so much, and he does appreciate it."

Luke sighed and studied their clasped hands. "Jess is family," he replied simply, saying so much in that statement. "My Dad would be proud to know his legacy went for his grandson. And hey, I can do a lot of things right? Maybe Tom…"

Lorelai couldn't let him continue on this track. It was bad for his heart, his spirit and hers. So Lorelai did what she always dreamed of doing, kissing Luke midrant.

Luke was shocked at Lorelai's actions but he relished in the feel of her lips on his whne she pulled back, she met his gaze full on. "Now, you listen to me Lucas Danes, when you get out of here and get well, you won't be working anywhere but in your diner. That's a promise."

Luke couldn't argue with Lorelai's tone or position in this frame of mind so he didn't say anything in response to her declaration. He just leaned back, closed his eyes, and surrendered to another wave of sleep.

Friday night brought Rory and a very nervous Jess to the elder Gilmore's front door. For the tenth time that night Jess was tugging at the knot in his tie. Rory slapped his hand, "Jess, leave your tie alone and stop fidgeting."

"I'm sorry," he hissed. "I'm nervous all right."

"Don't worry," Rory comforted. "You all ready promised it won't be a repeat of last time." The door knob turned. "Show time."

"Rory, I'm so glad you've…" Emily paused when she saw her granddaughter had company. "Jess, it's…nice to see you again. Please come in."

Rory and Jess entered into the older Gilmore home, and Jess once again fidgeted with his tie. "Jess," Rory scolded.

Rory helped Jess maneuver his chair around the thick oriental rugs and showed him to the living room.

"Would you like a drink Jess?" Emily asked.

"Um, do you have ginger ale, Mrs. Gilmore?" Jess asked politely. It earned him a smile from Rory.

"I believe I do," Emily replied. "Rory, would you help me please?"

Rory kissed Jess quickly on the lips and rose to follow her grandmother out of the room.

"Why didn't you tell me he was coming?" Emily asked.

"I was afraid you'd tell me not to bring him," Rory replied. "And if he didn't come, I couldn't come."

"Why not?" Emily asked.

"Because Luke's in the hospital and Mom is busy taking care of him. Jess can't be left by himself for very long," Rory replied. After last time, I was nervous you wouldn't let me bring him."

"You should have told us," Emily maintained. "Jess didn't do very well the last time he was here."

"I know," Rory agreed. "But Jess grew up a lot since then. California and living on his own in New York changed him. The accident changed him," Rory told her. "And I love him more than I ever thought I could, seeing this new side of him. Please Grandma, give him another chance."

Emily sighed. She didn't like her granddaughter's rebel boyfriend. Jess was a lower class, not very motivated, but at least once you got under the image there was a glimmer of intellect. And Rory saw that.

"All right," Emily acquiesced. "Are there any areas I shouldn't mention? I mean, is he…" her voice lowered, "sensitive about his injury?"

Rory shook her head. "Not really. Just don't baby him."

When Emily and Rory returned they found Richard and Jess in conversation.

"Exactly what I say," Richard nodded. "Women just cannot appreciate the genius that is Jack Kerouac."

"Rory appreciates that well enough," Jess acknowledged. "Ernest Hemingway…"

"Hey," Rory protested. "No fair turning my grandfather against me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Jess smirked and his eyes danced.

"This is a very interesting young man, Rory," Richard said. "So far, I approve."

Rory smiled and sat on the settee next to Jess' chair. "He's very smart when he's not being obnoxious."

"I am never obnoxious," Jess argued with feigned hurt.

Rory feigned shock. "Oh, he's obnoxious."

The new improved Jess Mariano was at ease in conversation with Richard and slowly as she observed his new more mature attitude, he won over Emily. Well, as much as anyone could win over Emily.

The meal passed successfully, conversation never stalling. Tension mounted as the dessert course was served however because Rory began to turn the conversation toward money.

"Grandma, Grandpa," Rory began. "Jess and I have something we need your help with."

"Of course, Rory," Richard replied. "Whatever you need."

"It's a really huge favor, Mr. Gilmore," Jess said. "I'd like to explain it before we commit to anything."

"By all means," said Emily. "What is this favor?"

"Well, my Uncle Luke is in the hospital now as you know and that's partially my fault because…"

"Jess, don't do that," Rory scolded.

"Sorry," Jess sighed. "Paying for the accident, the surgery, the hospital, the therapy used all of his savings so he mortgaged his diner."

"Luke mortgaged the diner?" Emily said in surprise. "He loves the diner, it's his link to his father. At least that's what he led me to believe."

"It's true, Grandma," Rory affirmed. "But he loves Jess more."

"I hope you appreciate it, Jess," Emily scolded.

"Believe me Mrs. Gilmore, I appreciate everything Uncle Luke has done for me before and now. That's why I wanted to be the one to do this," Jess explained. "The mortgage has been called now, and just…he has run out of time to pay it back."

"And you want us to give him a loan to pay it back?" Emily asked.

"No, Grandma, it's not that simple," Rory explained. "Luke's diner has all ready been forclosed on. Jess and I…we want to ask you for a loan to by the diner at auction. Luke can buy it back from us when he gets on his feet," Rory sighed. "Please, we can't let Taylor buy it. That'll kill Luke."

"Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore," Jess picked up. "We know it's a lot to ask and Lorelai and Luke don't know we're asking so no pressure. But please, please at least think about it."

There was silence in the room for a few moments the only audible sound was the beating of expectant hearts.

Finally Richard spoke, "Jess, you bid as high as you need to to keep that diner in the family. You shall have help from us to pay the fee."

"Thank you, Sir," Jess said sincerely, leaning over to kiss Rory. "This means so much to…you don't know how much this means to us."

Richard and Emily exchanged a glance, and then Richard looked at the light in his granddaughter's eyes as she held her boyfriend close. "Yes I do," he replied. "We most certainly do."

Next: Rory is set to return to Yale, which caused yet another backslide for Jess. Luke recovers more fully with Lorelai who seeks help from Dr. Camden in regards to Jess' attitude.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Rory sat in the town meeting holding Jess' hand as they listened to Taylor Doose drone on and on about town issues most of which were pointless. They were waiting for the announcement of the sheriff's sale on Luke's place. They'd been there an hour and he hadn't mentioned it.

"Lastly…" Taylor began.

"Finally," Jess grumbled. "I couldn't sit here any longer."

"You okay?" she asked concerned.

"Yeah, yeah," he answered. "Just listen…"

"Sadly, a staple of our town Luke's Diner formerly William's Hardware ahs been foreclosed on for failure to make mortgage payments in a timely manner. The building and it's contents except any personal belongings will be sold at auction in the town square two weeks for today," Taylor announced.

That announcement caused a raucous in the full dance studio. People were amazed at the closing of the diner, as if they weren't really themselves responsible.

"Oh, poor, Luke," Babette said. "I can't believe he lost that diner. It was his father's legacy."

"I know," agreed another resident. "William would be so disappointed in him."

"I always that Luke was more responsible," commented another.

Jess was hearing all this, how that tide had turned. It made his blood boil hearing these slights and jabs made at Luke. He tightened his grip on Rory's hand, trying to keep his temper at bay.

"Take a deep breath," Rory said to him. "It'll be over soon."

"You're damn right it will," Jess replied and waited for Taylor to open the floor. Once he did he kept a firm grip on Rory's hand and spoke up. "I have an issue."

Taylor condescendingly looked down at Jess. "Oh, Jess. I didn't see you there."

"I'm sure you didn't," Jess rolled his eyes. "May I speak?"

"The chair recognizes Jess Mariano," Taylor sighed.

"Thank you. Since the accident in May, my Uncle Luke has been taking care of me, helping me, because I needed him to. I couldn't do anything for myself, and I needed Luke, my family to help me," Jess began.

"Jess, I don't see the relevance of this to our town. Luke doesn't need a public thank you," Taylor balked.

"Yes he does," Jess countered. "And this is a town issue; this is very much a town issue, because this town, as much as Luke hated to admit it, as much as he complains about the really insane traditions in this town, is his family. My grandparents are dead, my mother's a fruitcake, the only support Luke has was this town, and he always could rely on everyone to support him. Until now, when he really needed you people, his family, his support system and you failed him. You didn't like the decision he made about how to help me and you all turned against him, you all boycotted him and you all caused him to lose the diner," Jess took a deep breath and shifted.

"And now you all have the nerve to sit there and talk about hi like he's some failure, some great disappointment to all of you. Well, rude awakening people, you're the disappointment. You let Luke down and my grandfather. This is Stars Hollow, I find it sickening, but you're all supposed to care about each other, well it's funny how you show it."

"Jess," Rory said softly. She could see the tension, hear the pain in his words.

"No, Rory, not this time," he replied. "You," he looked at Babette and Miss Patty. "You claim you like Luke, that he's a son of Stars Hollow. You even pretend to be nice to me. And you," he moved on to Kirk. "You say Luke's your friend and you trust him, and even you turned against him. That's a bad as what Taylor did, it's almost worst, at least we see him coming." Jess turned on Taylor. "That's the only complement I can pay you. At least you always made it clear that you resent Luke, you always criticized him, nitpicked him, just like you did me. Then you organize this ridiculous boycott, and when Luke defends himself and Rory from your unacceptable, abusive behavior you sue him. If William Danes would be upset with anyone, it would be you, all of you for not living up to the standards of the Stars Hollow he knew." Jess took another deep breath.

"Luke's in the hospital now, and he's not getting better as fast as he should be because he is worried about his diner, about his father's legacy. Imagine what it's doing to him knowing that building is to be sold at auction, his only link to the man he loved and respected. Now, I know all of you hate me, God knows I did enough to deserve that, but what did Luke do? Huh? What did he do but be the man he was raised to be, and take care of his family because it is what he's supposed to do, what any decent person would do. I think it really sucks that you're punishing him for that.

"Luke's Diner will not be lost, it will not be closed and it will not become an extension of Taylor's Soda Shoppe. Why? Because it's my turn. Luke didn't leave me when I needed him, I won't forsake him now. Jess Mariano's in town, I'm back and I will not be defeated!" Jess declared. "You can choose to remember all Luke's done for you and help me or you can get in my way and get run over. The choice is yours." He stopped then, his speech concluded. "Let's go Rory."

Without a word, Rory took Jess' chair and pushed him outside when he finally let out a moan of pain.

"Are you okay?" Rory asked quickly. Jess' back spasms still upset her.

"Just take me home," Jess sighed and fell silent.

Rory did as quickly as possible careful not to jostle Jess' chair too much. He was getting quiet again, brooding. It was always hard to talk to him when he was like that, because he shut her out. She hoped he wouldn't do that this time. She couldn't help him otherwise.

Once she got him home and out of his chair, Rory sat beside Jess holding his hand. "Just take slow deep breaths," she reminded him. "Nice and slow."

"This one…" he tried to tell her. "It's bad, it's so bad, Rory."

"Jess," Rory said, trying to keep her tone calm and even. "Is it worse than any other time or the worst it has been in awhile?" she asked.

"Worst ever," he managed. "It's hard to...Oh, God," he cried out. "Oh God, make it stop, please, make it stop!" he begged, not knowing if he meant Rory or the Supreme entity.

"Jess," Rory ran her hand across his back, trying to comfort him. "Maybe you should go to the hospital. Let a doctor check you out."

Jess' response scared Rory. He hated doctors and hospitals. He never wanted to go, so that fact the he said yes without argument testified to the agony he must be feeling.

"Okay," Rory kept her voice even. "I'm going to call Sookie and see if Jackson can help me get you to the car."

"No, I can do it," Jess groaned. "I don't want anyone to know it's so bad."

Rory kissed Jess' hair. "You rest here, I'll call ahead to the hospital."

It took about half an hour for Rory to get Jess up and into the car and almost another hour to get him to Hartford. It was another hour after that until Jess was finally seen by Dr. Camden, who had come in once Rory had told the ER nurse he had been part of Jess' treatment.

The nursing staff was excellent. They helped get Jess into a bed and Rory now stood by his side holding his hand. "As soon as the doctor comes in, they'll give you something for the pain, just hang on."

"It's never been…"

"Hello, Jess!" Dr. Camden greeted. "I'm surprised to see you here, and a bit upset to see you in this much pain."

"Dr. Camden," Rory greeted. "He's in such pain," she was still holding Jess' hand.

"I all ready paged Dr. Davis," Dr. Camden said. "Until I hear from him, I can't prescribe anything. Jess, why don't you rollover on your stomach, that'll take the pressure off. Rory, help him."

Gently, Rory helped Jess roll over on to his stomach and gently ran her han up and down his spine. "Doctor, this feels different," she said when she hit the spot where Jess' injury was."

Dr. Camden came over and ran his hand over the area Rory had indictated. Jess wondered what was going on, but his strength was sapped and he just lie there, pliant, under the doctor's hands.

"I want to admit Jess to the hospital, and run some tests. I think there may have been a shift in the fractures. We'll have to wait until tomorrow to see if I'm right. For now, I'm going to find the ER attending to sign off on some morphine. It's a strong opiate, but it will help his pain."

"Thank you doctor," Rory said sincerely.

Dr. Camden left them alone to find his supervisor. Rory stood next to Jess' bed, fingers gently caressing the hair on his neck. "I'm here, Jess," she kept assuring him. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you, and I'm never going to leave you. I promise." She kissed his cheek. "It'll be over soon, Baby. I promise you it will be over soon."

Rory stood there, tears leaking out of her eyes as she thought about the empty promise she'd made to Jess, this torture wouldn't be over soon, not if the fracture slipped. She thought then about the other promise she had made, to never leave him. That broke a promise she'd made not to drop out of Yale, she'd have to in order to stay by his side, but she knew, holding his hands that she wanted to.

Jess didn't speak he just lie there, until a nurse came in a injection some medication into his right arm, moments later he visibly relaxed.

"Rory?" he asked, not sure if she was even with him.

"I'm here. I'm just going to go and call Mom and Luke at their hospital. You rest," she told him.

"Mm," was the only reply.

In another hospital across the highway, Lorelai was keeping a vigil of her own. Luke was doing better, and his doctors were hoping to release him at the end of the work. Once that was definite Lorelai would approach the question of what to do about living arrangements. That would hurt him, but he'd bounce back. He was Luke, he always did.

"I'm telling you, Lorelai," Luke groaned as he slapped her hand away. "I can feed myself the damned soup."

Lorelai put the spoon back into the bowl, "Okay, fine. I'll back off," she surrendered, a huge smile on her face.

"Why are you so happy?" Luke asked.

"You," she replied. "You're grumping at me and scowling. She ran her finger across his cheek. "That means you're getting better, more like your usual self."

"I don't grump at you all the time," Luke said softly.

"Luke, more than not you grump at me," Lorelai teased.

Luke stopped eating and fell silent. Did she really see it that way? He knew he could be moody and quiet, but he didn't know Lorelai thought he directed it at her.

"What?" Lorelai asked seeing Luke's silence. "What is that face?"

"It…" he sighed. It was time now to explain it to calm things up. Luke took a deep breath. It was now or never. "I don't mean to be grumpy or gruff, Lorelai. It's nothing…there's no reason for it, none you know about at least. It's my way of covering up my feelings."

Lorelai's face grew serious. "You shouldn't do that, Luke. That's how you got here."

"I know. But Lorelai, for eight years I watched you date man after man and either you left them or they left you, broke your heart, made you cry, and that…Luke shook his head. "Since that first day you came into my diner, you were on my mind, in my heart and I was scared to death to tell you that because I didn't want to let you know what I felt. I didn't want to lose you as a friend, so when I saw you with another guy I covered my feelings and that came out as grumpiness."

"What are you saying?" Lorelai asked trying to focus Luke's rambled declaration. Since Luke's heart attack their relationship had grown, it was clear they were embarking on more definite status. It appeared that Luke was looking to secure that in spoken terms.

"I suppose I'm saying, I love you, Lorelai. I have for eight years. You bewitched me," he told her. "And I spent years covering it up under my uh, harshness," Luke confessed.

Lorelai brushed a tear from her eyes at Luke's words. "I lover you too, Luke," she replied. "And I can't say I know exactly when it happened but these last few months, watching how you cared for Jess, how you gave everything so selfishly, and after this," she gestured to his position in the hospital bed. "This made me really see how much I truly love you."

Luke reached for Lorelai's hand and cradled the limb in his. Gently he pulled on it so she came to him, enabling him to kiss her pouty lips.

It was their first kiss of any consequence since the heart attack and the intensity of it sent shivers through both of them. There was a lot of communication in that kiss, emotions revealed, promises made, and futures decided. Lorelai felt that nothing could surpass this feeling of perfection. She felt that in earnest this was her destiny to be with Luke for the rest of her life. The ringing bedside phone interrupted her musing.

"Hello," Luke answered after pulling away from Lorelai.

"Hi Luke, it's Rory," Rory said on her end of the phone. "Is my Mom still there?"

"Yeah, Rory. Want to speak to her?" Luke asked.

"No, I only have a minute. I just wanted to tell her and you that I'm with Jess at Hartford Memorial," Rory said quickly.

"What? Why?" Luke asked feeling the familiar panic he felt whenever one of his kids was in trouble.

"I took him after the town meeting ended. He was in so much pain. He went willingly Luke," Rory explained so Luke could understand the severity of the situation.

"Did the doctor see him yet? What did he say?" Luke asked.

By this time Lorelai was needling Luke with pokes and whispers. He waved her off as he waited for Rory to answer.

"Um, Dr. Camden admitted him and Dr. Davis authorized morphine to stop the pain, but he can't see Jess until the morning. He's finally asleep," Rory sighed.

"You staying with him?" Luke asked all ready knowing Rory's answer.

"If he wakes up he'll need me. I didn't want Mom to worry," Rory explained.

"I'll let her know what happened. Goiod night, kiddo," Luke said before hanging up.

Once Luke hung up the phone Lorelai insisted on know what was going on.

"Rory had to take Jess to the hospital," Luke told her. "Something about his pain and he has to stay over night until Dr. Davis can see him in the morning," Luke explained. "She's going to stay over night with him."

"Did she sound okay?" Lorelai asked.

"She sounded relieved," Luke answered. "They gave him morphine. That's what they gave Dad when he was dying of cancer to relieve the pain. It must have been pretty bad," Luke mused worry crossing his face.

"He's in good hands," Lorelai soothed. "He probably over did it, that's all."

"Probably," Luke agreed. "Let's um…" Luke didn't want to think about Jess' condition or anything else. He couldn't do anything from this place and it would be bad for his heart to panic. He was told to avoid stress. "Come up here," he patted the bed beside him. "Lie with me."

"Are you sure?" Lorelai seemed both eager and apprehensive.

"Yeah, I just told you I loved you," Luke reminded her. "In a perfect world I'd hold you all night and show you how much I love you. I can't do that in this fishbowl, but at least I can hold you all night."

Lorelai lowered the rail on the bed and climbed up next to him. Luke lifted his arm so Lorelai could snuggle next to him and lay her head against his chest. Luke's lips covered her hair, "This feels nice. Right."

Lorelai sighed and snuggled in tighter. "Perfect," she agreed then closed her eyes for the first real slip she'd gotten since Luke's attack.

Luke watched Lorelai and knew in the moment this was it. This was the moment his dad always assured him would come, the moment he knew, for certain he'd be with Lorelai until death.

Lorelai met Rory at Hartford Hospital the next morning, before Dr. Davis even arrived. With the full dose of morphine Jess had slept through the night. Rory hadn't slept a wink; she had too much on her mind.

Lorelai was being filled in on the events of the town meeting. "You really were terrific," Rory complemented proudly. "I just hope I'm out of here in time to make good on my threat," Jess replied, still a bit groggy from the medicine.

"Luke would really be proud of you," Lorelai smiled. "I know I am."

The conversation halted when Dr. Camden and Dr. Davis entered.

"Good morning, Jess," Dr. Camden greeted. "Feeling any better?"

"Yeah," Jess said. "I can at least think now and breathe. Whatever this thing is," he referred to the large metal brace around his hip. "It's working."

"That's an external spinal brace, in case you're fractures were slipping," Dr. Davis replied. "And unfortunately they are doing that. That's what caused the increased pain."

"What do we do about that?" Jess asked finding Rory's hand.

"Surgery," Dr. Davis replied. "We put an internal rod along the spine to align the fractures and prevent a future slip. It acts like a cast for the vertebrae."

"What will that do to his progress in respect to therapy?" Lorelai asked.

"Jess has made all the progress he can make," Dr. Camden replied. "Unless he becomes a candidate for laser surgery, he's recovered as much as he's going to."

"So," Rory asked. "When?"

"Obviously, the sooner the better," Dr. Davis answered. The longer we leave it the more the pain will increase. I'd like to put you on my Friday schedule."

"How long will the recovery be?" Lorelai asked.

"Um, that's conditional on the patients overall health, but barring infection, six to eight weeks," Matt answered.

"Don't worry, Sweetheart. I'll be here for the recovery," Rory assured him. "Let's just get you better."

"You go back to class in two weeks," Jess reminded her. "And Luke won't be in the condition…"

"Ah, yes. How is Mr. Danes?" Dr. Davis asked Lorelai. He learned about Luke's heart attack from Jess.

"Much better. He's going home Friday," Lorelai beamed.

"Really," Jess smiled. "He comes out, I go in, all is right with the world."

"We'll give you some times to process this," Dr. Davis said. "I'm glad Mr. Danes is getting better. Matt."

Dr. Camden followed Dr. Davis out. Lorelai opened her mouth to speak, but Jess was all ready speaking. "You are going to Yale in two weeks. Remember our deal?"

"Jess," Rory sighed. "This changes our deal."

"No, Rory," Jess argued. "You aren't leaving Yale because of me." He turned his face from her.

"Don't do that, Jess," Rory ordered. "Don't turn away from me. You are more important than Yale. I love you," she told him, kissing him.

"But you're dreams," Jess sighed. "I can't…" He winced then clammed up, becoming silent.

Lorelai heard the exchange and could see where it was leading, to more heartache, to more despair, for both of them. Once, Dr. Camden had told her he knew someone who could help them communicate, to help them understand the others desire to help, to not burden, to not require sacrifices…As Jess retreated into himself and Rory capitulated. Lorelai went to enlist that help.

It only took her a few minutes to find Dr. Camden, he was at the nurses desk talking on the phone, "Okay, call me back," she heard him say before he hung up.

"Dr. Camden," she smiled in greeting. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, let's go to the lounge," he argued and led the way. "I know it seems daunting right now, but Jess is really doing well."

"Physically, yes," Lorelai replied. "But emotionally…it seems he and Rory still can't communicate with each other in terms of Jess disability. Generally fine, no problem, but as soon as the topic leans to Jess' condition it becomes a tug of war."

"And neither one seems to understand what the other is actually saying," Dr. Camden finished. "It's a very common problem, and fortunately I can help."

"You'd said once before you could," Lorelai reminded him.

"I'm sure I can," Matt seemed confidant. "All you need to do is relax. By the time Jess is discharged from surgery, I'll have the cavalry here."

"The cavalry, hmm? Like horses, cannons, that cool stuff?" Lorelai asked.

"No, actually it's my sister and her husband. He's been a paraplegic a little over a year, and they seemed to find a way to talk to each other after a time. Maybe they can help," Matt answered.

"Any they won't mind helping? It would really be wonderful if we could clear up this communication problem," Lorelai said wistfully.

"I don't think they'll mind at all," Matt assured her. "Leave it to me. You take care of the kids."

Lorelai left and walked back towards Jess' room, while Matt picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. His brother-in-law answered on the third ring. "Hey, Kevin, it's Matt. I need your help…"

Next in Love Equals Sacrifice Rory and Jess get advice from Lucy and Kevin Kinkirk. Rory makes her decision about Yale. A slight Seventh Heaven Crossover.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Two weeks later, Richard Gilmore having just returned from a trip to Prague stopped by his daughter's home town. The Courant had announced in the surrounding areas several estate and sheriff's sale that would held in the next month. The one in Stars Hollow, for Luke's Diner was today. Richard wanted to see its process and outcome, since he had authorized Rory to spare no cost.

Richard remembered the layout of this small town well so he found the green and the municipal parking lot with relative ease.

Chairs were set up on the green around the gazebo, all facing the diner property. The sheriff was there along with most of the population of Stars Hollow. Richard saw everyone he'd met at Rory's various parties over the last few years, but he didn't see Rory or Lorelai. If they weren't there, they'd be very glad that he was.

"Well, hey there, Sugar," Babette greeted him. "You here to see the sale? We've all got a bet that Taylor is going to buy it to expand the soda shop. It's really sad what happened, we tried to buy it back but none of us had enough money to spare for that. Aren't you Lorelai's father?"

Richard was always amazed at how fast Babette could speak and how much ground she could cover in between breaths. He focused her last query, "Yes, I'm Richard Gilmore."

Babette raised her eyebrow at him and moved to talk to Miss Patty while Richard found a seat and waited for the auction to begin, all the while keeping his eyes pealed for his granddaughter.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," the county sheriff greeted. "We are gathered here today to auction and recover losses made by the proprietor of Luke's Diner, one Lucas William Danes to the Benton County Savings and Loan Corporation," he announced. "The building is two stories high, 4500 sq. feet and is on a valuable corner lot on Stars Hollow's main thoroughfare. Let us start the bidding at $200,000."

"Two hundred thousand dollars," Taylor bid.

"We have two hundred thousand dollars, two hundred thousand. Do I hear two hundred twenty-five thousand dollars?" the auctioneer asked.

"Two hundred twenty-five thousand dollars," Miss Patty bid.

"We have two hundred twenty-five thousand dollars from the lady in purple," the auctioneer announced.

"Two hundred twenty-five thousand dollars; let's hear two hundred fifty thousand dollars. That's quite a steal for this piece of property."

"Two hundred fifty thousand," Taylor bid with a smirk on his face.

"We have two hundred fifty thousand dollars, two hundred fifty thousand dollars the bid now. Do I hear three hundred thousand dollars?"

"Three hundred thousand," Jackson bid, much to Sookie's surprise.

"Three hundred thousand from the man down front," was called out. "Three hundred thousand on the table now; anyone for three hundred twenty-five thousand dollars?"

"Three hundred twenty-five thousand," Taylor bid.

Sookie looked at Jackson who offered another bid before the auctioneer could call out another amount, "Three hundred seventy-five thousand."

The town had considered Jess' speech a few weeks prior and realized he was right. Whether they liked him or not, Luke was a son of Stars Hollow; they should pull together to keep him from being pulled apart. They agreed that night to drive up the bidding so Taylor couldn't afford it so they as a town could buy the building for Luke and offer it to him along with heartfelt apologies. The problem was between all the residents, they were only able to raise $600,000. There was no telling how much money Taylor had access to.

"I'm hearing three hundred seventy-five thousand dollars. Let's hear four hundred thousand…"

While the bidding continued fiercely and hotly contested in Stars Hollow, Rory and Jess debated just as fiercely in a Hartford hospital room.

"No," Rory declared. "I can't support that. It's too dangerous."

"How is it dangerous? I can't end up any worse off than I am now?" Jess argued.

"You could end up dead," Rory spat. "Or get some terrible infection like this last time. Look at this time, you ended up getting a pressure sore, which got infected, and here we are."

"Rory, this is a chance to walk again, my only chance. I'd be a fool not to seize that," Jess told her passionately. "I can't believe you would deny me that."

That stopped Rory dead in her tracks. "I don't want to deny you that. I just want you to be safe, and another surgery," Rory shook her head. "I just think we need to consider all the facts before the decision is made."

"All the facts?" This is all the fact. If this surgery works, I walk again, and have a chance at a normal life," Jess projected.

Rory was silent. She knew how much Jess wanted that, she wanted it for him, but the risk of this surgery was just too high. "Is it really…what I mean is the benefit really worth the risk?"

Jess could see where Rory was coming from, he truly could. She was afraid for him, afraid the procedure would fail, and afraid that the loss of hope would cause a break in is fragile grip on his situation. She also feared physical ramification, but clearly she was more concerned about psychological ones. He tried to be sensitive to that.

He took her hands in his, "Rory, I know that you mean well here. I know you don't want me to get false hope, but you need to understand that I can't accept this until I've tried everything."

"Jess," Rory sighed. "There's nothing. I want more than for you to walk again, because you want it so much. But there is no reason to…this is not coming out right."

"I'm no good to you like this," Jess declared. "I'm dependent on you, on Luke, and this operation is a chance for that not to be true. You've both given up so much because of this."

Rory had to collect her thoughts. She could see Jess was becoming upset, that he was very clearly misunderstanding her motives.

"We love you, Jess," Rory explained. "Yale doesn't matter to me if I have you. The diner doesn't mean as much to Luke as you do. You don't have to go through a long, risky operation that may not work because of us, and I know Luke feels the same way. We are willing to make those sacrifices."

"But you shouldn't have to, Rory! Love should not equal sacrifice. It should not be a reason for you not reaching your goal or for Uncle Luke losing the diner. I should not be your excuse!" Jess argued.

"My excuse? What does that mean?" Rory was confused. Jess did this a lot, he turned things around to make them about her, when they were not at all about her.

"I don't know," Jess admitted. "I just…I know the Ivy League was your dream. If I get in the way of that you'll eventually resent me for it."

Rory shook her head. "I could never resent you, Jess. This is my decision."

"Exactly, and this operation is mine." Rory proved his point for him. "It is my body, my risk."

"It's a risk that impacts me," Rory countered. "If something happened to you…" She left the thought unfinished. "I just think this is incredibly selfish."

"Selfish!" Jess' voice rose up a notch. "I want to walk again for you, be a normal whole man again for you. The only reason I'm alive is for you!" Jess shouted. "Everything I do every day is for you. I wouldn't have even bothered if not because I want to be better for you!"

"I never asked for that!" Rory countered. "You don't need to be anything for me or do anything for me! I never asked for that!"

"You're not listening to a word I said, are you?" Jess asked.

"Yes, I'm listening and I'm hearing you telling me you put yourself through these false notions of recovery, brutal therapies, hard and risky surgery because of me!" Rory confirmed. "I'm saying that you don't have to do that. I'm content to the way things are."

"You're content with this," he motioned to his legs. "You'd be happy spending your life with this."

"I want to spend my life with you," Rory said. "I don't care about your legs."

"I care, Rory. I cannot live my life knowing I didn't take every option. I would not ask that of you, don't ask it of me," Jess sighed.

"I'm only asking you to think with your head for a change, Jess," Rory pointed out.

"I always do," he protested.

"You never do," Rory countered. "You never in three years have used your head. You always go on a lark Jess. Always. You can't do that."

"Better that than what you do," he said very softly.

"What does that mean?" Rory asked pain evident in her voice and in her manner.

"It means you don't feel, Rory. I may be the one whose legs are paralyzied but you don't feel," Jess explained.

"Well, for someone who doesn't feel that hurt," Rory said, voice edged with tears.

"All I'm saying is not everything can be analyzed or reasoned out," Jess clarified. "Not everything should be. You don't want me to have this surgery because your head says its too dangerous, but what does your heart say?"

There was silence for a whole minute before Rory could physically answer, "It says that I couldn't stand the pain of losing you," Rory answered then took a ragged breath. "You do what you need to do, Jess. But don't ask me to stand by and watch you!" With that Rory left nearly knocking Luke over as she made a hasty exit.

Lorelai parked the Jeep behind the diner for the last time. Her passengers, Lucy and Kevin Kinkirk sat and observed the goings on in the square. Lucy was young, perhaps in her early twenties, attractive and fair. Kevin was older, in his later twenties, but was also fair haired and skinned with an impressive build. Even his legs were well defined. Jess' legs had thinned unbelievably since the accident.

"Well, here we are," Lorelai smiled. "Welcome to Stars Hollow."

"This is a really lovely place, Ms. Gilmore," Lucy complemented. "What's going on in the square?"

Lorelai sighed. "A sheriff's sale for the diner," Lorelai replied. "This injury really bled Luke's money."

Kevin nodded. "We never had that concern because this was an on the job injury, but I know it can add up."

"Luke mortgaged the diner to pay for the medical bills and then he couldn't keep up with the payments because business fell off," Lorelai sighed. "I'm almost glad he's at the hospital seeing Jess, so he doesn't have to see this."

Lucy followed Lorelai around to the rear of the Jeep and helped her bring down Kevin's wheelchair. "So when can we meet Rory and Jess? Matt made them sound very interesting."

Lorelai nodded. "Jess should be getting out of the hospital tomorrow. How about lunch? It would give you and Kevin time to settle in."

Lucy smiled and wheeled Kevin's chair around to help him get out of the car, "That work for you?"

Kevin didn't reply as he tried to get from the Jeep to his wheelchair. Once settled he replied, "Sure. Which one do I get?"

"That's up to you," Lorelai replied. "The problem essentially is Rory and Jess can't talk to each without fighting, and that's kind of cute, but they can go anywhere at all like this. Matt said this happens, and that maybe you could help us deal with it. That and I think he wanted to see his sister."

The couple nodded, "Say no more," Kevin sighed. "I'll talk to Rory. Lucy you can take Jess."

Lorelai smiled at the easy flow of communication between this young couple. That's what existed for the most part between she and Luke and what had existed between Rory and Jess. Perhaps Lucy and Kevin could help them find it again.

A loud cheer rising up from the crowd in front of the diner broke Lorelai's musing, "What's going on?" Kevin asked.

"Someone must have bought the diner," Lorelai sighed. "Come on. I'll introduce you to some people."

Kevin and Lucy followed Lorelai to the front of the diner, where she saw her father next to the sheriff.

"Whose that?" Lucy asked. "Is that the guy you were telling us about?"

"No," Lorelai replied. "That's my father."

Lorelai approached Richard as he descended the podium. "How…Why?" she asked with tears in her eyes, her mind falling to the usual perception that her parents acted against her.

"For you, Lorelai," Richard replied. It went over her head.

"What could you want with a diner? I don't understand…"

Richard sighed. "Lorelai, I bought this for you. Jess and Rory were supposed to but they aren't here."

"I don't understand," Lorelai sighed. "What do you mean Jess and Rory were supposed to be here? How could they have…?"

"They asked us for a loan to buy the diner to keep it in the family. They weren't here so I bid my money against some other guy with an annoying voice and a beard," Richard explained remembering the intense bidding war he was just engaged in.

Lorelai was struck dumb. Rory and Jess too had gone behind her back and asked for her parents for money to save the diner. Lorelai contemplated doing that repeatedly but thoughts of Luke's pride and fear of her parents ridicule stopped her. They had come through though and the diner would be safe.

Richard was shocked as Lorelai let out a joyful yelp. She through her arms around him and hugged her father, "Thank you Daddy. We'll pay you back, every cent," Lorelai promised.

Richard gave her a quick squeeze in return, "Don't worry about reimbursement," he told her. "Where are Rory and Jess? That boy was determined and he's not…"

Lorelai nodded. "Didn't Mom tell you? Jess had surgery, he won't be out of the hospital until tomorrow."

Richard nodded. Emily hadn't told him, he and Emily didn't speak since they separated. Of course, Lorelai and Rory didn't have that information. He changed the subject, "And who are these fine people?"

"Ah," Lorelai smiled remembering her guests. "This is Lucy and Kevin Kinkirk, Dr. Camden's family."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kinkirk, Mr. Kinkirk. I'm Richard Gilmore, Lorelai's father." He shook hands. "I must be going now, it was lovely to meet you."

As Richard walked away, Lorelai called out. "Dad!" He stopped and turned around. "Thank you."

"We'll deal with particulars at out next dinner. I hope to see all four of you there," he smiled.

Lorelai nodded, "You will."

Next: Jess comes home from the hospital. Rory confesses her pain to Luke. Kevin and Lucy advise the couple. Luke and Jess discuss the next "step." Stars Hollow begins the payback.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

"Luke," Lorelai whispered softly as she gently prodded her lover's shoulder. "Time to get up."

"Why?" Luke grumbled. "I have no where to be."

"No," Lorelai agreed. "But it's almost noon and Jess and Rory will be here by one o'clock."

Luke jumped when he heard the time. "How did you let me sleep this long?"

"There was no waking you. I tried three times. What's going on?" Lorelai asked wrapping one arm around Luke. "You came up late last night."

"I couldn't sleep. I've got things on my mind," Luke confessed.

"What things?" Lorelai asked. "The doctor said to avoid stress."

"Yeah, easier said than done," Luke sighed. "I have no money, no way of getting money unless I pull a bank job, and I have a nephew who is under the delusion Rory wants him to remain in a wheelchair, lots of stress inducing stuff there."

"What about Rory?" Lorelai asked. "Did they fight again?"

Luke nodded, "When I visited Jess yesterday she stormed out all upset. He told me she got a little crazy when he talked about the surgery his doctors mentioned."

"I knew she wouldn't take that well," Lorelai sighed. "What did she say?"

Jess said she told him she's content the way things are and that got misconstrued. He also told me she said the benefit doesn't outweigh the risk," Luke explained.

"I understand why she's upset about it," Lorelai told him. "But I understand Jess too. He wants to seize every chance."

"Yeah, the sad thing is Jess doesn't see why Rory's scared. He's got it all warped in his head to she wants him to live the rest of his life in that chair," Luke declared. "In reality though, no."

Lorelai gently kissed the back of Luke's neck, "I'm sure Lucy and Kevin will be able to help, if not just to show them that a normal relationship, a normal fifty/fifty relationship even with Jess in the chair."

"What were you thinking bringing them here, Lorelai? They have no idea about Rory or Jess," Luke finally voiced his opinion on Lorelai's helpful guests. "We should help them through this rough patch."

Lorelai ran her hand down Luke's arm, "We've done all we could. We'll never know, God willing, where Jess is or where Rory is. Lucy and Kevin, they do. They are living that life," Lorelai explained. "It's at least worth the shot."

Luke nodded, "I hope it works. It could backfire."

"I know that," Lorelai acknowledged. "But our kids need help. They can't go on like this."

Luke nodded, "Like I said, I hope it doesn't backfire." He rose from the edge of the bed and headed for the shower. "Make me some tea, I'll be ten minutes."

Half an hour later, Luke was outside on the porch, watching as Jess maneuvered his wheelchair up the ramp Luke put in, "Hey, Kid. How you feeling?"

"Not bad," Jess replied. "You?"

"Never better. It's good being here," Luke replied. "Hey, Rory."

Rory moved quickly and hugged Luke, "Hey. Where's my Mom?"

"Guys, listen," Luke began. "Your Mom invited some friends over, Dr. Camden's sister and brother-in-law. They're inside."

Rory had heard Lorelai speak of Dr. Camden's sister and brother-in-law. Lucy and Kevin he said their names were and Rory knew why they were here. She turned to Jess, "You be nice in there. I mean it."

"Don't give me reason to not be and we'll be fine," Jess snapped clearly still angry about the previous night. With that he pushed himself inside.

Rory let out an angry sigh. "Luke! He is impossible!"

"Let him have his hope, Rory," Luke told her. "It's all he's ever had."

Rory's lower lip stuck out and her jaw quivered, "I can't watch it anymore, Luke. I can't."

Not knowing what else to do for her, and feelin the same way himself, Luke took Rory in his arm and held her close, "It'll be okay, Rory. It'll be okay."

Rory vehemently shook her head, "No, Luke. It won't. He's not…and I can't watch it Luke, I…" Rory took a few deep breath to try to calm herself down. "I can't go in there now. I need some air."

Gently, Luke wiped the tears from Rory's eyes, "Go for a walk and calm down. Maybe when you come back you and Jess can talk this out. Maybe Lucy can help you. She's been there," Luke comforted.

"Maybe, I don't know anymore," Rory shook her head. "I just wish he'd stop pretending this will go away. We can't deal with it until he realized the facts. He's not getting better, no amount of time is going to change that. He's won't face it, Luke. He won't face it."

Solemnly Luke nodded. "I know, Rory I know. Go on now, get calmed down. I'll deal with this."

Rory hugged Luke again quickly and left the porch turning her steps toward the bridge where she could breathe, think, and plan for a future which, at this point, may not include Jess.

When Luke went inside, he was faced with Lorelai and Jess' worried faces along with Lucy and Kevin's expectant ones.

"Where's Rory?" Lorelai asked.

"She um, she needed some air," Luke replied. "She was very upset." He looked pointedly at Jess who closed his eyes and sighed.

"I better go talk to her," Jess said. "Lord knows I'm the cause of it."

"I think you should let her be for a little while, Jess," Kevin commented. "Give her some air."

"What would you know about it? You are in the same chair, not the same life," Jess snapped.

"Jess," Luke sighed. "Kevin and Lucy are our guests."

Jess nodded. "I'm sorry. I just don't know what we're supposed to do anymore."

"It's all right," Lucy soothed. "It happens."

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed. "Let's have lunch on the porch. Rory will join us when she calms down."

The five people adjourned to eat the meal Sookie brought over on Lorelai's back porch. She kept the conversation up asking Lucy and Kevin about Glen Oak, about how they met, all sorts of things until the tide turned to Kevin's accident.

"So um," Jess asked with some hesitation. "How did this happen if I can ask?"

"Sure you can, it's a fact of life," Keving replied. "It was a little over a year ago, I was assigned a stake out…" Kevin paused when Rory came out the back door.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she said. "Any chicken left?"

"Yeah, hon. There's plenty," Lorelai replied. "Rory this is Lucy Kinkirk, Dr. Camden's sister and her husband, Kevin. This is Rory."

"Hey, it's great to meet you," Lucy smiled. "Jess and Lorelai told us a lot about you."

"That's nice to know," Rory said sitting down.

"It's nice to meet you," Kevin smiled. "Jess just asked me a question about my wheels here."

"Oh," Rory looked uncomfortable. "Is that…"

Kevin smiled, "Its okay, Rory. Like I told Jess it's a fact of life. I was assigned by my superior to a stake out of a convenience store on an established trend for hold ups. I was working sixteen hour shifts, so I was pretty tired and the dark blue Dodge wan with tinted windows pulled up outside. It had the right partial plates. So my partner and I got out of the car, watched what was going down, and went in. As soon as we identified ourselves, one of the perps opened fire on us. Before Roxanne or I could respond the perp got a shot off and I went down like a puppet without strings," Kevin described plainly.

"Wow! SO did you get your man?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, those shots really pissed Roxanne off," Kevin laughed. "She took them both down. If the shot wasn't so painful I might have laughed. So what about you Jess?"

"I got in a car accident. Some jerk on a motorcycle cut me off, I swerved the car and spun out, put me in the path of tractor trailer, which of course, hit me. My car flipped over and my back snapped," Jess said deadpanned.

Rory's face got white as she listened to what Jess described. It was her fault he was on that road when he was. If only she'd listened to her heart, "Excuse me," she said a crack in her voice. She left the table.

Lorelai rose to go after her, but Jess restrained her, "Let me."

Jess went into the house and saw Rory on the sofa her head in her hands, tears falling from her eyes. This killed him, the pain it caused her, the guilt she still suffered. He knew that was the cause of her mother hen nature, her guilt, for he doubted that it all if any of it, came from love.

Jess didn't know what to say so he stayed silent, and quietly returned to the porch leaving Rory to cry herself out.

A/N: This chapter seemed to want to end here, and I didn't want to run this together with the next part. I will more than likely not post next in Love Equals Sacrifice sections because that is making the chapter flow more difficult. I think it is better to let it flow. Please read and review. I will update soon.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

For the next two weeks Lucy and Kevin spent a lot of time with Jess and Rory, trying, in vain to show the couple how completely normal their relationship could be. Still, nothing they tried was effective.

Thursday night at the Dragon fly Inn, Lucy lay curled up next to her husband. "Did you see the look on Jess' face when Rory asked him if he needed to use the bathroom?"

Kevin nodded, "In front of the dancer teacher, yet. That woman has a bigger mouth than Mrs. Pool."

"I never thought we'd see that day," Lucy agreed. "What do you think? Matt suggested we might need to divide and conquer. Let's do that tomorrow. You get Rory and I'll take Jess," Lucy suggested.

Kevin nodded, "It's a plan."

The next morning, Lucy headed for the Gilmore home where she knew Jess would be working out. Kevin stayed behind at the Dragonfly where Rory was working.

Jess was lifting arm weight out on the front porch, enjoying the late summer sun when Lucy approached, "Hey Luce. Where's Kevin today?"

"He's back at the Dragonfly doing his own thing today," Lucy replied. "Where's Rory?"

"At the Dragonfly. Thank God too because I can only lift the heavy weights when she's out, otherwise she gets all wacky," he continued reps.

"She only does that because she loves you. Its evident, even to me," Lucy told him.

Jess out the armbell down and wiped the sweat off his brow, "Yeah, she loves me all right, so much she embarrasses me in front of you, Kevin, Babette, Miss Patty…"

"I'm sure that wasn't her intent," Lucy told him. "I used to do things like that with Kevin all the time. It's instinctive," Lucy told him.

"No offense, Lucy, but I don't think the need to cause repeated embarrassment in instinctive," Jess countered.

"No, it's not," Lucy agreed sitting on the top porch step. "But the need to protect a loved one is, the need to care for a loved one is, the embarrassment it causes is just an unfortunate side effect."

"I wouldn't mind so much…" Jess trailed off. He didn't want to open up to Lucy Kinkirk, he barely knew her. But who else was there really? Luke and Lorelai tried to be impartial but they weren't and even so, they have no idea what it was like to be in this situation. Lucy did, who better to understand than she?

"Go on," Lucy urged.

"If…What you do with Kevin is motivated by love. You're married to him, and you clearly are in love with him. His injury doesn't…that relationship exists with or without the wheelchair factor," Jess explained.

"And you're saying your relationship with Rory doesn't?" Lucy questioned. "Not true."

"How can you make that assessment?" Jess asked. "Right before the accident, I was at Rory's dorm practically begging her to come away with me so we could build a life together and she said no. She shouted no. Rory wanted no part of me not that I blame her because I really messed things up with us, but before the accident she couldn't get far enough away. Now, it's only her guilt keeping her here."

Lucy listened and processed Jess' words, "You believe she's with you now because she feels guilty about the accident?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?" Jess' old sarcasm was returning. "I admit I was no prize, but just cut me loose, don't tease me."

"Well, Jess the Lord works in mysterious ways…"

"No offense, but I'm not a really big fan of the Lord. I don't subscribed to that everything happens for a reason kind of stuff," Jess replied.

"Even so, Rory needed a push back to you, a reason if you will. That came as an accident that cost you very dearly. An accident that made life very difficult for Rory. It is not easy dealing with proud men," Lucy sighed. "And me, I was stuck once it happened. I was married, I had no choice, and I couldn't cut and run. Once Rory went to the hospital and saw you out of the woods, she's one, there's no more obligation, you had someone to look out for you, Rory can go on with her nice Ivy League life, but instead, she leaves Yale to stand by her man," Lucy was hoping Jess realized how ridiculous he sounded. Guilt was powerful, but love had even greater power.

"Guilt is a very powerful emotion," Jess replied.

"It's not that powerful, Jess. Guilt makes us do crazy things, yet, but love makes you do them without question," Lucy replied. "I know I'm talking about Jess."

"How? Did you pull the trigger?" Jess asked cynically.

"No, but if we didn't argue that morning…maybe, I don't know, I just wonder," Lucy sighed. "But I don't blame and there lies the difference. If Rory still blames herself, you have a problem, Jess. She may not be kept with you by guilt, but she is doomed to a life dominated by doubt, you can't want that for her, Jess, not if you love her like you say you do. Talk to her, tell her your doubts and absolve her. Once her guilt if its there, is absolved she'll only have one reason to stay won't she?"

Jess considered Lucy's words and saw the wisdom there. He and Rory needed to talk, talk seriously without misreading signals or overanalyzing facts. It was soul bearing time, now or never time, and Jess knew it. He smiled at Lucy patted her shoulder and said, "Thank you. I'll go talk to her right now."

After a long talk with Kevin Kinkirk, Rory needed a break. She was lucky she still had Jess in her life if what Kevin had said was true. She was sure though after defending her motives that she wanted to be with Jess, wheelchair or not, because she loved him. Rory knew she would do anything to keep him in her life.

Mistakenly, Rory believed she could do that best by taking care of Jess, making him see he needed her. Little did she know, all that did was drive him away.

Kevin had made some really good points. At first Rory found his advice invasive but it turned out to be indispensable. His strongest point was to surrender her guilt, to Jess, admit she felt responsible. Once was done they could move beyond the trap they'd been stuck in since May. Rory knew he was right, it was soul bearing time, it was now or never for Jess and she, and Rory couldn't bear the never.

Rory heard a branch snap and jumped to attention. She turned her head towards the sound to see Jess' wheel had snapped the branch. "Thought I'd find you here," he said.

Rory nodded, "Our place."

"We need to talk," Jess said solemnly.

Rory's heart clenched and she took a deep breath, this was it, she thought, but said only, "Yes we do."


	20. Chapter Twenty

Jess moved closer to Rory, positioning his chair so that it was in line with her perch on the bridge. "Do you want to go first or should I?" he asked.

"I…I think I…Jess, I'm so sorry," Rory said before starting to cry.

Jess reached out for her but she was out of his reach. "Rory, if you're going to do that could you at least move closer so I can hold you."

Rory looked up from her perch, "Why would…why would you want to do that after what I've done. I was…Kevin was so right. I'm lucky I still have you after what I've done."

Jess shook his head, "Rory, listen to me. You didn't I know you feel guilty about the accident, but I've got to tell you again you didn't cause it! You didn't make it rain, you didn't make that tanker cut me off, you didn't even ask me to be in New Haven that night! Rory, you have no reason to be guilty about this unless…unless its your only reason for staying."

Rory was shocked at the way Jess shouted at her, he was angry at her for feeling guilty, "It is my fault, Jess. If I hadn't shouted at you, told you to leave me alone, you wouldn't have been there, you would have been with me," Rory countered.

"Yes, I would have been with you, and maybe we would have been in that accident together. It could be you in this chair now, or you could be dead, did you ever think about that? Did you think how badly I would feel if that happened? Did you ever think that maybe you had nothing to do with this for a reason? Did you ever think that all of this happened for a reason?" Jess shouted, bringing his hands down on the arms of his chair for emphasis.

"What reason could there be for this, Jess? And don't start talking about divine…"

He cut her off. "You know, when Lucy suggested it, I thought it was crap, but maybe, just maybe it's true. Maybe this happened so we could have a second chance, so I could try again with you and not run away after I finally tell you…" Jess trailed off emotion making further speech impossible.

Rory finally moved closer to Jess. She stood right in front of him and gently cupped his cheek, "I'm sorry I was so awful to you back at Yale and I'm sorry I tried to appease my guilt by babying you and making you feel badly or helpless. I wasn't thinking of you and I apologize," Rory said sincerely. "What were you going to tell me?"

Jess sniffed and wiped his cheek that was not being cradled in Rory's hand, "I love you, Rory. I have for so long. I messed up, God knows that, but I love you, and I want to be with you, but I need you to let me be, Rory. I need to do for myself, push myself, find out my limits, and I need you to let me!"

"I…I was only trying to…"

"To protect me, I know," Jess replied. "But please, Rory, love me, don't smother me. Go back to Yale, live your dreams…love cannot equal sacrifice!" he declared.

"But I want to be here for you, with you…" Rory began.

"You can be, on the weekends," Jess replied. "But don't sacrifice your dreams for me, please."

"I can go to Southern Connecticut State and still major in journalism. I can get my Masters at Yale, that's what really counts anyway," Rory told him. "You say love shouldn't equal sacrifice, but I say it has to, otherwise all we are are two people that only look out for ourselves. We are more than that, Jess, we have to be," Rory declared. "Love is compromise and forgiveness and supporting each other, but it's not only me taking and you giving and it's not you giving and me taking either. It has to be about both of us, about sharing, about magic…"

Jess stopped her rant with his lips. "That's what I wanted you to say all along. But you have to let me try and fail. Just promise you'll be there to pick me up if I fall on my ass, literally or figuratively."

Rory closed her eyes and nodded slowly, "I promise, and I promise I'll try not to…but you can't stay quiet, you have to tell me when I'm making you uncomfortable."

Jess smiled and nodded, "It's a deal and you know how we close a deal right, Gilmore?"

"Right, Mariano," Rory replied and pressed her lips against his. "Seal it with a kiss."

Rory and Jess walked back to the house, Rory strolling beside Jess' chair, leaving him to be responsible for his own transportation. "Do you realize we've been had?" Jess asked.

"What? Mom and Luke having the Kinkirks give us a talking to. I know," Rory sighed.

"Glad they did?" Jess asked.

Rory squeezed Jess' shoulder, "Very glad."

Their job done, Lucy and Kevin departed Stars Hollow for Glen Oak the following day with the promise to return for a visit after Jess' spinal surgery which he and Rory agreed he should at least try on their way home from the bridge, it couldn't make it any worse, so why not.

On Friday night, for the first time in a long time; Lorelai, Rory, Luke, and Jess went to the Gilmore house for Friday night dinner. Emily and Richard were thrilled to see them all assembled together. In spite of bad first impressions, Jess' devotion to Rory and to Luke had earned him a place at the Gilmore table.

"How are you Luke?" Richard asked sitting down.

"Not bad," Luke replied. "I'm getting anxious to pay you back the money you spent to buy back the diner. The doctor should clear me soon."

"Excellent, you always had a strong work ethic, Luke. At least that's what Lorelai tells me," Emily said. "There's no rush you understand…"

"There is," Luke replied. "I owe you both more than I care to admit and that is simply not the Danes way, and I want to start repaying you."

Jess spoke up, "I could open for you, Uncle Luke. I can manage enough and we can rehire Caesar and Rory can fill in between classes…"

"That would be an awful long trip for her, from Yale to Stars Hollow every day," Richard said.

"Um, Grandpa, I wanted to talk to you about that," Rory began, but Emily cut her off.

"She's transferring Richard, to that Southern Connecticut College." It was said with an air of disappointment.

"Why would you do that?" Richard asked then looked over at Jess, "Oh."

"Mr. Gilmore, it's not what you think…" Jess began, but stopped when Richard stood up.

"Young man," he said flatly. "Follow me please. I'd like to speak with you in private."

Lorelai hit Luke hard in the ribs, "Ouch!"

"Luke," she whispered and moved her head towards the departing duo.

"I'll go with you there, uh, Richard," Luke said and rose to follow them out.

That move left the "Gilmore Girls" alone in the living room.

"I hope this isn't a repeat of the Dean incident," Lorelai sighed.

"It won't be, Jess has a brain in his head," Emily sighed. "Even if he can be somewhat rude at times, although the accident did mellow him out a bit."

"Yes, it did," Lorelai agreed. "He actually speaks in full sentences now."

"You know, Rory, I'm glad that Jess is going to college with you," Emily sighed. "But I am utterly disappointed you're giving up Yale."

Lorelai whispered in Rory's ear, "And the hit's just keep on coming."

Coming Up: Luke takes Jess on a shopping trip and they both do some impulse buying.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

A/N: There isa part in this chapter where Rory and Jess begin to explore each other physically. There is nothing too heavy by my estimation so I'm leaving the rating alone for now. In the future, this rating may change although I do not see myself doing much more than what is in this section. I only went the way I did hear to demonstrate Jess' way of proving his committment, and of easing Rory's fears. Before this scene Rory and Jess have a conversation where he makes certain promises to her. Part of that dialouge is taken from the movie Stepmom and I neglected to credit the writers and producers for that movie. Thanks to raven13n for pointing out my faux pas. My apologies. Hope you enjoy. R/R! Thanks.

Jess lay in bed a few nights later and studied the ceiling. Rory lay snuggled against his side sound asleep. He was glad she was sleeping peacefully, getting rest. He'd had a few nights that had kept them awake, and she needed the rest.

He loved watching her sleep, this perfect creature who was his. Her hair felt across her back, just to a length that allowed him to play with its silkiness. Her face was angelic in sleep, not one brow furrowed or frown line, just elegant perfection.

Jess moved his head and placed a kiss on Rory's forehead. She stirred in her sleep, but instead of settling back down she made a small noise and tossed about, her once peaceful face contorting, the one time silence shattering as she whimpered and sobbed his name, "Jess!" she cried. "Jess, please, please speak to me. Don't leave me, don't leave me again. Please. Please," she sobbed.

"Rory," Jess said in her ear. "Rory, wake up, Baby. It's a dream, Rory!" Jess pushed himself up so he could shake Rory's shoulder as she continued to cry, "Rory!" he barked and finally she bolted awake sweating and shaking. Jess cupped her cheek with his hand, "Rory? Baby?"

It took a moment for Rory to register Jess' voice. When she did she turned to him flinging her arms around his neck and held on tight, "Oh my God!" she sobbed. "Oh my God!"

"Ssh," Jess said in her ear. "Ssh, it's all right, Baby. I'm here, it's all right."

"Oh, Jess, it was so horrible. We were in your car and it was raining and we skidded and hit a pole and there was so much blood and…" Rory took a breath and started crying again. "I asked you not to leave me again, Jess. I wouldn't survive it," she declared and buried her wet face in his shoulder.

Jess tightened his arms around her and kissed her hair, her cheeks, her eyes, and finally her lips. "I thought you should never say never," Rory whispered remembering a talk they had when they first dated.

"Well," Jess smiled and smoothed her hair back. "You can say never if you mean it enough to say it twice. I'll never, never leave you again."

Rory smiled, "It's like always always."

Jess kissed her nose, "Promise, promise."

"I love you," Rory whispered and tilted her head for a kiss.

"Me too," Jess whispered and claimed the prize that Rory offered to him.

Since the accident, Jess had shown Rory attention and affection when they weren't at odds with one another, but he'd never tried to step it up, to go beyond tender kisses and gentle caresses. Now, he felt compelled to move this to an entirely new level of heat and passion.

"Jess," Rory whimpered hoarsely. "I…But what about your…" Rory began to protest but was silence as Jess leaned in to silence her with a kiss.

It was a slow wondering kiss, a gentle touch that sought, but did not pursue, a delicate tasting of her lips that lacked the aggressiveness of masculine need. She quivered in his arms, her hands automatically moving to his shoulders to shove him away if he pressed beyond the guarded borders of intimacy she would accept. Jess didn't try to deepen the kiss. He raised his mouth and touched his nose to hers, lolling his head side to side in a soft, brushing movement.

After a long moment, he drew back slightly and let his gaze roam over her face with a certain curiosity. Rory couldn't look away from his eyes, watching his irises expand until they had almost become black. What was he thinking? What was on his mind that caused the sudden flash of desperation in those dark eyes, the shadow that crossed his face? His eyes lingered on the soft, trembling fullness of her lips, and then slowly lifted to meet her gaze. They stared at each other, so close that she could see her reflection in them and knew he could see himself in hers.

"I love your eyes, Rory. Their like deep blue pools," Jess whispered placing a kiss on each eyelid. "I could drown in your eyes."

Rory swallowed; her heart seemed to be rising to her throat. Her hands were still on his shoulders; beneath the warmth of his flesh she could feel the quivering in his muscles as he levered himself up on his elbows, the weight of his lower body still pressed into hers from the waist down. She could feel the pressure of his manhood against her belly. It warmed her almost as much as his next words did.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he murmured. "I love you so much, Baby. You are the best thing in my life, in my entire life."

She could not answer; instead, she shook her head blindly as fresh tears made her eyes glitter. He sucked in his breath and kissed her again. This time he was more aggressive, parting her lips and slowly penetrating her mouth with his tongue, giving her the time to decide if she would accept his caress. She was trembling in his arms, afraid to let herself be tempted by the gently touch, yet she was tempted, very much so. Her tongue moved hesitantly and touched his, withdrew, returned for another shy taste, and finally lingered. He tasted marvelous. He deepened the kiss, exploring the ridges of her teeth, the soft sweetness of her mouth. Rory lay quietly beneath him, aware of the growing force of his passion, yet she was still shocked when his mouth turned hard and demanding asking for more than she was ready to give.

"Jess," Rory gasped for breath, running her hands down his hard back. "Jess, we…I…and my Mom…"

"You're Mom and Luke are at the Dragonfly, it's only you and me, here…alone, together," he assured her and resumed his ministrations.

He pleaded, "Let me touch you…my God, I've go to touch you!"

Rory caught her breath on a sob as she felt his fingertips trace lightly over her chest and squeezed her eyes shut even more tightly than before. For a moment, she was frightened at the unfamiliarity of a man's touch on her, this was not a step she thought they should be taking. It was risky, it was foreign, and far too intimate for Rory's guarded emotions. Jess sensed her hesitation and spoke to soothe her, "Rory, honey, open you eyes. Look at me; look at how I'm shaking. Touching you makes me dizzy," he whispered fiercely. "Look at me love; look at me."

Rory's eyes fluttered open and she found that he'd moved closer, until his face was filling her vision, so his brown eyes were filled with undeniable emotion, love and hunger. His trembling fingers were still moving only lightly over her, though the heat of his hand burned her even through her nightgown.

"That…that's enough," she said, her voice thin, wavering out of control, "This isn't right."

"It's perfect," he cajoled, "I need you, Rory. It's been so long…can't you tell how much I need you? Please."

Even as the words were tumbling from his lips, his fingers were busy slipping the tiny pearl buttons on her nightgown free from the buttonholes. The buttons ran down to her waist and he worked until he'd undone every one of them while she lay helplessly transfixes at the force of his need. Slowly, he opened the gown and pushed it off her creamy white shoulders dropping the cloth down her arms and bearing her to the waist.

"I've dreamed of this," he whispered hoarsely, "You take my breath away," he whispered and lowered his head to give her the attention she needed to relax.

Rory began to tremble again, she didn't know what to do, how to handle this. She had no real experience with men, she's made out with Dean but she never let him see her, really see her, without clothing. Rory wanted Jess to see her that way, to be with her that way, but she couldn't help but feel badly for not being able to reciprocate, for not knowing how to give him the pleasure he was giving her.

"You're beautiful," Jess whispered and moved up to kiss her lips again. Finally, Rory could finally move and her fingers played with his hair at the base of his neck, moving his head down to her chest once again, wanting to feel that pleasure again. She thought dimly that she'd pull his head away, but instead she urged him on, relishing in the feel of his attentions.

Rory moaned a keening sound that reflected both the tumult he stirred in her and her fear of going any further. She'd spent too long nurturing this man, agonized over him too much, felt his pain, celebrated his triumphs as he began to regain his strength and use of his arms, loved him, cared for him. How could she refuse him now? She nodded her head, silently letting him know that she'd let him love her. He looked into her eyes and saw her fear. He gently brushed a hair back from her face and whispered, "It's all right, Baby. It's all right. You know I won't hurt you. I would never hurt you. Let's get you out of this."

Slowly he slid the nightgown the rest of the way down her body and with her assistance shed his own clothing. Her eyes were still wide opened, drawing his gaze, letting him know that she was giving herself to him, that she was doing this for him. She was afraid of this intimacy, but she trusted him and believed he'd not hurt her. Even with that assurance, when he pushed her thighs open to settle between them, she stiffened and closed her legs.

"No, honey, don't. I'm going to make love to you. I'm going to make it beautiful," he whispered as she relaxed and he slowly and gently reached to her private area to touch the forbidden area.

"You're ready," he whispered, "You feel so good."

Rory moaned as she felt his hands on her and lifted her hips to encourage him to go further, to show her what he knew, to take her to the wonderful place that he promised he show her. Instead of taking her though, Jess abruptly stopped his ministrations, and leaned against Rory's chest, breathing hard.

"Jess?" she asked, confused as to why he stopped when she just wanted him to start.

"I can't uh…I…I don't know how to do this, uh, like this, and…" he turned his face away embarrassed to continue.

Rory understood and nodded, "It's all right. I don't know how to do this either, we're in uncharted territory."

Jess lifted his head and turned back to Rory, "I want to know how to do this, how to be with you like that. But…I'm not even sure if it works."

Rory sensed his meaning and blushed deeply. Trying to lighten the mood she smiled, "Oh, it works," she replied and he laughed.

"Huh," Jess responded. "Good to know. Can you get some more sleep now?" he asked tenderly brushing a piece of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"Yes," Rory replied. "Please hold me," she requested.

Jess too her and pulled her closer to his side, pressing her head against his shoulder. Rory put her arm around his waist and whispered, "Let's just hold each other for the rest of our lives."

Jess kissed her forehead again, "That's my plan," he replied as they both drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, Rory woke early to make coffee and squeeze juice before she headed to class and Jess went to work at the diner. It took Jess awhile to get ready in the morning because he insisted on doing things all on his own, but doing that made him feel good so Rory tried not to usurp him. Their cereal bars and beverages were ready by the time he showered and dressed. They ate together, then Rory got ready. It was ideal with her schedule and is that they do it this way.

Rory's transfer to Southern Connecticut State College made her work load easier so she could afford to spend the time commuting, working in the diner, and caring for Jess. Yale wasn't located inconveniently, but the work was so intense it buried her, she needed to be free of that to be with Jess, and they both knew it.

Jess was in an excellent mood when he got to the diner that morning. He and Rory he believed finally defined where their relationship was going, and that was all the way, not stopping until they made it to the end of what he prayed would be a very long straight road.

"Good morning, Luke, Lorelai," Jess greeted. "Where do you need me?"

"Um refill some coffees and waters," Luke replied and couldn't suppress a chuckle at Jess' jolliness.

"He's in a good mood," Luke said. "I mean the last three weeks have been better, but he's very…" Luke paused when he noticed Lorelai looked worried.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy about this?"

"Luke…I'm glad Jess is happy, but think…he's really happy, we spent the night at the Dragonfly, they were at the house, all night, alone, come on…" Lorelai painted.

"You mean," Luke's tone was hushed. "You think they were…you...he can't…can he?"

Lorelai shrugged, "I don't know, but it makes sense. You get exceptionally cheerful when we've just connected on a certain level."

Lorelai watched Luke's face turn several shades of red before h called out, "Jess, can I see you in the storeroom?"

Jess put down the coffee pot and joined Luke, "What's up?"

"What happened between you and Rory last night?"

"Nothing. We talked, we ate, we watched a movie, we went to bed," Jess replied.

"Together?" Luke asked.

"Yes, for like two months, Luke," replied Jess. "But we slept together, we didn't _sleep_ together."

"Then why so happy?" Luke asked. "You're never this happy."

"Because we talked okay…we talked and I realized that I'm done," Jess answered. "I have what I never thought I'd want, but now that I do…I realized last night I want to spend the rest of my life with Rory, and even better, she wants to do the same with me. That tends to make you pretty happy."

Luke thought of Lorelai for a minute, "Yeah, it does."

"Oh, by the way, Luke, I have to go to the mall later. Rory wants me to get her school stuff," Jess told him.

"Oh, I hate the mall. Anyway, I have that meeting with the guy Richard Gilmore recommended to file a countersuit against Taylor," Luke replied. "Cant' you ask Lorelai to take you?"

"No, Rory said you. She says Lorelai likes to make the post it notes talk and buys flashy pads, and so," Jess countered.

"Can we go tomorrow then?"

"Nope, has to be today. Rory made a list," Jess replied. "Anyway, you'll all ready be in Hartford. Take me to the lawyers. You always two sets of ears…"

"Okay, after the lawyer we'll go to the mall and get whatever she needs you to get.

"Great," Jess said turning to go out of the door. "And thanks."

Luke knew Jess well enough to know the younger man was not only thanking him for the loyalty and support of the past months, "Ah, go and refill the coffees," Luke replied and started taking inventory with a smile on his face.

In Hartford Plaza later that day as Jess and Luke exited the Office Supply Depot, Jess' chair loaded with bags, he and Luke discussed the advice they'd heard from the Gilmore's lawyer.

"Apparently, he thinks we can get enough money from Taylor for the deformation of character suit to pay back Richard and have some left over," Luke said. "Please now that I sublet your Grandpa's place, we have some breathing room."

"You should have asked Richard for advice a long time ago," Jess said.

"I know, but Lorelai…"

"Speaking of Lorelai, when are you going to do it?" Jess interjected.

"I think you all ready know that answer," Luke smirked.

'No, I mean propose. When are you going to pop the question?" Jess asked.

"Well," Luke blushed. "We haven't been together that long."

"Sure you have. You said it, you and Lorelai have been together forever. You just didn't know it."

"True, but Lorelai can be very skittish," Luke reminded him.

"So can you, Uncle Luke," Jess countered and turned his wheelchair towards the Kay jewelers.

"Jess," Luke called after him when he realized where he was going. "What are you doing?"

"Impulse buying," Jess offered as his only reply.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty-Two

That night in the Gilmore house, Rory and Jess were doing the dishes, Luke was putting away the leftovers, and Lorelai was "supervising" everyone's work.

"So, I have some catching up to do because I'm a late transfer, but the classes are really interesting," Rory was saying. "There's one on films as historical references, their validity and such and how to tell. It's going to be fun. Oh, and the professor, Professor Rydell is his name, he shoots you with a water gun if you come into class late."

"You better not take that class," Luke teased Lorelai.

"Ha, ha," Lorelai scoffed. "So what's on tomorrow's agenda?"

"I have classes until four," sighed Rory.

"I have the appointment with the doctor Matt recommended," Jess replied.

"About the laser surgery?" Rory asked.

"Yeah, it's just a consult though, nothing definite," Jess replied.

"I wanted to go with you," Rory sighed.

"Luke's going to come. I don't want you to miss any classes," Jess said. "He's only going to evaluate me and decide if I can even have the operation. If we get past this point, then I'll make the next appointment when you can be there."

Rory leaned over to kiss Jess and Lorelai smiled, "Lucy and Kevin did a terrific job, didn't they?"

"Yeah," Luke sighed. "So did you. She's who she is because of you, you know?"

Lorelai nodded, "And he is who he is because of you," she whispered back. "I love you, Luke."

"Mm," Luke murmured. "Me too." And then he kissed her.

Jess finished drying the dishes and used the wet towel to wack Rory on the behind, "Come on, empty out that pan. We're going to start the movie."

Lorelai watched as Jess and Rory went in their separate directions, then complained, "Who said he could pick the movie?" she pouted.

"He didn't pick the movie," Luke replied. "I did."

An hour later, Rory and Lorelai were both sound asleep. Jess had moved himself into the big recliner that Richard and Emily bought him. Rory was cuddled up next to him, Luke was on the sofa with Lorelai, her head in his lap as he stroked her hair affectionately. Rory occasionally stirred in her sleep, when she did, Jess tightened his hold and kissed her forehead.

"So, are you really going to do it?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, I consider myself the luckiest man in the world. I'll never find myself a better partner. I love her," Jess declared. "And I'm going to marry her. Tomorrow, after I tell her that the doctor says he can operate, once I know I can be a real husband to her, I'm going to give her the ring and I'm going to marry her."

"Jess, you're awfully young. You can't possibly," Luke began.

"Luke after these last few months I know more about committing and…I want to be with Rory and live as her husband," Jess told him.

Luke let out a long sigh, "I wish I could argue with you, Jess. But the truth is I feel the same way myself," he said looking down at Lorelai. "What do you want to do about them? Should I carry Rory to bed so you can do your thing?"

Jess nodded, "Please. She's usually up two hours or so a night with me so I don't want to disturb her now."

Luke gently moved Lorelai into the sitting position and lifted her into his arm, "I'll be right back."

Half an hour later, Rory was still peacefully sleeping in her and Jess' bed downstairs. Upstairs, Lorelai and Luke lay awake holding each other in the dark. Out of the blue Luke said, "He wants to marry her."

"I know," Lorelai said. "And as much as I hate to admit it, she wants to marry him. I'm…my only fear is they're too young to make it last."

"I was at first too, but they've been through so much in the last four months. If one or the other really wanted out…"

Lorelai cut him off, "I know you're right," she sighed. "I'm just not sure I'm ready to lose a daughter."

"Think of it this way," Luke chuckled. "You won't be losing a daughter, but you'll be gaining one big pain in the ass."

The following afternoon, Luke and Jess waited in Dr. Michael Thorton's inner office. The esteemed neurosurgeon had been recommended to Jess by Drs. Davis and Camden. The physician had just examined Jess and now they waited.

"Jess," Luke said. "Whatever he says about the operation, I don't want you to lose hope. Just because it's no now, doesn't mean it will be no forever."

"I know, Luke. Que sera sera, right?"

Luke nodded, "Right."

A few minutes later, the door opened and Dr. Thornton came in. His face was serious and looking at it made Jess' stomach drop, "So?" he asked expectantly.

"Mr. Mariano, Mr. Danes, I've looked over all of the tests Dr. Davis ran, I've read the therapists reports, and weighted all that information against my own assessments. Before I tell you my decision, I want you to be aware that spinal surgery of any kind has risks and in paraplegics, those risks are increased tenfold. As this is a very knew procedure, you could potentially end up worse off than you are right now," the doctor explained.

"Dr. Camden told us about the risk of infection, but we decided to try anyway," Jess replied.

Dr. Thornton nodded, "I see why your doctors feel you'll benefit from surgery an d you are a young man, Jess, however, I don't feel with your present condition this surgery will benefit you. This is not a cure-all, Mr. Mariano. You'll have to work and work hard to gain any benefit and I don't think you are physically in the condition to handle such an undertaking.

"So your saying no? The answer…the answer is no?" Jess asked his voice desperate.

The doctor nodded and removed his glasses, "For the time being I'm afraid so, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry!" Jess snapped. "You're…"

Luke put a strong hand on Jess' shoulder, "Jess, calm down. Let's just go home."

Luke took Jess' chair and pulled it back, but Jess took over powering it himself. "Suppose I best get used to it," he murmured and left the doctor alone in his office.

Jess was quiet the whole drive back to Stars Hollow. It was nearly four o'clock by the time they got back. "Should I drop you at the house? Rory should be home by now."

"Um, no. I need some time to think before I face her. You can leave me at the diner I'll get myself home," Jess replied.

"If you're sure you're welcome to," Luke replied. "Supper at six."

Jess went down to the bridge and looked out at the water. The lake wasn't deep, only three feet or about, but looking into it, the water seemed endless. Just like this problem now did, this morning he'd been dreaming of being here, proposing to Rory at their special spot, giving her the tiny golden ring with the little speck of a stone he'd bought on credit the day before. Now that dream might as well be at the bottom of the lake.

It was a little after six when Luke arrived home and was greeted by jumpy and eager Lorelai and Rory. "So. How did it go?" Lorelai asked.

"Didn't Jess tell you?" Luke asked his expression crestfallen.

"No," Rory replied. "He's not with you."

"No, he wanted to be alone. The, uh, the news isn't good. We were turned down," Luke sighed and Lorelai went to him and put her arms around his waist. "I have no idea where he got to."

"I have a pretty good idea," Rory sighed. "I'll be back in a bit."

Rory immediately headed for the bridge. If Jess was upset or hurting he would be there. He loved that place. It was his place and after awhile it became their place. Sure enough Jess was there staring at his lap, opening and closing something that he held in his hand.

"Hey," Rory greeted. "Dinner's ready."

Jess started when he heard her voice. He should have expected her, but as he sat there he had no idea how much time had passed. The sudden start caused him to drop the box he'd been holding. Rory closed on his and bent to retrieve it. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw what was nestled in the dark blue velvet.

"Jess, what is this?"

"Nothing," he mumbled and stared at the water.

"Oh no. This is something. Definitely something," Rory countered, somewhat uneasily. She moved closer and knelt in front of Jess, blue eyes meeting brow. "What is this?"

"Itsyourengagementring," Jess mumbled quickly.

"My what?" she asked gently.

"Your ring, okay. I wanted to give it to you when I told you that I was going to be able to have the surgery. But now…now that's not happening so I might as well…" He reached to take the box from her hand but she moved it out of his reach.

"Jess, you wanted to…you were…" Rory was speechless.

"Yeah. I love you and I wanted to be your husband, but I wanted it to be real, not like this. I'll…I don't want this for you," he looked at his lap.

"Shouldn't I be the judge of that?" she asked softly. "I want to be with you. I love you."

Jess leaned over and gently kissed her lips. "I really wanted that operation, you know? I wanted to dance with you on our wedding day, make love to you, walk the floors with our babies…I had so many dreams…" His voice caught and a tear leaked out of his eye.

Rory smiled a sad smile and brushed the tear away. "We still can have those dreams, being together is how we get those dreams, Jess. Walking would just be a fringe benefit. Now are you going to put that ring on my finger or what?"

Jess couldn't help but chuckle as he removed the tiny ring from it's box, "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes," she nodded firmly through tears and watched as Jess slipped the ring on her left ring finger.

Jess smiled, "You do realize this qualifies as a deal right?"

"But of course," Rory replied in a faux French accent and leaned in to kiss him. "Now, let's go tell my Mom and Luke.

Luke and Lorelai were both pacing the kitchen when Rory and Jess bolted into the house by way of the kitchen entrance. "Mom, Luke…guess what!"

"What? You look happy! I didn't think this news would constitute a happy."

"That news doesn't, but…" Rory held out her hand. "This news does."

Lorelai let out a shrill screech and grabbed Rory holding her tightly. "I'm so happy for you. I didn't think I would be, but I am. Oh, Sweets, congratulations. Congratulations Jess." Lorelai leaned over to kiss her new "son" on the cheek.

"Thanks, Lorelai," he smiled.

Luke leaned over and hugged his nephew, "I'm proud of you. Congratulations."

"Wow, this is really…" Lorelai started then stopped, her face suddenly getting sad.

"Mom?" Rory asked worried. She truly wanted Lorelai to be happy for her and Jess. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just always thought that I'd get married before my daughter did," Lorelai sighed.

Jess looked over at Luke and made a sideways motion with his head. Luke took a deep breath and turned to Lorelai, "Actually…I wanted to talk to you about that."


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

Jess and Luke waited nervously outside the Gilmore mansion for the maid to open the door.

"Remind me again why we are doing this?" Jess asked as he fiddled with his tie. "I feel really stupid. They all ready said yes."

"Just…" Luke began but then the door was opened by Richard Gilmore, not a nameless maid.

"Luke, Jess, come in," Richard greeted and opened the second door to accommodate Jess' wheelchair. "To what do I owe the pleasure this fine day?"

"Um, well, we, um, we wanted to talk to you and Mrs. Gilmore about…where is Mrs. Gilmore?" Jess asked, praying that he only had to deal with one of Rory's grandparents at a time.

"She's getting her hair done," Richard replied. "I felt it best to have this discussion between us men as I believe I've guessed by your attitude and attire as to why you are here."

Luke bounced his knees nervously, "Mr. Gilmore, Lorelai and I have known each other for some time now, going on nine years. We've seen each other through a lot of things, some good, and some bad. Lately, as you know, Lorelai and I have expanded out relationship beyond friendship and a few nights ago, I asked Lorelai to be my wife and she accepted," Luke explained. "And I'm here to ask for your blessing."

Richard was quiet for a moment taking in what Luke had just said. He knew this man loved Lorelai, he knew he was responsible and hard working, and he knew that he had his priorities straight. His financial situation was worrisome, but stabilizing. There was no need to worry about Luke Danes. In fact, he was relieved Luke was here asking and not Jess.

"Well, this certainly is no surprise," Richard smiled. "And I might add, it is somewhat of a relief. For a minute there I thought Jess would be the one asking," Richard chuckled but stopped when he saw neither Luke nor Jess was amused.

"Actually, Sir," Jess began.

"Son, I like you. Honestly, I do. Rory likes you, loves you even and anyone who would swallow his pride and ask virtual strangers for money to save his uncle's diner is worthy of my respect. You and Rory are young, she's still in college, you aren't even in college…I cannot give my permission or my blessing to what I see as an ill-fated union," Richard declared.

"Mr. Gilmore, Rory will finish school. I'll get my GED and I'll go to SCS with Rory," Jess told him. "I've researched it. I can get a job on campus and we can live in a couples' apartment."

"You're too young, Jess. One shouldn't consider marriage until after college. Have you even though about a career?" Richard asked.

"Yes, I even know what I want to major in once I get to SCS. I want to major in English and work at Hartford Rec Center with those kids who are in trouble," Jess said. "I want to marry Rory and live with her. I know we're young, but I'm in a pretty adult scenario here, and if Rory and I are still in love with each other enough to discount the obvious difficulties of this situation, I think we're in love enough to make a marriage work whether we're nineteen, twenty-nine, or fifty-nine," Jess declared. "I don't have much money, but I do have potential, and I'll promise to give Rory all the benefits of that."

Richard fingered his moustache, deep in thought. This was the boy Emily called a hoodlum that left Rory and broke her heart. Now he was here, telling him how much he loved his granddaughter. He didn't want to withhold his blessing because he knew Rory would marry Jess anyway, but at least he could attach conditions.

'All right, young man," Richard sighed. "I'll give you my permission and my blessing..."

"Thank you…" Jess began but was cut off.

'But under the certain conditions," Richard added. "First, you will complete the high school equivalency examine before the wedding date. Second, you will enroll in SCS, on a part time basis and will live in Hartford or Stars Hollow so you can work part time for my company. Third, you will continue your physical therapy and do you best to remain healthy enough to care for my granddaughter as a husband should. Are these conditions acceptable to you?"

Jess thought a moment about what Richard said. "Okay, on the GED thing and the part time school thing. I do counter on the working in your company, well at least with working for you."

"Why is that?" Richard asked.

"Because if you hand me the job, I want to work to keep the job," Jess explained. "I have some pride and I want a supervisor who doesn't care that I'm married to Richard Gilmore's granddaughter."

"All right," Richard agreed. "I'll arrange it. Are the rest of the conditions acceptable?"

"Yes," Jess nodded. "But I want a health plan, that will cover my therapy and any procedure associated with my condition so Luke doesn't have to…"

"Done," Richard said. "So I take it we have a deal?"

Jess nodded and looked at Luke, who was smiling. "We do."

"Well, then welcome to the family," Richard shook Jess' hand. "Both of you."

At the Dragonfly Inn that same day, Lorelai, Rory, and Sookie were talking about the wedding ceremony and party.

"This is going to be so cool," Sookie exclaimed. "One gigantic Stars Hollow extravaganza. I'll do the food, Lane can DJ, Rev. Skinner can perform the ceremonies…"

"Um, actually Jess and I were hoping that Lucy could marry us," Rory spoke up. "And we never discussed the whole double wedding ceremony idea."

"I thought it would go without saying," Lorelai replied.

"For m it would, but we really should discuss this with Luke and Jess. They might not want big weddings or lively parties," Rory suggested.

"You get married you have a party, that's how it's done," Sookie countered. "Not even sticks in the mud like Luke and Jess can argue with that."

"I'm just saying, it's their wedding too and we shouldn't make any decisions without them here," Rory sighed. "It said in Modern Bride that's how 50 of all premarital spats start, with unilateral decision making."

"That is true. Remember my brief sojourn into Emilyland?" Sookie reminded Lorelai.

Lorelai laughed, "Okay, we'll wait for the boys. By the way, where are our boys?"

"Oh, they're in Hartford," Rory murmured.

"What are they doing in…Rory, no?" Lorelai exclaimed. "Tell me Luke and Jess aren't talking to my parents!"

Rory blushed and looked at the floor, "Just to Grandpa. It's important to me that we have their blessing. Grandpa likes Luke and Jess, he should be fine."

"Rory, your grandfather is not going to give Jess his blessing without strings attached, now when he hasn't even finished high school," Lorelai told her.

"Jess wants to get his GED and go to college. If he tells Grandpa that, it'll be okay," Rory replied.

"I hope for your sake that's true, Babe," Lorelai said.

"Lorelai, your parents aren't that bad," Sookie piped up.

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Just you wait Henry Higgins."

Luke and Jess went to the diner after talking to Richard, "So how do you feel about starting work in the white collar world?"

"Okay, this will make Rory happy and that's all that really matters," Jess replied.

"You have to be happy, too, Kid," Luke reminded him.

"I will be happy as long as Rory is happy, and she wouldn't be happy without her grandparents' blessings," Jess answered.

"Speaking of blessings, you might want to consider calling your Mom and letting her know…"

"Nope," Jess said. "I don't want her here causing a scene, and I'm not asking Jimmy either."

"Jess…I want to ask Liz. She's messed up and she hasn't been around much, but she's your mother, my sister…family."

"I have all the family I need here," Jess countered."

"Jess," Luke protested.

"No! She wasn't around when I needed her, or when you needed her. As far as I'm concerned, I don't have a mother anymore or a father. I have no parents; I was hatched from an egg, so there you go!"

Luke knew it would be useless to argue with Jess so he let it slide and continued kneeding pie crusts.

Jess stirred the warm apple mixture in silence for few minutes then, "If you want Lizzy at your wedding, invite her. I just don't want her playing any role in my half of the ceremony."

"You do realize Lorelai and Rory are going to want a big double wedding," Luke said.

"Yep, I also think a double is a good idea, economical, quick, we'll only have to wear the tuxes once…"

"And," Luke added. "We'll both have the same anniversary so we can remind each other not to forget it."

"That's the best reason yet," Jess agreed. "When do you want to tell them?"

"Oh, Luke1" Lorelai called.

"I guess now," Jess replied. "You talk to her, I'll make the pie."

Luke went into the main part of the diner and greeted the girls. He kissed Lorelai's lips.

"So how was Hell?" Lorelai asked.

"Lovely," Luke teased. "We talked, we bargained, we decided that I get some linens and a couple hundred bucks for taking you off his hands.."

Lorelai's face was contorted in an expression of disgust, "You are kidding."

"Of course, I'm kidding," Luke told her. "Jess was the only one who had to make bargains."

Rory's face went pale, "Oh no. Where is he?"

"In the kitchen," Luke replied and Rory was off.

Lorelai's cell phone rang, "Hello," she said into the receiver on her way out of the diner.

"Lorelai, this is your mother," came through the phone.

"Hi, Mom. How are you?"

"I'd be better if I didn't just find out from your father that Luke and Jess were here today asking permission to marry you and Rory. Please, tell me I didn't hear right," Emily ranted.

"Yes, Mom, you heard right. Luke and Jess proposed to us a few days ago," Lorelai replied.

"Jess is not a proper husband for Rory. He can't look after her or take care of her properly…"

"Yeah, he can, Mom. Jess love Rory, and she loves him. They take care of each other," Lorelai countered.

"What will our friends think? Our only granddaughter marrying a crippled blue collar…our brilliant Ivy League granddaughter. You were a lost cause long ago, but I had high hopes for Rory. How could you let her…"

Lorelai cut Emily off, "Because I love her Mom. I love my daughter and I want to see her happy. If she's happy with Jess, I'll be happy for her. I wish you would be too."

Emily was silent for a long moment, "I'll try Lorelai, but I can't promise anything."

"That's fair enough. This is Rory's choice, Rory's life. I'm thrilled she's with Jess. He's good to her and he loves her, but even if I didn't support this decision, I still support Rory," Lorelai declared.

"So, we'll see you Friday for dinner?" Emily ventured.

"Actually, Mom, Rory and I wanted to have a dinner at the inn Friday with all the people who'd be involved in the weddings. We'd like you and Dad there," Lorelai said a bit nervous.

"Um, we'd love to be there," Emily said in an emotionless tone. "We'll see you then."

Later that night, as Rory and Jess lay in bed Rory started giggling again. "It's not funny," Jess protested. "I hate suits."

"It's not funny," Rory agreed. "But it is sweet."

Jess quickly kissed her, "It could be cool."

"Could be or it could be awful," Rory sighed.

"Awful like the tickle monster awful…" Jess teased and began to tickle Rory's side. She shrieked and tried to get away.

"Hey!" Luke called. "Pipe down.'

Jess pulled back and he and Rory tried to stop laughing, "Sorry," he called out. "Night, Luke. Goodnight, Lorelai."

"Goodnight, Jess," they chorused.

Rory kissed Jess again softly, "My sentiments exactly." With that she snuggled close and went to sleep.

A/N: I want to do the wedding in about four chapters. I've decided that Luke and Lorelai's song will be Reflecting Light. I want the readers to vote on Rory and Jess' song so at the end of each chapter I will put two choices. The winner of each chapter's vote will go against another song until I see the consensus. Looking forward to your feedback. Tell me which of the two best fits our favorite couple.

I Just Called to Say I Love You By Stevie Wonder

No New Year's Day to celebrate  
No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away  
No first of spring  
No song to sing  
In fact here's just another ordinary day

No April rain  
No flowers bloom  
No wedding Saturday within the month of June  
But what it is, is something true  
Made up of these three words that I must say to you

I just called to say I love you  
I just called to say how much I care  
I just called to say I love you  
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

No summer's high  
No warm July  
No harvest moon to light one tender August night  
No autumn breeze  
No falling leaves  
Not even time for birds to fly to southern skies

No Libra sun  
No Halloween  
No giving thanks to all the Christmas joy you bring  
But what it is, though old so new  
To fill your heart like no three words could ever do

I just called to say I love you  
I just called to say how much I care, I do  
I just called to say I love you  
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

I just called to say I love you  
I just called to say how much I care, I do  
I just called to say I love you  
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart,  
of my heart

I just called to say I love you  
I just called to say how much I care, I do  
I just called to say I love you  
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart,  
baby of my heart

Ring Of Fire by Johnny Cash

Love is a burning thing  
and it makes a firery ring  
bound by wild desire  
I fell in to a ring of fire...

I fell in to a burning ring of fire  
I went down,down,down  
and the flames went higher.  
And it burns,burns,burns  
the ring of fire  
the ring of fire.

The taste of love is sweet  
when hearts like our's meet  
I fell for you like a child  
oh, but the fire went wild..

I fell in to a burning ring of fire

I went down,down,down  
and the flames went higher.  
And it burns,burns,burns  
the ring of fire  
the ring of fire.


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

A/N: So far, it looks like the songs are tied. I also have had other suggestions for songs that I will include in the voting process. I have decided to use this as a topic of discussion between Rory and Jess as ideas are tossed out to them they can discuss what song suits them best. Look to see the next two choices at the conclusion of this chapter.

Enjoy!

Chapter 24

After a wonderful meal prepared by Sookie, the Gilmore-Danes-Mariano wedding committee had it's first official meeting. Luke, Lorelai, Rory, and Jess had briefly discussed ideas for the wedding and had decided to indeed have a double ceremony and to have the wedding in the evening on December 31st. As it was all ready the end of September, they were seriously pressed for time and needed to delegate some of the more tedious jobs out to Stars Hollow locals.

Richard and Emily Gilmore were in attendance, along with Miss Patty, Babette, Sookie, Lane, Michel, and Kirk. No one was sure why Kirk was there, he just was, and no one wanted to ask him.

Luke left the long table to make coffee, because Lorelai insisted that Luke's coffee and only Luke's coffee be served at the reception.

"Okay" Lorelai began. "While Luke is getting the coffee ready, I would like to make sure everyone is acquainted with my Mom and Dad. Mom, Dad, this is Patty, Babette, Lane, Michel, and Kirk. Kirk, what..." Lorelai started to ask, but thought better of it. "Never mind. And of course, you remember Sookie."

"Yes, the meal was excellent" Richard complemented.

"Thank you" Sookie beamed and did a little shift in her seat.

"Now" Lorelai continued. "If we can just get an overview of where we are at the point, so everyone knows who is in charge of what, we can finished with the boring stuff and have dessert. Patty, why don't you give it a start"

Miss Patty stood up"I'll be, as usual, in charge of chair and table rentals, and I'll also be providing the tent. Also, I'll be coaching the brides and their grooms on their first dan..." Patty blanched as her eyes fell on Jess. "I'm so sorry."

Jess shrugged"Don't worry about it. It's just a fact of life."

Richard noticed a flash of pain in his granddaughter's eyes. She was hurting for her young man, no doubt, but also for herself. It was more than likely the first time she realized that she wouldn't be dancing a first dance with her husband. Richard made a note to discuss this with Luke later.

"I also would be available to make sure Lorelai and her Dad and Rory and her Grandpa move well together" Patty concluded.

"What about Christopher" Emily asked. "Isn't Rory going to dance with her father"

"Um, no. I'd prefer to have that dance with Grandpa" Rory replied. "Dad's welcome to attend, but..."

Emily fell silent and Richard spoke"I'd love to do that with you, Rory." To Patty, he said"We'll set up a few lessons once I've checked my schedule."

"Good, that's set" Lorelai made a note on her clipboard as she was joined by Luke. "Babette."

"Okay, I'm on invitations. I'll send you the samples of the ones I likes next week. I'm so thrilled about this weddings, I mean weddings, I could invite by word of mouth, I could shout it from the rooftops, I could..."

"Why don't you just stick with sending us some sample invitations next week" Lorelai said to derail her. "Mom, fill us in on the color and style portion of the wedding. That could help you narrow it down a bit, Babette."

"Well, while my dream for this day was a Rom..."

Richard cut her off. "Emily."

"Anyway, given the time of year, the season, and the holiday, I think that ice blue and silver would be a nice choice. The brides' dresses can have discreet silver sparkles, the grooms can where silver cummerbunds..."

"Whoa" Luke interjected. "Who said anything about cummerbunds"

"Luke" Lorelai sighed. "It's your wedding day, you have to wear a tux and they come with cummerbunds. We'll find a flannel lined one, I promise."

"You're teasing me" Luke smirked.

"About the flannel, yes. About the tux, uh, no" she said definitively. "Go on, Mom."

"I'm also thinking that we should go with the New Years' Theme, top hats with flowers on the tables, dark orchids with white roses and silver glittering. The bridesmaid's dresses can be a combination of the two main colors...it's just an idea."

Lorelai looked at Rory and smiled. Emily was going simple, yet fun. She was trying to do this as they would like it to be done. "Rory, Jess" Lorelai asked.

"Sounds good" Jess agreed. "Babette, maybe you can ask to get silver lettering on the invites and maybe a quote about out with the old" Jess suggested.

"Excellent suggestion, Jess" Emily praised.

"Thanks" he stated and fell silent again.

"All right, Sookie" Lorelai continued. "Menu ideas"

"Well, the cake is going to be a mocha with buttercream filling and a whipped icing. Five layers..."

"There should be two cakes" Richard spoke up. "I had a cousin once who had a double ceremony, there are two cakes."

"I did read that" Rory added.

"Um, okay well," Lorelai agreed. "Sookie is that all right?"

"Sure, I'll think of another cake and run it by you in a couple of days. I'm thinking plain chocolate cake with strawberry filling and white whipped frosting," Sookie started gushing.

"Sounds perfect," Rory smiled. "Can we have that cake as our cake? You like strawberries right, hmm?"

"Um, yeah. I like strawberries," Jess replied. "It's okay by me." He shifted in his chair and Rory rubbed his arm.

"Good! Because I couldn't take another mocha cake," Luke said relieved.

Richard chuckled, "If she could my daughter would drink coffee flavored orange juice."

"Very funny, Dad," Lorelai replied. "What about main courses?"

"Choice of Chicken, Filet Mignon, or Salmon with croquette potatoes and steamed broccoli hollandaise," Sookie replied and was greeted with a series of approving sounds.

Lorelai smiled, "Wow! This is going really well. Let's hear from Lane on music."

"Oh, I thought you were going to get to me," Michel whined. "After all, I have nothing better to do on a Friday night than listen to you and Rory plan your unions with the flannel man and the leather boy."

"Your next, Michel. Go ahead, Lane," Lorelai instructed.

"The band and I are going to do a few sets, but mostly we'll use the CDs. So far we're using a traditional processional and recessional and during the lighting of the unity candle, Miss Patty will sing _Sunrise__, Sunset," _Lane informed them. "At the reception, Luke and Lorelai want us to play the more traditional March Militare for their entrance. Rory and Jess the way cooler, atypical _Guns of Brixton_.

"Hey," Lorelai griped. "I wanted a cool song. Luke wanted to go all classical."

"Lorelai, I'm sorry but I didn't think _The Authority Song_ was appropriate. I don't think _Guns of Brixton_ is either, but that bit of lunacy is Jess' problem," Luke defended. "My parents had that march at their wedding," he added a bit softly.

Lorelai didn't object again so Lane continued, "It's a nice piece, Luke. Also, you two said you want _Reflecting Light _for your first dance?"

"Yes," they both agreed and he kissed her hand.

"Um, Rory and I haven't decided yet," Jess said after a beat. "I thought of a few pieced all ready but…"

"Oh, you did?" Rory asked, pushing aside the knowledge Jess couldn't dance with her.

"Yeah, um, some are a bit, uh, different, but _I Just Called to Say I Love You, Ring of Fire, Collide, _and _The Search is Over_," he listed.

"I also like _Why__ Can't I?_ by Liz Phair," Rory added. "We'll talk about it and get back to you."

"Great!" Lane gushed. "Okay, and Lorelai, Rory, as soon as you know what song you want to use to dance with Mr. Gilmore, let me know."

They nodded and finally Lorelai moved to Michel, "And finally, Michel, our wedding coordinator for the Dragonfly along with of course, yours truly."

"Thank you, Lorelai. Because of the date and size of the wedding we will use the main dining room to hold the ceremony. We can put the large chuppah…"

"Chuppah?" Emily gasped. "Aren't chuppahs Jewish? Lorelai and Rory aren't Jewish. Don't tell me…"

"Um, I'm not Jewish Mrs. Gilmore. I'm Presbyterian and Jess is Catholic. I made the chuppah for Lorelai when she was engaged to Max. It's very special to us," Luke explained.

"All right, now that we cleared up that the flannel man is not Jewish…the ceremony will take place here, in the main lobby and dining room. We have the tent set to connect through the back doors," Michel said closing his folder. "That is all I have to say. I'm going home now."

"Well that about does it for tonight any way. We'll each work on our respective assignment and meet back here in two weeks, so yes, Michel, you can go," Lorelai said.

Michel got his things together to leave and Sookie and Lorelai went to get dessert.

"Who is Luke going to have as his best man?" Sookie asked.

"His childhood friend David. He lives in Woodbury now. I've met him a few times, he's a nice guy," Lorelai replied.

"What about Jess?" Sookie continued.

"I'm not sure yet, but he mentioned a friend of his from New York. He moved to Harrisburg or something, but they write and talk on the phone. He's the only one of Jess' friends that knows about the accident. I think it's him."

"Nice," Sookie smiled. "Should be some interesting toasts?"

"Speaking of toasts, Rory and I want you and Lane to make toasts as well at the reception. Nothing as elaborate as the best man speech, but still something," Lorelai told her.

Sookie smiled and hugged her, "I'd be honored."

Meanwhile, Richard had cornered Luke in the Dragonfly reception area. "He's not feeling very well, is he?"

Luke looked over at Jess who was being attended to by Rory. They saw her tuck a pillow behind his back and hand him a pill and a glass of water. Luke shook his head, "No. He was hoping to have surgery on his back to relieve the pain and give him some chance of walking again even with aides, but the doctor said no."

Richard thought a moment, "Our family doctor has wonderful connections. Maybe he can recommend someone to do the operation. I'll mention it to Jess when he starts work on Monday. I know that he and Rory are upset thinking about their first dance. Maybe we can pull off the miracle they think they need."

Luke nodded, "I'm behind anything that'll get him out of that chair," he sighed and watched Rory get a throw and cover Jess' legs that were now beginning to quiver. He was breathing hard and she was gently kissing his temple.

They whispered to each other and Rory took Jess' chair and headed for the door. "We're going to go home. It's been a long night. See you soon, Grandpa. Bye Luke, and tell my Mom we had to go okay?"

Jess waved, "I'll see you Monday, Mr. Gilmore. Night Luke."

Richard sighed, "So would I, Luke," he agreed. "For both their sakes."

A/N: So far it is a tie. Here are all the contenders so far. There are about three or four more choices. Then you get to vote on invitation quotes.

_I Just Called To Say I Love You_

_Ring Of Fire_

**_Why Can't I? By Liz Phair_**

Get a load of me, get a load of you  
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you  
It's just like we were meant to be

Holding hands with you when we're out at night  
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right  
And I've got someone waiting too

What if this is just the beginning  
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up  
Finding someone else you can't get enough of  
Someone who wants to be with you too

It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch  
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch  
But wouldn't it be beautiful

Here we go, we're at the beginning  
We haven't just yet, but my heads spinning

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

High enough for you to make me wonder  
Where it's goin'  
High enough for you to pull me under  
Somethin's growin'  
out of this that we can control  
Baby I am dyin'

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

****

**_The Search Is Over by Survivor_**

How can I convince you what you see is real Who am I to blame you for doubting what you feel I was always reachin', you were just a girl I knew I took for granted the friend I have in you I was living for a dream, loving for a moment Taking on the world, that was just my style Now I look into your eyes, I can see forever The search is over, you were with me all the while Can we last forever, will we fall apart At times it's so confusing, the questions of the heart You followed me through changes, and patiently you'd wait Till I came to my senses, through some miracle of fate I was living for a dream, loving for a moment Taking on the world, that was just my style Now I look into your eyes, I can see forever The search is over, you were with me all the while Now the miles stretch out behind me, loves that I have lost Broken hearts lie victims of the game Then good luck, it finally stuck like lightning from the blue Every highway's leading me back to you Now at last I hold you, now all is said and done The search has come full circle, our destinies are one So if you ever loved me, show me that you give a damn You'll know for certain the man I really am I was living for a dream, loving for a moment Taking on the world, that was just my style When I touched your hand, I could hear you whisper The search is over, love was right before my eyes******_Collide Howie Day_**

The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you  
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know  
You make a frist impression  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find  
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide

You finally find  
You and I collide  
You finally find  
You and I collide


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

Monday morning Jess was up early and out in a cab headed for Hartford to start his new job at Richard's company. Rory was still sleeping when he woke up at a quarter to six showered and got dressed. The job required a suit or a least a sport coat and tie. He hated dressing up, but he saw this for what it was an opportunity for a good job with mobility, a real chance at giving Rory everything she wanted. For her happiness, he'd make any sacrifice.

Rory's classes started later on Monday so she got up later, about half past seven, Loreli was up in the kitchen making coffee.

"Hey, Babe," she greeted and noticed the bags under her daughter's eyes. "Rough night?"

Rory stretched, "Yeah, he was up three hours last night. He'd tried not to wake me up, but of course he did. That bed is pretty small for me not to notice him tossing and turning and shifting. I just wish he'd be able to get a little sleep." Rory poured herself some coffee and sat down.

"I wish you could get a little sleep. Maybe you could go out to the couch or…" Lorelai was cut off.

"Mom! I couldn't do that!" Rory protested. "I'm in this with him all the way. If he doesn't sleep then I don't sleep. In a couple of months, we're going to be husband and wife…"

Lorelai stopped her. "Rory, sweetie. Being husband and wife doesn't mean that you have to suffer through everything together. It just means that you have to support each other through everything. Jess would hate to see you looking this tired."

"I know," Rory sighed. "That's why he won't ever see it."

Lorelai nodded and changed the subject. "So, in a couple of months, we'll both be old married ladies. How do you feel about that? We haven't really talked since the whole engagement thing."

"I don't know. I never thought I'd want to get married, at least not this young, but now that it's hear and it's Jess, it's right I know it's right. It's like…I can't wait for everyday to start so I can see what it'll lead to…I know it sounds silly," Rory blushed.

"It doesn't sound silly, Honey. It doesn't sound silly at all," Lorelai comforted and admired her own ring.

"I still can't believe you picked New Years Eve as the wedding date. Grandma will never forgive you!" Rory giggled.

"And that was part of the selection process. You see, I figured if Grandma was wigging about the date she wouldn't go on and on about our choice of life mates," Lorelai sighed. "I'm surprised she kept quiet, Friday."

"Grandpa had her on a tight leash," Rory commented.

"Yeah, speaking of Grandpa, how did Jess take the "job offer," Lorelai asked.

"Other than the tie part it went pretty well. Jess always had a head for this stuff even when I was still at Chilton sometimes I'd bounce some econ stuff off him…He really is brilliant, Mom," Rory sighed.

"You don't have to tell me. He found the missing 0.37 in my checkbook last week," Lorelai said going to rinse out her cup. "Personal question?"

"Always," Rory replied.

"Have you and Jess…" Lorelai began.

"Um, no," Rory replied. "No. We tried once but he stopped. I'm not sure he feels comfortable yet. But I…I think once we're married it'll be okay."

"Me too. You now if Jess is half as good as Luke…"

"Okay," Rory interjected. "I do not need to hear about this. Also, we need to start house hunting next week. Get a place we can move into all on one floor. Lucy sent me some cabinet measurements and stuff from their place."

"Okay," Lorelai nodded. "I marked a few places, but you're welcome to stay at the inn until you find a place."

Rory finished her coffee, put her cup in the sink and kissed Lorelai's cheek. "Thanks, Mom. I've got to get ready for school."

In Hartford, Jess was settling into her new job. He was given a small desk in a small office and was in charge of returning phone calls, confirming meeting, and other menial tasks but there was promise of mobility after he got his degree. Overall, it wasn't too bad.

A young man a few years old than he was stepped by Jess' office. "Hey, I'm Martine, Martin Hensdale."

"Jess Mariano, nice to meet you," Jess greeted politely.

"So, I hear you were a special hire, picked out by Richard Gilmore himself," Marting commented. "And not even into an entry level position. Usually the new guys get cubicles in outer offices."

"Well, I guess that, Mr. Gilmore is the one who makes these decisions," Jess sighed. "Were you supposed to get this office or something?" Jess asked realizing he was in a world unlike what he knew.

"Well, it doesn't matter now so no use going on about it," Martin sighed. "Just wanted to meet the man who won Richard Gilmore's coveted favor."

"Well, if I see him around, I'll send him your way," Jess replied. His watch beeped ahd he moved his chair out from behind the desk. "Excuse me, I have a computer system orientation to get to."

Martin wasn't sure what to make of Jess Mariano until that moment when he saw the wheelchair. He deduced then maybe this young man was an affirmative action hire or an ADA hire. He was no real threat to Martin's advancement.

"Need help?" Martin offered.

"Nope, I'm good," Jess replied. "It was nice to meet you."

Jess joined Richard, Floyd Styles, and a few of the colleagues in the seminar room. Before the lesson started Richard wanted to introduce Jess to the other important members of the firm.

"Gentlemen, this is Jess Mariano, my granddaughter Rory's fiancé. Jess, this is our company's President Floyd Styles, and our new New Accounts Vice President Mitchell Anderson.

Jess shook the hands of both men. "Nice to meet you both."

"Is Rory still at Yale, Richard? It will be hard, getting married and going to the Ivy Leagues," Mitch commented.

"Rory has chosen to follow her heart, she's still in school, but she…"

Jess interjected, "She did really well at Yale, but with circumstances being as they are, we decided a simpler curriculum would benefit us."

"Admirable," Floyd commented. "You are a lucky man, if she loves you so much."

Jess beamed, "I think so. Now, let's get down to business."

The rest of the day went by quickly Jess learned the system and the codes in no time. The job was easy, tedious and did very little to stimulate him, but it was a living. He left there at two and went to physical therapy for ninety minutes, then headed to GED classes, which also bored him. Thankfully, it was only a six week program.

Jess didn't get home until 7:30 pm that night and it was very likely he wouldn't any night except Friday for six weeks. That thought upset him. He enjoyed dinners with Rory, Luke and Lorelai, but he'd made a deal, accepted terms in a bargain, now he had to carry them out.

The cab left Jess' off in front of the Gilmore home and the driver who expected to be tipped handsomely helped him get his chair set up. Jess said the driver and started for the house. He had his briefcase on his lap and was so tired he didn't notice the silver Volvo parked alongside Rory's Pruis.

As Jess' approached the door, he could hear voices raised voices coming from inside. "You don't get to make that decision!" Rory shouted. "It's my life, my decision."

"Rory, he's not good enough for you. Look at what you've all ready given up for him," the male voice argued.

"But I chose that! Jess didn't ask me to change schools or anything like that," Rory insisted. "It was my choice."

Jess opened the door when he heard Rory's voice break. He didn't care who Rory was arguing with, no one was allowed to upset her. "What's going on in her?" Jess declared as he pushed open the door. "I could hear you all the way around the back."

Rory quickly wiped her eyes and went to Jess' side. "Jess, this is my Father, Christopher Hayden. Dad, this is Jess," Rory said sitting carefully on Jess' lap.

Christopher looked at his daughter, sitting on the lap of the young man in a wheelchair. He didn't know it was that bad, he only thought she was marrying a screw up, he had no idea she was doing this to herself. "Oh my God!" Chris managed through the shock.

"Shocked?" Jess queried. "Guess you and Rory haven't been in touch for awhile."

"Oh, Rory. You…do you have any idea what you're doing?" Chris asked.

Rory slipped off Jess' lap and stood next to him, "Yes, I'm getting married to the man I love."

"He…but…" Chris was still sputtering.

Jess could see where this was going. Chris feared Rory was marrying him out of duty, binding herself him out of something other than love. Rory slid off Jess' lap and spoke again, seeing the same.

"Dad, I know what you're going to say. You're worried Jess can't take care of me, but he can because he's smart and he will succeed. You're worried that I'll get trapped into taking care of him, but I won't because..." Rory took Jess' hand. "Dad, we're going to be partners."

Jess felt Rory's hand shaking inside his. She was angry and upset at Christopher and he knew it went deeper than Chris' disapproval of their impending union.

"You're too young to know that," Chris countered. "You can't really understand what kind of long term commitment this is."

Rory was taken aback, "Wait a minute. You are going to tell me about long-term commitment? You who've never had a successful relationship with anyone until your thirties, by your own choice and even that relationship was the picture perfect example of dysfunction."

Chris discounted that remark and watched his daughter firmly holding her fiancé's hand. This was the boy Lorelai feared, the boy who broke Rory's wrist, the one who broke her heart. Chris knew the type Jess was like him, irresponsible and childish, not prepared for familial responsibility. He still wasn't at thirty-six. He used this to his advantage. "Exactly my point, Rory. This…this…" he referred to Jess. "He's exactly like me. He's irresponsible and self centered…He's exactly like me, Rory. He broke your heart once all ready; I know he'll do it again. I know it!"

Jess had heard about enough. Rory was starting to cry she was standing there with tears running down her cheeks, eyes fixed to the floor. It was time for him to intervene, "You know nothing," Jess said deathly quiet. "All I know is that I've made mistakes. I hurt Rory, I hurt Luke but I'm sorry for that and I never plan to repeat it. But you, you keep doing the same thing over and over again, you don't learn, you don't listen, and whenever you sweep into town, you leave nothing but destruction in your wake. Now, you've done enough damage for this visit, I would appreciate you leaving," Jess said and moved to open the door. "Now."

Chris knew arguing was pointless. Rory was upset and if he was still here when Lorelai got home and she saw Rory crying he'd have to pay dearly. So sadly and somewhat reluctantly, Christopher left.

Jess closed the door and touched Rory's hand, "Rory. Rory, Baby? Are you all right?" Jess asked gently.

"No!" she sobbed. "Why…why can he be happy for me? Why aren't…why can't Grandma be happy for me? I…everyone says we're too young…" she sniffed. "That we won't last. What if they're right? What if we are too young? What if you or I…" she stopped and cried harder.

"Rory, we love each other. We've stuck with it since May, only four months, but four very tough months. If we could survive that, we can survive anything," Jess tried to console her to reason with her.

"But…what if…what if it is just novelty us being together, like you said? What if we really can't make it?"

"We will," Jess insisted and studied her face. He saw fear in her eyes, panic, and seeing that he felt his own unique panic, especially at her next words. "I can't do this, Jess," she cried.

"Rory," he practically pleaded. "Don't do this. Please don't start doubting us."

"I'm sorry, Jess. I can't marry you now, I can't," she cried and slipped the ring off her finger before running out the door.

"Rory!" Jess called after her as she ran out into the night. "Rory, please don't do this! Rory!"

It was too late; Rory had all ready made it to her car and was pulling out of the driveway. Jess sat in his chair on the porch and watched her go until he could no longer see her car. Once the taillights were out of sight, Jess looked down at the ring in his hand. He stared at the small diamond until its shine became blurred by tears gathering in his eyes.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

Rory drove straight to the interstate and due north. She didn't know where she was going, or even why, all she knew was that she had to leave, had to get away and clear her head. As she clutched the steering wheel, the absence of her golden engagement ring made her heart ache. How could she do that to Jess? How could she have doubted their love, their commitment to each other? Easy, the same ways that she always let her father influence her life. She was way too vulnerable to Christopher's approval. Lorelai and Emily couldn't impact her that way, neither could Richard or Luke, but Christopher had a hold over her, and it was time that stopped.

Since she was a little girl, Rory had wanted her father in her life, really in her life, but that had never been. She realized it, she realized it when she asked her grandfather to give her away and dance a special dance at her wedding to Jess. But still, she let him sway her, let him influence her into hurting Jess so badly…she could only imagine the pain he must be in right now.

Tears started to blur Rory's vision and she pulled her car off the road into a Wendy's off of I11. Wiping the tears with her hand and opening her umbrella to keep out the rain, she went inside. She knew she had to go back, to apologize to Jess, to beg his forgiveness, but first, first she needed time to think and to figure out what she wanted to say.

Not long after Rory started to drive away, the skies opened and it began to rain. Jess just sat on the porch, staring at the ring in his hand. He couldn't believe Rory had broken things off with him. He loved her, he did everything he could to show her that he loved her, and still she left him sitting there alone, in the rain and the cold.

He watched the road waiting for her to come home. He thought she'd get part of the way to wherever she was going then turn around and come home, sit on his lap like she'd been doing lately and they would talk out her fears and doubts. As the clock ticked on though, it seemed a lot less likely that would happen.

About an hour later, Jess saw a pair of headlights pull into the driveway only when he looked at the car it wasn't Rory's tiny Pruis or even Luke's truck, which would be welcomed at this point. Instead it was a black Mercedes, and the person driving it was none other than Emily Gilmore.

She got out of the car and took a large garment bag from the back seat and started for the house. "Jess, what in the name of Heaven are you doing outside? It's pouring out!"

"Thanks for the weather report, Dave Price," Jess grumbled.

Emily rolled her eyes, "Pardon me for being concerned."

"I'm sorry," Jess apologized. "Would you like to come in?"

"Yes, is Rory home?" Emily asked.

"Uh, no, she's uh…" Jess started to move into the house when he reached for the door he dropped the ring that he'd been playing with. It made a small sound as it hit the porch. Emily leaned over and picked it up.

"Jess? Is this Rory's ring?" Emily asked and studied the boy's face. He looked like death.

Emily was not a fan of Jess and she was not a fan of this marriage, but he did make her granddaughter happy. Rory's engagement ring, pathetic though it was, should be on her finger, not on the porch.

"Yes," he answered. "We hit kind of a snag."

"A snag?" Emily echoed placing the ring on the desk near the door.

"Rory sort of…her Dad came by and she told him about the wedding. When I got back from class they were having this huge fight and I asked him to leave. When he left, Rory wigged…"Jess was cut off.

"Wigged?" Emily echoed.

"It's sort of a slang for panicked," Jess explained. "She started saying that maybe her Dad was right and that maybe you were right…"

"Maybe I was right…?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, she thinks were are too young and that we won't last," Jess spouted. "Which is ridiculous, because we made it through the worst three months…the rest is cake." He said as he shivered.

Emily noticed this, "Jess, you are soaked through the skin. Go and change. I'll make us some coffee. Where does Lorelai keep it?"

"In the second cabinet to the left of the sink, but I don't really feel like company," Jess told her reaching around to rub his sore back.

"I know that, but you don't have a choice…I came to see Rory, she's not here, so I'll wait for her," Emily said. "How do you take your coffee?"

"I don't drink coffee, but next to the filters is a box of Mint tea," Jess sighed. "I'll be a minute."

Rory ordered a triple burger meal with Biggie fries and sat down at a table in the back. She really wasn't hungry, but eating was the thing to do when one had to make an important decision, or do some homework, or pretty much anything in the Gilmore world. Thus, she took a big bite of her burger. Jess loved Wendy's burgers, he sat it was second only to a Luke burger. She sighed, "Jess."

The man who was sitting at the table next to her replied, "No, the name's Raul. But I'm guessing that this Jess is the one causing the problem."

"No," Rory replied. "This is anything but his fault. I've just got a problem."

"Well, they say the best way to solve a problem is to confide in a perfect stranger," Raul smiled. "Now, I made not be perfect, but I am a stranger."

Rory smiled, "Well, it's not really a problem; it's more of a family situation."

"Well, Cain and Abel started as a family situation."

Rory studied her burger, "It's kind of personal."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Raul replied, his Latin accent making the word sound more meaningful than it should have from a stranger mouth. That prompted Rory to speak.

"Well, you see, it all started back in May when my ex-boyfriend Jess came to my dorm at Yale to ask me to move away with him. Of course, I said no, I mean he'd left without a word before he may again right? So, he left and it was raining really hard and he was pretty upset. There was an accident right after he left, and it crippled him, he may never walk again and he'll never be in top shape again if he does. So, we got back together and cleared up our issues," Rory stopped for a breath.

"Well, I don't see a problem yet," Raul smiled; knowing from the fresh tears shining in her eyes there was more to come.

"Jess asked me to marry him the other day and I said I would. I love him so much and we're perfect for each other, but my Grandma says he's not good enough and we're too young and my Dad…my Dad who was never really in my life at all except to promise something and leave…he said…and I listened…I caved as I always did and I got scared and ran. I left the ring and I…"Rory broke down in sobs.

Raul waited until she composed herself recalling his family's opposition to his marriage, "Family is a very important thing, your mother and father are here to guide you, to help you find your way, but when one or both."

Rory protested, "My Mom was always terrific, so was Luke…"

"Luke?" Raul inquired.

"He's my Mom's fiancé now, and Jess' uncle and like a father to me, when Christopher, my real father was off in California doing God knows what…they always tried to teach me how to do the right thing, but still I always let my Dad run my life as soon as he shows up I just…" She trailed off and looked over at her wise burger companion, blue eyes meeting soulful brown ones. _"He has talking eyes," Rory thought. "Just like Jess."_

"Well, Rory," he paused. "That's all right, isn't it?" When she nodded he continued, "It seems to me you want your father's approval very much, but I think you cannot make decisions on unreliable sources. You know if you've made a good decision when once its made you feel great about it. A bad decision is usually the opposite, it usually is influenced and the results make us hurt deeply and question often. Consider that," he suggested.

Emily finished making the tea and Jess put on some dry clothes. He reentered the kitchen and spoke, "If you don't mind, Mrs. Gilmore I'm going to…" he paused. "Stretch out on the sofa, my…it's more comfortable."

"By all means," Emily replied. "I'll be ready in a minute."

Jess transferred himself to the sofa and put Lorelai's afghan over his legs. Emily brought his tea and sat across from him. "Rory says sometimes your legs cause you some pain."

"Some," Jess replied. "It's more my back than my legs and that last surgery helped but if I stay in one place too long…I was trying to get this laser surgery, but the bas…doctor turned me down," Jess explained.

"Mr. Gilmore told me about another doctor who might…"

"Yeah," Jess replied. "I have an appointment with him day after tomorrow. We'll see. I want more than anything to dance with Rory at our wedding, to stand under that chuppah when she comes down…but I suppose that's not in the cards."

"Why? You can't just quit because one doctor said no…Richard says…" Jess interrupted again her again, his voice tight with emotion.

"I know, Mrs. Gilmore. Richard said it to me too, if its fixable that's all your doctor requires as criteria," Jess sighed. "I mean because of what happened here with Rory's Dad."

Emily nodded quietly before Jess spoke again, "If you don't mind Mrs. Gilmore I'm not feeling well and I'd like to be alone."

"I understand," Emily said and rose from her seat. "Let Lorelai and Rory know I was by tonight."

"I will," he sighed. "Thank you for the tea."

Emily put on her coat on and opened the door. "Jess, for some reason unbeknownst to me, but very clear to her my granddaughter loves you. She'll be back, I'm certain of it."

Jess nodded but only said, "Good night."

Rory left the Wendy's Raul's last words still echoing in her head as she drove back to Stars Hollow. When she sat with Jess on the bridge, she had no doubts. Now that she left him, she was full of doubts. She considered this until the only doubt left was whether Jess would forgive her for her foolishness.

It was past one in the morning when Rory finally got home. Luke's truck was still gone, indicating the pair was still out more than likely spending the night in private somewhere romantic.

Rory went inside quietly. Jess would probably be in bed, Rory thought so she was surprised when she saw his chair near the sofa.

He was lying on his back, eyes closed in sleep, chest moving evenly as he breathes. Rory knelt beside him and smooth an unruly lock of hair off his forehead. Perched on his thumb she saw her ring and slowly removed it, placing it on the proper finger.

This caused Jess to stir and open his eyes. He licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak but Rory beat him to it, "I'm sorry."

"Ssh," Jess whispered and sat up. "Let's go to bed."

"I love you," Rory sighed, pulling him to her.

"I know," Jess whispered. "Let's go to bed. We've got a wedding to plan."

"Yeah?" Rory asked, eyes shining.

"Yeah," he replied and gave her a gentle kiss.

Two weeks later, Rory sat beside Jess' again, this time though he was in a hospital bed waiting for the nurses to come and take him for the surgery that may give Jess at least partial use of his legs back. Both were understandably nervous, but both understood this was his last chance.

Luke and Lorelai were all ready in the surgical waiting room after wishing Jess luck. Rory waited with him now quietly holding Jess' hand, until the nurses came to prep him.

"Are you nervous?" she asked, using her thumb to massage the tender skin on his knuckles.

"A little bit. I really want this to work, Rory. I really want to dance our first dance and be a real…"

Rory silenced him with her lips. Jess had said so many times in the last two weeks that he wanted to be a "real husband" to her. Rory knew what her meant and all ready told him it would work out. "Ssh. I told you none of that matters to me. I love you, I want to be your wife. No conditions." She ran her hand down her smooth cheek. He pressed his face into it and repeated, "No conditions."

A/N: So far the voting on the wedding song shows that Collide is winning. It is in the running with Ring of Fire and Why Can't I? based on reviews and offlist e-mails. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

"All right," Jess' physical therapist, a nice middle aged man named Anthony, said as he locked Jess' braces into place. "Let's give this a try. Hold onto the rails and push yourself up. Don't worry about falling, this is like air." He pointed to the padding on the floor.

It had been about a since the surgery successfully repaired the damage to Jess' back. He with time would be able to walk again albeit with some difficulty. His doctors said it was likely he'd never be out of the wheelchair all together, but with proper therapy he would be able to stand and walk short distances with the aid of crutches and in time a cane.

Jess pulled on the leather workout gloves Rory had brought him and held onto the rails. "Why do I have a feeling this will be hard?"

"Not as hard as you think. The braces will lock your ankles. Lock your elbows and stand up," Tony encouraged.

Jess locked his elbows and concentrated on standing up. He felt the blood rush through his legs and the pins and needles feeling he was accustomed to go stronger.

"Damn it, this hurts," Jess grumbled. "When do I take a step?"

"Right now," Tony replied. "Focus and put your right foot forward, then bring your left one up next to it."

Jess put all of his concentration into that movement that one step. Completing that step was the starting point in the next part of his life. He could see it now, he was standing in the lobby of the inn under the chuppah waiting for Rory as she walked down the aisle on her grandfather's arm. He could see himself holding her close as they swayed to their song when the finally picked one. He could envision so many things that he couldn't see before.

"Jess," Tony' voice broke into his thoughts. "Come on this, is the first step of the rest of your life. Take a breath and follow through."

Jess looked down at his thin legs encases to the knees in metal. Pressing down with his arms for balance he focused and moved his right foot forward barely lifting it off of the mat. With equal effort he brought his left foot up next to it. With a proud smile on his face, he looked at his therapy.

"Good Jess!" he encouraged. "Now do it again, keep doing it until you get the end of the bars. Take it slow."

While Jess worked in therapy, Rory and Lorelai shopped for Lorelai's wedding dress. Rory tried Emily's dress on and decided that with some alterations, the dress would be perfect for her to get married in.

"So," Lorelai said as they exited a third wedding dress store. "Did you and Jess pick a song?"

"Nope, we're still in heavy debate. He's still clinging to that Johnny Cash song and I'm still pulling for Liz Phair. Lane suggested on by Howie Day, but Jess has been in the hospital so we haven't listened to it yet," Rory told her.

"Do you think you're being a little unrealistic choosing a first dance song?' Lorelai ventured.

"No," Rory replied. "The surgery worked, Jess has more feeling in his legs. We need to keep positive."

"I just don't want either of you to be disappointed," Lorelai sighed and put her arm around Rory. "Or Luke. He's so hopeful about this. Very un-Luke like."

"It's not really like Jess either," Rory sighed. "But its all he has isn't it?"

"I suppose so," Lorelai agreed. "Did you pick on of those invitation quotes. We need to send them out by November 15th and the printer said it would take a few weeks."

"We narrowed it down to two," Rory said. "First one," she pulled out a petite steno book from her bag. "The first one is, '_To love somebody deeply gives you strength, to be love by someone gives you courage.' _And number two, this is Jess' favorite, '_Love conquers all things, let us too surrender to love._'''

"That first one was Luke's first choice. I'll fill him in on your input and then we'll have that done."

Lorelai and Rory were about to turn into another dress shop when Rory's cell phone rang. It was Jess' hospital room, she could tell because of the _I Dream of Jeannie_ ringer she'd set for him.

"Hey, Jess," Rory answered. "Are you all right? You sound out of breath."

"I am," Jess panted, as he sat in his wheelchair across the room from where he'd begun. "I just wanted to tell you, I did it Babe. I made it ten steps."

Rory didn't respond to Jess directly. Instead, she grabbed her mother arm and gleefully proclaimed, "Ten steps Mom. Ten steps."

Lorelai and Rory made two fools of themselves dancing around in the middle of the street. Jess for his part was sitting with his therapist smiling, listening to his fiancée and her, their "mom" rejoicing in his triumph. He hug up, he knew in their joy they would forget he was on the line until later, after a couple of double espressos. He leaned back in this chair and took a deep breath, before meeting Tony's eyes and saying with new determination, "Again."


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

Chapter 28

One Month Later

November 13, 2004

"To love somebody deeply give you strength, to be loved by someone give you courage. Mr. and Mrs. Richard Gilmore request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter, Lorelai Victoria to Lucas Danes and of their granddaughter Lorelai Leigh to Jess Mariano on Friday, the 31st day of December 2004 at the Dragonfly Inn, Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Ceremony 6:30pm, reception and New Years celebration to follow," Rory read to Jess as they sat at a table in the diner one Saturday afternoon. "That's it, it's done."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Jess said rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. "Having second thoughts?" he asked.

Rory raised his hand to her lips, "No, I'm just wondering about whether or not I should send this one." She held an invitation out for him to see. Mr. Christopher Hayden was the addressee.

"Rory, he's your father," Jess said softly. "You should have him at your wedding. At least, invite him. If he doesn't want to come, he doesn't have to come."

Rory shifted through the pile of envelops in front of her. "I'm glad you feel that way, Jess, because if I send that," she referred to envelope addressed to Christopher. "I would like you to send these."

Jess took the two envelopes and read the addresses on the white linen paper. "Mr. and Mrs. Gary Johnson and Mr. James Mariano and guest," he read. "Rory…"

"Jess, they're your parents, they should see you get married," Rory used his logic to argue the point with him.

"Rory, my parents never cares about what I did or what happened to me. My mother visited me once since the accident, I never heard from Jimmy at all," Jess ranted.

"Okay, you're right," Rory capitulated. "But when we get married we're going to start a new life. You could try and start one with your parents too."

Jess was quite for a minute. He wanted to invite his Mom and Dad at his wedding, just like he wanted his old friends from New York there. He just wasn't sure if he could take the hurt. If Rory was going to risk it, then he could risk it. "All right, we'll mail them out but I bet they won't come."

"Twenty bucks?" Rory proposed. "That or dinner for two prepared by the loser."

"Since my bet is safer than yours and I've seen your culinary skills, I'll take the 20 bucks," Jess teased.

Lorelai's arrival at the diner was signaled by the ringing of the bells over the diner's door. In her hands she was carrying two small packages, "Luke!" she called. "Luke come out here."

Rory and Jess turned around, "What's that?" Jess asked.

"I'll tell you in a minute. As soon as Luke," she said it louder so he could hear her in the back. "Gets out here."

Luke came into the dining area from the kitchen wiping his hands on his towel. "What? I'm busy back here."

"I know," Lorelai said playfully. "But everything else can wait because here in my hands I hold two very special packages, once in a lifetime packages. These are our first wedding presents," she announced handing one envelope to Rory. "They're from the grandparents."

Rory opened up the envelope with Jess while Lorelai opened hers. Inside Rory and Jess' envelope was a photograph of 127 Plum Street. Underneath, it was written in Emily's handwriting, "Congratulations on your wedding and your new home. Grandma and Grandpa."

"Oh my God!" Jess gasped. "They did not buy us a house."

"Oh they did," Lorelai confirmed. "Luke and I thought it would be a good idea. Once you're married you'll need a place of your own, and with your school, Rory and Jess' job and therapy you don't have the time to go on a fabulous European capitol's cruise," Lorelai held out her own envelope with two tickets and itineraries.

"Rory, this place…it has handicap accessible doorways, a shower chair…what did they do, remodel it?" Jess asked.

"I have no idea," Rory replied. "Let's go and take a look at it. And while we're at it, we can mail the invitations."

The home on Plum Street was gorgeous. It was white with a full porch including a ramp for Jess, and a two car garage. The inside was tastefully yet sparsely furnished, only the essentials had been provide. Emily and Richard felt that to fully furnish the house would be overstepping their boundaries, anyway, if Rory and Jess had to live there, they had to be the people to choose the overall décor of the house. This ban on meddling was put in place by Richard and Lorelai, who felt that providing a house and furniture for the house might bruise Jess' pride.

"Wow!" Jess sighed. "Just, wow! This is too much."

"I don't think so," Rory smiled. "I think it's just enough. It's their way of saying they accept our choice." She caressed his shoulder and sat on his lap, "I'm going to miss this when you don't need the chair anymore. It's a ready made seat."

He placed a kiss on her forehead, "Tony says I'll probably never be out of the chair completely. We'll always have to keep it in the trunk of the car."

"I know, but maybe with two it won't be as necessary," Rory said with hope.

"I hope so, too, Baby," Jess replied. "Let's go home now. I have therapy in an hour, and you have to call your grandparents. This is one great gift."

It was the first of many great gifts as it turned out for as the days and weeks passed and the wedding date drew closer Rory and Jess along with Luke and Lorelai received some very lovely gifts, including a silver English tea set and a TV/VCR/DVD combo. They also received some very odd gifts, including two couples's subscriptions in the Jelly of the Month club.

By the end of the Thanksgiving holidays, the wedding plans were in full swing, and responded were pouring in. So far, every person invited had responded yes, except Rory's paternal grandparents.

"Mail call," Luke called as he came into the house one Friday in mid December. "We've got magazine, magazine, magazine, bill, bill, flyer, and about twenty response cards. How many people did you invite?" he asked Lorelai and Rory, who were flipping through the latest issue of Brides.

"I lost count at one hundred twenty," Lorelai replied.

"I didn't know that Jess invited Jimmy to the wedding," Luke sighed. "It could be a disaster if he comes."

"I would think more so if he doesn't," Rory replied. "I talked him into it, I told him he should try and make a new start with his parents."

"Are you going to open it?" Lorelai asked.

"You think I should?" Rory looked at Luke instead of Lorelai, her mother was too nosy to be objective.

"Yeah," Luke replied. "You never waited to open the others. You shouldn't change now."

Rory agreed with that and took a stack of responses, Lorelai took the remaining stack and together they opened them leaving Jimmy Mariano's for last. Rory opened it holding her heart in her mouth. She looked at the writing, a bold scrawl like Jess.

_James Mariano and Sasha Murdock accept. _

Under the official response were the words:

_Jess,_

_Please call me._

_Dad_

"So..." Lorelai waited for the answer.

"He's coming," Rory let out a sigh of relief.

"Who's coming?" Jess asked as he maneuvered his way into the house after a full day. "Is it from your Dad?"

"No, yours," Rory replied and handed him the note.

Jess looked up confused. He was sure that Jimmy wouldn't come. Now that he was coming he wasn't sure he wanted him there.

Rory could read Jess' face. He was upset. "Jess…"

"I don't…I don't want him here," Jess told her. "I only agreed to invite him because I was sure he wouldn't come. He…he didn't even call me after…he didn't even send a letter or flowers…"

Luke was next to Lorelai and he stared at his hands. That was his fault. He tried to notify Liz with no success but never tried to notify Jimmy. Now it was time to fess up.

"Jess, he didn't know," Luke said so quietly it was nearly a whisper. "I never called him after…"

"Why? You knew I had a relationship with him, however weird it happened to be, it still existed. Why didn't you call him?" Jess asked.

"Because…" Luke wasn't really sure why. "I just didn't think of it."

"That's bull," Jess argued. "You just wanted to be in control, to take all the responsibility and all the credit for yourself. Did you even think about how I would feel, believing that even after I knew my father and had a relationship with him, he still wanted nothing to do with me?" Jess' eyes were shining with emotion.

"No, I didn't. I just…I…" Luke didn't know what to say. "I didn't think. I'm sorry."

"Sorry," Jess scoffed. "I was sorry about a lot of the things I did, all the times I messed up, but that never did any good," Jess snapped.

"Jess," Rory said, gently touching his cheek. It felt damp. He shrugged her touch away and turned his chair around and opened the door.

"Where are you going?" Luke asked.

"Out!" Jess replied and slammed the door.

Luke looked pained and Lorelai went to comfort him. Like Jess he shrugged her touch away and started for the back door.

"Where are you going?" Lorelai asked her voice cracking.

"Out," Luke replied huskily and left mother and daughter standing staring at two closed doors.


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

Chapter 29

Luke knew where Jess would go so once he left the house he went directly to the bridge. Sure enough Jess was there, sitting, staring at the frozen pond.

"I knew I'd find you here," Luke commented.

"What gave you that clue?" Jess asked.

"Because this is where you come when you're upset," Luke sighed. "Its also where I used to come and your mother, and your grandfather."

"You should have called him Luke," Jess sighed. "He did try hard while I was in LA. I just…I missed the east coast."

"I should have called him, but Jess, I was so scared we were losing you and once that fear was over and we had a prognosis…I wasn't thinking about anything other than what to do next…I never even thought about calling Jimmy," Luke confessed. "And even if I did, I wasn't sure he would come. I only wanted to protect you."

Jess listened to his uncle's words. He never told Luke about what happened between he and Jimmy so how would Luke know that Jimmy probably would have com. "Luke, you were there for me when no one else was, and I know you would never do something like this on purpose, at least not anymore. I just overreacted because of the last time," Jess sighed, referring to the time Jimmy came to Stars Hollow and Luke kept it quiet.

"Yes," Luke agreed coming up behind Jess' chair. "You did. It unfortunately runs in the family. So let's forget about it, go home and eat some supper before you call you father."

Jess smiled and nodded, "You think the girls are worried or pissed off?" Jess asked.

"Probably a little bit of both," Luke laughed. "Let's go."

A week later, Rory and Jess stood at the arrivals deck of Hartford Airport. Jess was using his crutches instead of his chair as he couldn't get up the nerve to tell Jimmy over the telephone about the accident. He felt the crutches would soften the blow. The plane was delayed though and Jess was getting tired. Rory was hovering nervously at his side.

"Remind me again who's idea this was," Jess sighed as he moved from one end of the gate to the other.

"If you want your wheelchair I can…"

"No, not the crutched idea. The inviting Jimmy and Sasha for Christmas. The attempting to have a holiday with both our fathers and their significant others, along with your grandparents, Luke and Lorelai," Jess laughed.

"Oh, that idea," Rory giggled. "That would be yours."

"Why did you allow me to do that?" Jess asked.

"Because one, you don't need my permission and two, I thought it would be a good idea too," Rory replied.

Jess sighed and shifted, "Are you sure you don't want your chair?"

"I'm good. Don't worry okay?" Jess comforted. "I bet that's their plane," he said as a large plane landed near the window.

About ten minutes later, Jess saw Jimmy and Sasha coming toward him. "That's them," he indicated.

"You look like y our father," Rory observed. "Dark and handsome."

"Thanks, I hope on son looks like me," Jess smirked.

"Why?" Rory asked with mock offense.

"Because I want our daughter to look like you," Jess says with a kiss on her brow.

"Hey, Jess!" Jimmy called as he and Sasha approached.

"Dad," Jess acknowledged. "Sasha, how are you? This is my fiancée, Rory. Rory, my father Jimmy and his girlfriend, Sasha. Where's Lily?" He said all of this in one breath causing Rory and Sasha to giggle.

"We're fine, Jess, but we should be asking you that? What's with the crutches? It's nice to meet you, Rory, and Lily is back in California with her aunt Mazie," Jimmy answered all of Jess' questions in one breath as well. Family trait.

"Um, the crutches are a long story," Jess replied. "Let's get your bags together and I'll explain it all back in Stars Hollow."

Jimmy and Sasha headed for the baggage claim with Rory and Jess coming up behind them. "Just take it easy," Rory coached. "Go slow and remember to lock your elbows."

"I got it, Rory," Jess assured her. "Don't baby me."

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Its okay," Jess replied. "I'm still new at this whole walking thing."

By the time, Jimmy and Sasha collected their bags and they headed to the car. Jimmy's curiosity was peaked. He studied his son's steps, very slow, very calculated. The way Rory hovered when the ground was uneven. Something was wrong here, very wrong, but Jess said he would discuss it later.

Sasha sensed Jimmy wanted to push for information so as they drove back to Stars Hollow she kept the conversation focused on the wedding.

"New Years Eve is a very interesting choice of date," Rory she commented.

"Yeah, well usually Stars Hollow has this huge New Years bash that my Mom and Sookie organize, and since it seemed that most of our guest list would be people that usually go to the party…That and I seriously think Mom and Luke were trying to cut down on the amount of my grandparents friends that attend," Rory explained.

"And where is the wedding?" Sasha asked.

"At my Mom's inn," Rory said. "We're getting married under the chuppah Luke made for her when she was engaged before, first Mom and Luke, then Jess and I. The reception will be in the banquet room."

"I think this is so exciting," Sasha gushed. "When Jess arrived in California a year and a half ago he talked about you all the time."

"Sasha…" Jess groaned. "I felt stupid enough then."

"You did miss me," Rory giggled. "I knew it."

"So, how did you do it, Jess? How did you ask Rory? Was it planned out?" Sasha plugged for details.

"Not really. I wanted to plan it out but it wasn't in the cards. I did get to do it on our bridge though, so all's well that ends well," Jess replied, reaching over to gently caress Rory's thigh.

"Did you get a dress?" Jimmy asked, jumping onto the wedding quiz bandwagon.

"Of course she did, Jimmy," Sasha laughed. "They're getting married in eight days."

"Actually, I'm going to wear my grandmother's dress," Rory told him. "My mom bought a great dress though, so all we have to do now is convince Luke and Jess to wears tuxedoes instead of suits."

"Never happen," Jimmy commented. "Luke is a Danes and Jess is too much of a Danes to ever wear a tux. On the outside, all Mariano, on the inside, luckily for you Rory, all Danes."

Jess contemplated that comment and knew there was some truth in it. Jimmy had settled about age forty, but Luke was settled for what seemed like forever. Jess saw similarities between himself and both of these men. He had wanted to roam, to explore, to find out who he was and he had in the year he spend roaming from California to New York, then finally back to Stars Hollow. Once he had Rory back in his arms though, he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with this beautiful, intelligent woman, who was in truth the other half of his soul. This is where he was grateful for his father's impulsiveness, and his uncle's too, because it was sad to think about how much time Luke and Lorelai wasted.

The feel of the car pulling to a halt outside the diner brought Jess out of his musings. Rory got out of the car working her way around to Jess' side of the car. Jess opened the car door and pulled his crutches out. Getting up and down stairs and curbs took a lot of strength and concentration, but he was getting better at it all the time.

"This place is gorgeous," Sasha smiled looking around at the quaint little town. "Where are we going to stay?"

"At the Dragonfly," Rory replied. "This is Luke's diner, but then…"

"What's with the William's Hardware sign?" she asked.

"Oh, that's just Luke," Rory replied. "It's his way of memorializing his Dad."

"That's sweet," she replied looking at Jimmy whose eyes were fixed on his son and then his son's girlfriend as Rory crossed over to Jess and assisted him in rising from the car seat.

Jimmy watched as Rory put Jess' crutches aside and held her arms out for him to hold onto. Then he watched as, with practiced precision, she held him around the waist until he was once again, standing on his own, with the aid of the crutches. Jimmy waited until Jess was standing on the sidewalk before he in a classic example of Mariano temper moved to stand near the young couple, "Okay," he demanded. "I want to know what's going on here and I want to know now."

A/N: Sorry this update took soooooo long, but I've had some computer problems and a lot of papers for school. It won't be so long until the next one. There are only about five chapters left before the end. I am planning a sequel, what do you think? Any interest?


	30. Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

Once Jess finished relaying his story to his father and Sasha he was met with silence. He'd expected anger, upset, questions, but not this heavy silence. Finally Sasha broke the ice.

"But you're okay now, right?" she asked.

"I've got a long way to go, but I'm on a solid road to recovery," Jess replied.

"Complete recovery?" Jimmy asked.

"That's still up in the air. They say that stairs will always be a challenge, but as long as I can get around without a wheelchair all the time, I'll be happy," Jess sighed.

"But what I don't understand is why…why didn't you…?" Jimmy started.

"Why? At the beginning things were touch and go and then well, the longer we waited, the longer I waited, the harder it got until…Well, here we are."

That was all the explanation it took and soon the foursome were joined by Luke and Lorelai and conversation turned from the darker subjects of the past to those of the more promising future.

Before anyone realized it was Christmas Eve and there was only one week left to the wedding with no word from Liz and TJ.

Christmas Eve was spent quietly and intimately at home, watching holiday movies, eating a ham dinner prepared by the men of the residence, Luke, Jess, and Jimmy, and the exchanging of presents between couples. The rest of the presents would be held until morning.

It was before dawn on Christmas morning when Lorelai awoke next to Luke in the bed they shared. She was nervous about giving him his second Christmas gift, not sure how he'd like it. Also, she was fretting over the Gilmore-Danes-Mariano family Christmas that was coming up in eight short hours.

Lorelai studied Luke as he slept next to her, and thought how lucky they were. They were both healthy now, both in love, and their "children" were happy. Life was good.

Luke woke up under Lorelai's delicate scrutiny and offered her a groggy smile. "Merry Christmas, Beautiful."

"Merry Christmas," Lorelai replied.

"You okay? It's really early," Luke said looking at the clock.

"I know. I'm just thinking about how lucky we are, how much we have to celebrate this year. Our wedding, Rory and Jess' wedding, your recovery, Jess' recovery," Lorelai listed. "Now all we have to do is make it through Christmas dinner with my parents and Christopher."

Luke reached up and caressed her arm gently, "We'll do all right. It's only for a short while and then we can go back to our one little world."

Lorelai leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Luke's lips. This was the moment she'd been waiting for, a quiet, mundane yet romantic moment to tell him the most important news she'd had in her life to date, well, besides Rory of course. Lorelai reached over and took Luke's hand in both of hers. "You remember last night I told you that I had another present for you incase you didn't like the ID bracelet?" she inquired.

"Lorelai, I loved that," he sighed. "I told you three times."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I don't want to give you your other gift too," Lorelai smiled.

"Okay, but you still have a bit of a wait until the rest of the house wakes up," Luke reminded her. "Why don't you settle down and get some more sleep."

"Luke, I want to give you this gift, but until the wedding is over I don't want to tell anyone else. Not even Rory and Jess, you have to promise me," Lorelai said seriously.

"Lorelai…I'm…"Luke began, but stopped when Lorelai took the hand she held and pressed it to her stomach. She didn't need to say anything to him, that gesture was enough.

"You're…we're...Lorelai, are you trying to tell me you're pregnant?" Luke asked, not sure how to react to her answer.

She smiled, tears coming to her eyes and nodded her head, "es. I'm going to have your baby. In July, by my estimation."

Luke thought about that for a minute then, "How long have you known?"

"Since about a week ago. I confirmed it at the doctor's on Friday. That's why I didn't have twelve cups of coffee last night," she confessed. "Not because I wanted to humor you."

"Lorelai, I don't know what to say," Luke said. "I'm speechless."

"Are you happy? I know we never really talked about family, but…"

That was all she got to say before Luke was pulling her down on top of him kissing her passionately. "I love you, Lorelai Gilmore. This is the best Christmas present you could ever give me."

"So you're happy?" she asked to confirm.

"I'm…I don't understand why you want to keep it a secret," he said.

"Because I want the wedding to be what it is and the baby announcement to be something on its own. I don't want to over shadow one event with the other," Lorelai explained. "But in case I start having morning sickness or get all hormonal, I want you to understand what's going on so you don't worry."

"I'll always worry," Luke countered.

"Well, then, so you don't worry too much," she sighed and leaned her head against his naked chest closing her eyes and going back to sleep.

"Lorelai, I'm awake now. How about an early breakfast?" Luke asked and was met with silence. "Lorelai?"

He looked down and saw she was sleeping soundly against his chest. "Great," he thought. "Great."

Luke and Lorelai were the first ones downstairs that morning, even with Lorelai's brief nap. They were joined by Jimmy and Sasha shortly after and finally Rory and Jess. They exchanged the rest of the presents that had been bought and prepared themselves for the arrival of Christopher and Sherry, as well as Emily and Richard.

By three pm on Christmas day the party was in full swing and so far no one had argued, griped or thrown a punch. Lorelai saw Jess at the eggnog bowl and came up next to him, "So far so good. No one has been laid out, cursed out, or pissed off," she said to him. "How are you doing?"

"Not bad," he answered. "I don't like that Rory keeps sneezing. I hope she's not going to get sick before the wedding."

"So do I," Lorelai sighed. "Well we'll have to make sure she drinks plenty of orange juice and rests this next week."

"Lorelai," Emily called. "This ham is amazing. Did Sookie do it?"

"No, Mom," Lorelai replied. "Luke, Jess and Jess' Dad did."

"It is wonderful. Luke, you really should think about expanding the diner," Richard said to him. "I'll back you. You can become a chain. A place like that Denny's only with better food and more class."

"I'll think about it, Richard," Luke replied, making sure that nothing upset Lorelai. He didn't want the day ruined. "Maybe I'll expand the Stars Hollow diner first."

That answer seemed to satisfy Richard and the conversations split off again. There was little family unity, but no family friction. That was all they could hope for with this crew.

Thankfully, though, by a Christmas miracle they got through the mixer unscathed and now the two engaged couples could focus on the most important day of their lives, which was just around the corner.

A/N: I apologize for the wait and the short length of this chapter. But never fear, the wedding his here. I will update sooner than I did this time, I promise. Next chapter we'll see the pre-wedding activity. Chapter 32 will contain the ceremony, and Chapter 33 will be the reception. Thanks for reading.


	31. Chapter Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One

Disclaimer: See chapter one

The night before the wedding Lorelai and Rory stayed at the Gilmore house in Hartford, while Jess, Luke, Jimmy and Sasha, Luke's best man, David, and Jess' best man John stayed at the Gilmore house in Stars Hollow.

The Dragonfly Inn was a flurry of activity as both Inn employees and extras supplied by Emily set up the chuppah, the tables, and made sure every last detail was perfect. Even Kirk had an assignment, to go to the airport and pick up Lucy Kinkirk so that she could marry Rory and Jess alongside Reverend Skinner who would be marrying Luke and Lorelai. The entire wedding was running like a Swiss clock.

At six o'clock, Emily, Richard, Lorelai, and Rory arrived at the Dragonfly Inn to get dressed for the ceremony. Luke, Jess, David, and John would dress at Lorelai's and come over in Luke's truck about seven o'clock.

Lorelai and Rory were left alone a few minutes while Emily went to check the arrangements in the dining room. As Lorelai helped Rory pulled her hair up into a twist she asked, "So are you really ready to become Mrs. Jess Mariano?"

"Yeah, I am," Rory replied. "You know all my life I wanted to be a foreign affairs reporter, but now being Mrs. Mariano is going to be enough."

"I don't want you to give up your dreams, Rory," Lorelai said. "You worked too hard at Chilton to not have a career."

"I know," Rory said. "I'm just not going to go traveling around the globe to do it. I'm still going to be a reporter though."

"I'm glad I just want us all to be happy and healthy," Lorelai told her. "And whatever doubts I had about Jess, I know he loves you. These last seven months changed him. He's going to be a great husband."

"So is Luke," Rory replied rising to switch places with Lorelai. "Did I ever tell you that I've wanted Luke to be my Dad since I was ten?" Rory asked.

"No, you didn't," Lorelai replied. "You knew we were right long before I did, didn't you?"

"I knew that he loved you and me," she replied. "Part of me wished that you did this earlier, but anther part is glad you didn't because I don't know if I'd have appreciated him then, because I was o enamored with Dad. I couldn't see Luke in that role, you know."

"I know," Lorelai replied. "And I liked Dean so much I never gave Jess a chance."

"In some ways I'm so thankful for the accident," Rory sighed. "It brought us together. All of us."

Lorelai hugged Rory," Yeah, I guess it did."

The door opened then to reveal Emily with Lane, Sookie, and Sasha behind her.

"Your hair looks beautiful," Sookie gushed giving Rory a hug. "You need help with Lorelai's hair?"

"Nah," Rory shook her head. "Its nearly done."

Emily studied her daughter and granddaughter. They were still dressed in jeans and button down shirts but all ready they were beautiful. She very seriously doubted the matched they had chosen but she couldn't deny she was happy they were happy.

"How's everything going downstairs, Mom?" Lorelai asked.

"Going along wonderfully, Lorelai. You have a very good staff here. Very capable," Emily complemented eyes shining.

Lorelai read her mother's tone and saw clearly the meaning behind those words, so with a warm smile she said, "Thank you, Mom."

Over at Lorelai and Rory's house the men were getting ready. Tuxedos were laid out, boutonnieres assigned, and the placement of wedding rings checked and triple checked.

Luke was seated on the couch, Jess next to him. Jess was relatively calm, but Luke's palms were sweating. He nervously wiped them on his jeans.

"What are you so nervous about? Jess asked. "You've known them nine years."

"Yeah, that's why I'm nervous," Luke laughed. "No, I just want everything to work out. And I'm very sorry Liz isn't here."

"I'm not," Jess replied. "And I'm not just saying that. I've got Jimmy here and Sasha. John's here. I haven't seen him in forever, and of course there's you."

Luke smiled. "It really is a whole knew beginning isn't it? And soon our small group will grow."

"You talking about Kevin and Dr. Camden getting here?" Jess asked.

"Um, I meant on a larger scale, Jess," Luke smiled. Since Lorelai told him she was pregnancy it had been hard for him to keep it quiet, but he'd promised.

"You mean kids?" Jess suggested. "Rory and I never talked about kids."

"You shouldn't even consider it until you both graduate college," Luke advised.

"I don't know what she plans to do about prevention. I should have considered that as this is our wedding night," Jess sighed.

"Here," Jimmy had been in the kitchen and overheard the discussion. "There's three of them. They kept Sasha safe. 95 effective."

Jess took the contraception and secured them inside his wallet. "Thanks. They won't…they won't make it hurt will they? I mean Rory told me she's not experienced."

Jimmy sympathized, his son really had changed. "They's lubricated, but go slow," he advised.

"Thanks," Jess said softly. "Both of you, thank you. Uncle Luke, I really don't know what to say for all you've done since the accident."

"You take care of your wife and yourself," Luke advised as David got out of the shower. "It' s about time you guys got dressed isn't it?" David suggested. "It's 6:30."

The grooms shared a sudden look of panic, then Luke sighed. "Ninety minutes to lift off. We best get a move on."

**COMING UP NEXT: THE WEDDING CEREMONY.**


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

A/N: After a long vacation I am going to come back to writing Love Equals Sacrifice. I went through a long period of time when I felt very little urge to write for Gimore Girls, but now more than ever I realize that if I want to have the GG I want, I have to make it myself along with the other fanfic writers. I do have to let my readers for JAG and Gilmore Girls know that I lost the love of my life March 14 and I am still recovering from that if one can so I will not promise when updates might be up, just that they will be. Thanks for your loyalty.

The Dragonfly Inn was beautifully decorated by Emily's expert hand. The soft, white snow gave a splendid backdrop to the sprays of flowers that decorated the walls of the Inn. The steps were lined with silver bows, similar to those on the chairs which were midnight blue.

Lucy Kinkirk, along with her husband Kevin and her brother and sister-in-law were present for the ceremony that each of them felt in a small way they were responsible for helping come about. Lucy was even going to co officiate the ceremony with Reverend Skinner.

At precisely eight o'clock, Lucy and Reverend Skinner were joined by the two nervous grooms under the wedding canopy. The prelude music the couple had agreed on, the very appropriate and traditional Canon in D began to play as Kirk, who had begged for some role in the wedding began to walk Emily down the aisle. To his credit, and everyone's relief, he did the job well.

Following the mother/grandmother of the brides, came Sookie and Lane, each dressed in dark blue dresses with long a-line skirts, their hair swept back into braided twists and held in place with flowers, just as Lorelai and Rory's had been

Finally, Lorelai and Rory appeared in the door way one on either side of Richard, dressed impeccably in his tuxedo. Lorelai had her hair swept up with her flowers secured in the knot with brown curls surrounding it. Her tiara completed the picture and the pearls and diamond chips throughout set off the icicle necklace around her neck. Her gown was trimmed with soft fur and velvet, the skirt fuller than the top.

Rory wore Emily's gown, altered of course to the differences in their shape, her hair was fixed in a style to mimic her mother's.

The strains of the wedding march began to play and with it Lorelai, Rory and Richard began their descent. Luke and Jess stood awestruck as these women who were soon to be their wives moved forward.

When Lorelai and Rory reached their mates, Richard kissed each of their cheeks and stayed between them awaiting his cue, a moment he would both anticipated and dreaded.

Reverend Skinner and the new Reverend Kinkirk stepped forward each dressed in their ceremonial gowns. Reverend Skinner began the ceremony.

"We are gathered here today in the sight of God and angels, and the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to the words which shall unite Lucas Danes and Lorelai Victoria Gilmore and Jess Mariano and Lorelai Leigh Gilmore in holy matrimony," Reverend Skinner decided to add a bit of his own sentiment to the very traditional start. "The former of which I never thought I would live to see."

"And the latter of which," Lucy added. "I knew I would definitely see." She picked up the traditional words from there. "Marriage is a most honorable estate, created and Instituted by God, signifying unto us the mystical union, which also exists between Christ and the Church; so too may this marriage be adorned by true and abiding love." Lucy paused, this part always made her nervous, especially given her brother's history, but it had to be done. "Should there be anyone who has cause why these couples should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace."

Jess' eyes held Rory's while Luke's held Lorelai's. No one feared any interference; they simply anticipated the part that came next.

"Who is it that brings this woman to this man?" Reverend Skinner asked in reference to Lorelai and Luke.

"Her mother and I do," Richard replied and placed Lorelai's hand in Luke's.

"And who is it that brings this woman to this man?" Lucy asked, this time meaning Rory and Jess.

"Her grandfather on behalf of her family," Richard replied and placed Rory's hand in Jess' before stepping back to join Emily. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Both our babies," he whispered with a tear in his eye.

Emily choked up as well, squeezed back and turned her attention back to Reverend Skinner. "Lucas and Lorelai Victoria and Jess and Lorelai Leigh, life is given to each of us as individuals, and yet we must learn to live together. Love is given to us by our family and friends. We learn to love by being loved. Learning to love and living together is one of life's greatest challenges and is the shared goal of a married life.

"But a husband and wife should not confuse love of worldly measures for even if worldly success is found; only love will maintain a marriage. Mankind did not create love; love is created by God. The measure of true love is a love both freely given and freely accepted, just as God's love of us is unconditional and free," Reverend Skinner finished and yielded to Lucy.

Those words reached something inside Jess and he reached out to touch Rory's arm. All his life he had to work for even the slightest bit of attention, then out of Hell rose this beautiful woman who loved him in spite of every fault or maybe because of it, the way it should be.

"Today truly is a glorious day the Lord hath made," Lucy began, "As today you are all blessed with God's greatest of all gifts - the gift of abiding love and devotion between a man and a woman. All present here today - and those here in heart - wish you all the joy, happiness and success and the world has to offer.

"As you travel through life together, I…we caution you to remember that the true measure of success, the true avenue to joy and peace, is to be found within the love you hold in your hearts. I would ask that you hold the key to your heart very tightly."

As Lucy finished Luke contemplated those words. He and Lorelai had all ready done that, they'd kept their hearts locked away so tightly they'd almost missed their chance at the life Reverend Skinner and Lucy were talking about. Now though, out of and because of chaos, they realized how much they needed to love the other.

"Within the Bible," said Reverend Skinner "Nothing is of more importance that love. We are told the crystalline and beautiful truth: _"**God is Love**"._ We are assured that "**_Love conquers all_". **It is love, which brings you here today, the union of hearts and spirits. As your lives continue to interweave, remember that it was love that brought you here today, it is love that will make these glorious unions, and it is love which will cause these unions to endure to the end."

Reverend Skinner moved into the next part of the ceremony. "My dear friends, you have come together before this company so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church's minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches you by a special ceremony so that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions." He looked at Luke and Lorelai, "Lucas and Lorelai Victoria, will you please face each other and join hands."

Rory and Jess stayed to the left of Luke and Lorelai and turned to watch the event unfold. "Lucas and Lorelai Victoria have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"We have," the replied, eyes shining locked with one another as if their were no one else in the room

"Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

"We will," the replied, again in unison as if they had been doing that for years.

"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" Reverend Skinner asked as his final question.

Luke wanted to reach out and touch Lorelai's belly, knowing that they had all ready made a baby together and that it was indeed the most wonderful feeling in the world. "We will," the both said with a smile that no one but the other knew the meaning of.

"Jess and Lorelai Leigh," Lucy said. "Will you come together please and join right hands."

Jess and Rory switched places with Luke and Lorelai and listened to Lucy ask them the same three questions as Reverend Skinner had asked Luke and Lorelai. With equal sentiment and enthusiasm they gave the same response.

"A marriage ceremony represents one of life's greatest commitments," Reverend Skinner said."But also is a declaration of love. At this time we would like to call upon Mr. Christopher Hayden, Lorelai Leigh's father, to read to you what Paul wrote of love in a letter to the Corinthians a long time ago. We believe this is a true model of love, and it is a model of love I would hope both couples would pursue in your marriages. Mr. Hayden."

Lucy and Reverend Skinner stepped aside and let Christopher stand under the chuppah before the couples to read the passage selected. It had been Jess' idea to ask her father and his father to do the two readings.

_" Though_ _I speak with the tongues of men and angels,"_ Chrisopher began, glad Rory asked him to play even a small role in the ceremony. _"But do not have love, I am only sounding brass or tinkling cymbals. Though I have the gift of prophecy and understanding all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains – but do not have love, I am nothing. Though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned but do not have love, it profits me nothing._

_Love endures and is kind. Love is not envious or jealous. Love wants not itself, is not puffed up, does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not its own, it is not easily provoked, and thinks no evil. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousnes - but in the truth._

_Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails._

_Where there are prophecies, they shall fail, where there be tongues, they shall cease, where there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect is come, that which is part shall be done away with._

_When I was a child I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child. When I became an adult, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly - as in a mirror - but then we shall see face to face. At present I know partially, then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain- these three- but the greatest of these is love._ "

Christopher gently touched Rory's shoulder as he returned to his place behind Emily and Richard.

When Lucy and Reverend Skinner stood before the quartet again, Reverend Skinner said, "Lucas and Lorelai Victoria have requested traditional vows. If you will once again face each other and join right hands," he requested. "Lucas, repeat after me. I, Lucas William Danes, take thee Lorelai Victoria Gilmore to be my lawfully wedded wife."

"I, Lucas William Danes, take thee Lorelai Victoria Gilmore to be my lawfully wedded wife," Luke repeated softly, looking into Lorelai's shining eyes. I, Lucas William Danes, take thee Lorelai Victoria Gilmore to be my lawfully wedded wife."

"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer," Reverend Skinner led.

"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer," Luke echoed, his voice growing huskier.

"And I promise to love you forevermore," Reverend Skinner finished.

"And I promise to love you forevermore," Luke sighed, letting one tear fall.

"Now Lorelai, repeat after me. I, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, take thee, Lucas William Danes, to be my lawfully wedded husband."

Lorelai repeated, "I, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, take thee, Lucas William Danes, to be my lawfully wedded husband."

"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer," Reverend Skinner continued, his own eyes misting at witnessing this perfect couple recite their vows to each other. Vows he knew this couple would be able to stay true to.

"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer," Lorelai repeated, tears falling freely. Luke reached to brush one of them off her soft cheek.

"And I promise to love you forevermore," Reverend Skinner concluded on a sigh.

"And I promise to love you forevermore," Lorelai sobbed, leaning her cheek into Luke's hand. He brushed it gently and mouthed, "I love you."

Then it was Rory and Jess' turn. "Jess and Lorelai Leigh have chosen to recite their own vows. Jess, will you and Lorelai Leigh face each other and join right hands," Lucy requested. "We'll begin with Jess."

Jess held Rory's hand tightly, his brown eyes shining as he began to recite the words they had selected. "I promise to you today before God, our family and friends to stand by your side. Unfailingly share and support your hopes and dreams. I vow to always be here for you through thick and thin," he squeezed her hand and thought to himself how that was true of her as well. "When you fall, I will catch you. When you cry, I will comfort you. When you laugh, I will share your joy. No matter what lies ahead for us I will see it as a journey, one that can only be completed by the two of us together. From this moment everything I am and everything I have is yours, and for eternity my love for you will remain."

Rory was crying when Jess finished his declaration. They had chosen the vows together from books of romantic poems and saying, but hearing them from his mouth at their wedding was more than Rory expected. It was with hoarse tear-filled voice that she began to recite her selection.

"When I was a little girl, I prayed for a man who would sweep me off my feet and share my feelings, hopes, and dreams. God answered that prayer by giving me you to fulfill that dream," she held his chocolate eyes with hers, speaking firmly if brokenly. "You made that dream come true. There is just one thing different — it is far more wonderful than I ever imagined. I dreamed of being in love, but I never dreamed of sharing my soul. I dreamed of sharing my thoughts, but I never dreamed someone could hear me without words. In my darkest trouble; in my brightest joys; in my coldest silence; in my warmest thoughts; I looked for you and you were there. I give you my life and all my love throughout eternity. For yesterday is only a dream and tomorrow is but a vision, but today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of hope and tomorrow a vision of hope. I am yours forever and I love you."

There were no truly dry eyes when Rory finished her vows to Jess. This couple was unique, it has been challenged, criticized, ripped apart, and forced together. All of that had led them here to this place and all gathered were happy to see their struggle rewarded.

Lorelai and Luke joined Rory and Jess in the center again as Reverend Skinner asked, "The rings please."

Both brides and grooms took their rings and placed them in the hands of the ministers officiating, Lorelai and Luke's bands to Reverend Skinner and Rory's and Jess' bands to Lucy.

"Wedding rings are an outward and visible sign of an inward spiritual grace, signifying to all the uniting of these men and these women in marriage," Reverend Skinner pronounced. "Lucas, place this ring on Lorelai's finger and say, 'Lorelai, accepted this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

Luke took the delicate band he'd selected and had engraved with their names and wedding date and repeated the words as he slipped it on Lorelai's finger, "Lorelai, accept this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

"Lorelai," Reverend Skinner prompted.

"Lucas," Lorelai stated with the ring in her hand. "Accept this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Lucy concluded the ring exchange leading the soon to be Marianos through the ritual, then said, "In Ephesians, the relationship between husband and wife is compared to between Christ and the church. We would now like to call upon Jess' father, James Mariano to read that passage to us."

Jimmy took his place where Christopher had previously stood and nervously read the assigned verses. _"Submit yourselves one to another as the fear of God. Wives, show reverence for your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own Husbands in everything. _

_"Husbands, love your wife, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word; that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkles or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own body; He that loves his wife loves himself. _

_  
For no man ever yet hateth his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. _

_"For this cause shall man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is a profound one and I am saying this as it refers to Christ and the Church; however, let husband love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respect her husband."_

When Jimmy finished her walked down and resumed his seat next to Sasha. He never dreamed he'd even be invited to his son's wedding, never mind actually give a reading at the event. He clasped Sasha's hand and she smiled at him.

"At this time, we will as married people and as ministers of the gospel charge the couples with their responsibilities in their marriages," Lucy announced before she and Reverend Skinner began speaking simultaneously. "Lucas and Lorelai Victoria, Jess and Lorelai Leigh, you come into these marriages uniting you as husbands and wives, and as you this day affirm your faith and love for one another, we would ask that you always remember to cherish each other as special and unique individuals, that you respect the thoughts, ideas and suggestions of one another. Be able to forgive, do not hold grudges, and live each day that you may share it together - as from this day forward you shall be each other's home, comfort and refuge, your marriage strengthened by your love and respect."

"Let us pray," Lucy requested and began a prayer over the unions about to be sealed. "Oh Lord, our hearts are filled with great happiness on Luca and Lorelai Victoria's and on Jess and Lorelai Leigh's wedding day, as they come before You pledging their hearts and lives to one another. Grant that they may be ever true and loving, living together is such a way as to never bring shame or heartbreak into their marriages. Temper their hearts with kindness and understanding; rid them of all pretense of jealousy. Help them to remember to be each other's sweethearts, helpmates, friends and guides, so that together they may meet the cares and problems of life more bravely. And with the passage of time, may the home they are creating today, truly be a place of love and harmony, where your spirit is ever present.

"Bless this union we pray, and walk beside both of these special couples throughout all their lives together. We ask these things in Jesus name; AMEN"

"It is my pleasure at this time to call upon Stars Hollows own Patricia LoCossa to sing "Sunrise, Sunset" while our couples light the unity candle," Reverend Skinner told the crowd.

Miss Patty rose and moved to her place beside the candle as Reverend Skinner explained the ceremony. "Lucas and Lorelai Victoria, along with Jess and Lorelai Leigh these individual candles symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of friends. I ask that each of you take on of the lit candles and that together you light the center candle.

"The individual candles represent your lives before today. Lighting the center candle represents that your lives are now joined to one light, and represents the joining together of your two families and sets of friends to one," Reverend Skinner said. "This is even a more unique and special ceremony in this case, as we are not uniting both couples as husband and wife, but as mother and son and father and daughter."

As Lorelai and Luke along with Rory and Jess took the separate candles they listened to Miss Patty's voice sing the sentimental words of a song that meant so much to each of them, whether or not the realized it.

Is this the little girl I carried?  
Is this the little boy at play?

I don't remember growing older  
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?  
When did he get to be so tall?

Wasn't it yesterday  
When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset  
Sunrise, sunset  
Swiftly flow the days  
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers  
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset  
Sunrise, sunset  
Swiftly fly the years  
One season following another  
Laden with happiness and tears

Lorelai watched Rory and Jess smile at each other in the soft grow of the newly lit candle. Luke did so as well wondering when these two children had grown into adults.

What words of wisdom can I give them?  
How can I help to ease their way?  
Now they must learn from one another  
Day by day

They look so natural together  
Just like two newlyweds should be  
Is there a canopy in store for me?

Sunrise, sunset  
Sunrise, sunset  
Swiftly flow the days  
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers  
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset  
Sunrise, sunset  
Swiftly fly the years  
One season following another  
Laden with happiness and tears

Miss Patty concluded the song once the large center candle was lit and the couples were once again positioned under the chuppah.

"Let us pray," Reverend Skinner instructed. "Lord, we pray for all married persons, that they may continue to give, be able to forgive and experience more and more the joy of the Lord with each passing day. And especially for Lucas and Lorelai Victoria as well as Jess and Lorelai Leigh, now beginning their married life together, that they may have divine assistance, the constant support of friends, and a long life with good health. May your fullest blessing come upon Lorelai Victoria and Lorelai Leigh and their husbands Lucas and Jess, from this day forward, for ever and ever, Amen." Reverend Skinner concluded his prayer and stepped back for Lucy to say hers.

"May Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, always be at the center of the new lives you are now starting to build together, that you may know the ways of true loves and kindness. May the Lord bless you both all the days of your lives and fill you with his joy. Amen."

Both ministers stepped down the steps of the chuppah and each taking their respective couples hands in their own said in unison, "Those, whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

Reverend Skinner took the lead once again, "As this is a double ceremony, there will be two pronouncements of the couples. We ask you hold you applause until both couples have been pronounced and introduced. Lucas and Lorelai Victoria, in so much as you have in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Holy Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the joining of your hands and the giving of these rings, I now declare you to be Husband and Wife. Kiss your bride, Luke."

Luke gentle cupped Lorelai's cheek in his hand and brushed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss that held all the love he held for her in his heart.

Lucy stepped forward next to pronounce Rory and Jess, "In so much as Jess and Lorelai Leigh have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, having given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and having declared same by the giving and receiving of a ring, I pronounce that they are husband and wife." Lucy paused as she let a few tears leak out. She was so happy and proud to see how far this couple had come.

Jess cleared his throat, "May I now kiss the bride?" he asked with a chuckle.

"That would be a good idea," Lucy responded on a laugh.

Jess' kiss to Rory was not as chaste or gentle as Luke's to Lorelai, but it did all that a kiss after marriage was supposed to do, sealed the promised they had made to each other.

Through a wide smile Reverend Skinner loudly announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Lucas Danes," he motioned to Luke and Lorelai standing arm in arm.

"And it is mine to introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jess Mariano," announced Lucy.

The room erupted in applause as the recessional began to play. Luke and Lorelai retreated back up the aisle swiftly, while Rory with Jess leaning on her did so more slowly. Either way, neither couple had ever been happier, more content, or more loved.


End file.
